Monday, July 7, 2008

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Why, why, why, why, why?

Ugh......I make myself sick sometimes.

Last night, there was a snippet on the news about Tropical Storm Bertha.

The logical part of my brain (you know, that very, very, very, tiny part in the back...that got bruised when I was dropped on my head too many times...yeah, that one) says "Mama Dawg, you live way away from anywhere a hurricane can hit. Calm down and go back to organizing your beads by color and size." (before you can ask or make a smart ass comment, no, this is not a "life coach" moment ala Paris from Gilmore Girls...I'm working on my stuff...to be announced later)

However, the other 98% of my brain (told you it was a small portion) started screaming "Pack yer stuff, we're outta here!". I was thisclose to an anxiety attack.

But what's even worse...when I got to work this morning, I immediately hopped on NHC (that's National Hurricane Center to you lay people....snicker, snicker...I just said lay!) to check out the stats.

And I just did it again a minute ago. Both times feeling incredibly anxious.

What is wrong with me?

Can I not put this crap behind me? I mean, in comparison, I wasn't really affected by Katrina. I knew people that went through way worse times than I did, but it's still got a chokehold on me.

Calgon, take me a way!

Going home to throw back some zin.

Later,

Mama Dawg

14 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

I HATE MARY

whats 'zin'?

I HATE MARY

whats 'zin'?

~Sheila~

Ok, so I am here in the Gulf and I am going to show you all about my crazy husband who parents my children. And the totally sane mother who had to drag them away from where they are...I will be posting about that very soon.

Where are you at?

Insane Mama

It's called anxiety, get some ativan from your DR. That's what I do when I start to obssess. Where do you live?

Mama Dawg

Jared-zin is zinfandel (in this case, white)

Sheila-I used to live in New Orleans, now I'm in Northern MS.

IM-see above!

Minivan Mom

PTSD - not just a random assortment of letters anymore.

In all seriousness, I doubt you have clinical PTSD (based on your blog and general demeanor, but maybe you hide a lot? I don't know), but I WOULD cut yourself quite a bit of slack for getting anxious about hurricanes.

You can always road trip to central Texas if you need to go anywhere - my sister loves having me as an evacuation route should she need to leave Houston...which she periodically does.

Mama Dawg

Tracey-I (like you) don't think I have PTSD because generally, I'm in a good mood and have positive thoughts. Especially since I moved out of the hell hole that was New Orleans post-Katrina.

I guess I should cut myself some slack but it just bugs me that it still gets to me.

I have no need now to evacuate! Thank Goodness!

Now it's just tornadoes and water moccasins!

Heather

Oh sweetie!! Keep sorting those beads. Just keep sorting...and drinking.

Jen

If you lived through Katrina, I think you have right to be a little anxious about hurricanes.

I'd be drinking some wine after that snake encounter.

AFRo

It's okay sweetie. You have a right to your moment. Just keep organizing... it always helps me feel "in control" of my anxiety moments.

Also, let me throw in that I am less than an hour away from you if I remember correctly and even when Katrina made landfall, all was relatively calm here despite some rain and wind. Nothing in comparison to what our friends on the coast took.

I'll be thinking about you and let me know on that hurricane thing. Seriously. I'm a weather freak!

Rhea

I have a wonderful little stash of Xanax for these moments, and trust me, I HAVE THESE MOMENTS. I don't worry about hurricanes (although I can see how you would) but I have other things that set me off and I worry about. I hate anxiety.

I wanna know about the beads. Are you making jewelry?!!

Rhea

BTW, I have family in Baton Rouge and in Houston, and both are overrun with Katrina refugees. I moved from Austin a year ago and we even had a pretty large unflux of New Orleans people. That was just HUGE.

Lindsay

There is nothing wrong with worrying about this. If you need anyone to sort beads by size and color with, this fella (is that the right way to make feminine...who cares, it's late) obsessive-compulsive would be happy to oblige.

Mama Dawg

Heather-Don't worry, I got the drinking part down! I tease...I don't drink that much. Mostly cause I forget that I have some in the frig. or a new bottle in the cabinet.

Jen-LOL on the snake. That really got to you, didn't it?

Afro-I was joking about the beads (I really was organizing but not because of anxiety but because it needed to be done), but when I read your comment, it really hit home. I didn't even realize it until you said it but it does calm me down because it does give me a sense of control over something. Since I can't control the weather (boy, that would be a cool super power), I gotta find something I CAN control. Hmmm...something to think about.

Yeah, I think you are about an hour away. I'll let you know!

Thanks!

Rhea-LOL! I've never been on any kind of drugs (legal or illegal) so I don't have a stash of anything harder than Tylenol! I had to have pain pills one time after my c-section and some valium for oral surgery. Both times, I still had over half the bottle left over and I just gave 'em to my neighbor...is that wrong? LOL!

I'll let you guys know what I'm up to with the beads sometime today or tomorrow.

Lindsay-You'll be the first one I'll call if I need help! LOL!

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