Friday, December 4, 2009

Dude, THEY Read My Blog!!!!!!!!

Remember this post?

Well, check this out!

Spooky.........now, where the eff is my finders fee?

Later and have a jolly weekend, y'all!


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

You Can't Handle the Randomness!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A day late and a dollar short.

Tell it to my pimp!




My friend from New Orleans had bought me the tiny "Pimpin' Your Pumpkin" kit from Barnes and Noble. We found a pumpkin at Wal-Mart that was just perfect and we decorated that bitch up!

***************

Know what I did this past weekend?

Made a hermit crab cage!

Yeppers. With my own two little hands.

I bought the wire cover, snagged an extra pressed wood shelf from a storage unit that's not being used, cut apart an old cutting board and staple gunned the hell out of everything!

I have a temporary lid on it right now.




Anastasia looks pleased!






***************

You know how I've talked before about Operation Christmas Child?

Well, here's my new area that I keep all my supplies.

Yeah, those are all filled to the brim.

That's a crapload of stuff!

The kids should be happy!

We've already started on next years boxes. We've got about 50 so far. They're not complete though. I still need soap and washclothes and whatnot for them. But, since this is a year long thing for myself and Light, it'll get done.




***************

Speaking of the shoebox stuff.....a couple of weekends ago, we went to this discount store. Kind of like a Ross's or a TJ Maxx, but waaaaaaaaay down on the ladder. It doesn't look like much from the outside and sometimes you go there and the deals suck, but this time? PAY DIRT!

50 embroidered belts at 5 CENTS a piece and in total, 6 tubes of lip stuff (chapstick and lipstick)....all for LESS THAN SIX DOLLARS!!!!!











Pretty frickin' awesome!

***************

Have y'all ever seen my international rings that I wear almost every day?

No?

Well then, here you go.

On my ring finger is a cladagh ring (Irish)that I got in Epcot.

On my index finger is a crown ring (English) that I got in the Quarter in New Orleans......




and on my right hand, a Greek key ring.....straight outta Greece! Thanks to my Aunt C, that is.



***************

One downside to this new job?

When someone rents the building for a dinner or a banquet, the smell of the food cooking is DRIVING ME CRAZY! I'm so hungry for BBQ right now thanks to the people that are doing a dinner here tonight. They started cooking a couple of hours ago and my stomach is YELLING AT ME!!!

***************

Later,


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Reason #176 Why I Love My Daughter

Well, we all know she rocks. She truly does.

Tuesday morning, when I was getting ready for work and she was sitting on the couch waiting for our neighbors to pull down to the end of the driveway (indicating it's time for the bus), we were watching part of the Today show.

They were talking about Sarah Palin's new book that was coming out and made a mention that it was 400 pages long.

I said, "What on earth could she have to say that would cause a book to be 400 pages long?" and my incredibly clever daughter replied,

"The book must be large print."

***************

Speaking of my incredibly clever, talented and simply gorgeous daughter, she has a new post up at her blog.

It's poetry. Please be gentle to my budding poet.

Click HERE to go there.

Later,

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

RTT

It's Tuesday.

You know what that means.

randomtuesday


So.......cow weighing watch commences. No cow weighing today.

***************

You know what, I just realized you have absolutely NO CLUE what that means.

I failed to tell you what my new job is.

I now work for an Extension service for a big university here in my lovely state. I'm the office associate.

I basically answer phones, schedule rentals for the building, type up stuff, e-mail stuff, mail stuff, clean stuff, help people with stuff.

BUT.......what I'm highly anticipating.....and what they PROMISED me I could help with......which now that I think about it, most people might not want to do.....is I get to help weigh COWS! And other livestock!

Weighing cows. It doesn't get any cooler than that.

Ain't life grand?

***************

I had a strange dream last night.

It involved this guy:




and my best friend from high school. Somehow, I ended up with this guy but Jenny either had been involved with him and still liked him or just like him. It was a weird love triangle and I woke up feeling so guilty. We were never really interested in the same guys in high school. I stuck to dumb jocks and she stuck to smart actors. It was just a weird feeling I woke up with. I'm sure there's a deeper meaning, but I really don't care to explore what it might be.

***************

Sigh.......I wanna weigh some cows.

***************

Know what's happening here at work this morning? The 4-H club is making sweet potato log rolls. If you've never had one of these, let me tell you something. They are heaven all wrapped up in plastic.

I mean, the office is smelling soooooooooooooooooooo delicious right now. I just ate breakfast and am really not hungry, but the smell is making me hungry.

I just better not gain back any of that weight I lost earlier this year.

***************

Later,


Friday, November 13, 2009

Dear So and So

Dear Me,

You can tell how much you've adapted to living in the country when you find yourself showering with a dog skull in the tub with you and you don't even bat an eye.

Scratching Head in Wonderment,

Me


****************

Dear Current Job,

Today is my last day with you. You've been........interesting to say the least. I'll miss all of the weird and wacky conversations my co-workers have had that they don't know I've been privy to since I've always got my earbuds in. Yeah, I don't keep the volume up THAT high on my iPod. I've heard EVERYTHING!!!! Mwah, hah, hah, hah, hah!!!!!

Sayonara,

Me


***************

Dear New Job,

Thank you for being 15 minutes away from my house instead of the 2 hour round trip drive I do every day with my soon to be former job.

Thank you for giving me 2 weeks off at Christmas...WITH pay.

Just.....thanks.....in general.

I hope we'll get along!

See you Monday at 8 a.m.,

Me


***************

Dear Sonic Breakfast Burrito,

Thank you for being so yummy.

Love,

My stomach and taste buds


***************

Dear Mom,

Next time you want to buy me a breakfast burrito from Sonic to take to work the next morning, I'll just take a junior one. The regular ones are too big (that's what she said!).

Thanks mommy!

Love,

Me


***************

Dear Last Day of Work,

Please don't be one of those LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG days.

Grateful in Advance,

Me


***************
Dear iPod,

Thank you so much for playing my songs this morning in the most random order I've ever experienced.

Here's a sampling:

Bloody Valentine-Good Charlotte
Buttons-Pussycat Dolls
Teddy Bear-Elvis Presley
It's Still Rock and Roll-Billy Joel
Come On and Dance-Steve Miller Band
Woman-Maroon 5
Manic Monday-The Bangles
Banana Boat Song-Harry Belafonte
I'm in Love with a Stripper-T-Pain

You rock,

Me


***************

If you want to play along, click here.

Dear So and So...

Later,

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?

Ok.

Don't judge me.

But these are my latest crushes.





Kevin Rankin from "Trauma"


Cliff Curtis from "Trauma"



Robert Knepper from "Heroes" and "Prison Break"
(yes, T-Bag......shut up)


John Slattery from "Mad Men"





Taylor Schilling from "Mercy"

Who are your most recent crushes?

Later,

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Randomness Abounds

It's Tuesday and you know what that means!!!!!!!!

randomtuesday

Click to read and enjoy. And maybe even join in.

***************

Here's Light's jack-o-lantern.

I've been letting her design it for the past 5 years. Whatever she draws, I cut.

She's got such an imagination.

I simply adore the mouth. It was a bitch to cut, but it turned out great.




And I'm such a lazy mom...we didn't do the pumpkin until Saturday. The day of Halloween.

Sigh.....she'll forgive me one day.

Hopefully.

***************

I got an e-mail from a friend today. It's one that's been passed around before, but I died laughing at one of the "facts".

"If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb."

Dude, I've passed enough gas in my life to wipe Poughkeepsie off the map!

***************

I woke up this morning to the sound of a cat vomiting.

Happy Tuesday!

***************

When I went to go take my shower this morning, I found a Barbie pool party going on.

I also found Barbie sized underware just randomly tossed around the tub.

Those Barbies are sluts.

***************

I gave the dogs a bath last night.

In the tub in my house.

Max is only like 25 lbs, so that wasn't too bad.

Nikki is over 50 lbs.

I'll let you use your imagination on that one.

It wasn't pretty.

But at least they don't smell like ass anymore.

***************

I'll now leave you with one of my favorite songs from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack.







Later,


Monday, November 2, 2009

Reason # 342 Why I Love My Child

When asked by an elderly lady if she was a bee, she replied...


...."No ma'am, I'm a MONARCH butterfly."



Halloween costume, 2009



Ever seen a butterfly....excuse me, a MONARCH butterfly....with attitude?


How was your Halloween?


Later,



Friday, October 30, 2009

Dear So and So

Dear Lady Walking In Front Of Me This Morning On The Way Into Work:

You know, the sidewalk is made wide enough that two people can walk side by side. Or if that's too uncomfortably close, you can at least walk past a slower walking person.

However, that little fact seemed to have eluded you this morning. Instead, you were bobbing and weaving from side to side worse than Sugar Ray.

Did you not notice me breathing down your neck as I tried to pass you?

Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Co-Worker That Got Pissed At Another Co-Worker For Wanting To Lock The Door:

Yeah, I don't blame them. I would feel like you might steal my shit, too.

Shut your trap and sit down like a good little girl.

No one wants to hear from you. Especially since you're a known liar.

Trust me, Elvis was NEVER married to your aunt......no matter what she said.

Again Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Captain Dumbass and Middle-Age Woman:

Thank you. Thank you so much for this. It made my day!

Grateful Zombie Lover,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Max,

Can you learn to speak human? I need to know what's going on with your foot. You're limping but I can't see the source for the limp.

Concerned,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Clock,

Can you please be 2:45?

Bored,

Mama Dawg


Wanna play along?

Click on the button.

Dear So and So...

Later,

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

BETRAYED.....I've Been BETRAYED!!!!!

Oh, the horror. I've been betrayed in the worst possible way.

It's too much to talk about.

I'm still hurt.

Every time I think of it, I literally shake my head to make the thoughts fly out of my ever racing mind.

I can't believe she did that.

Scratch that, I can't believe she DIDN'T do that.

It's too much. Just too much.

The trust is gone.

*POOF*

Gone.

I don't know how I'm ever going to trust anything she ever says again.

My own mother.

Betrayer extraordinaire.

I came home on Monday afternoon and asked about the rat.

She said, "Why do you want to know?"

I just told her I was curious how she killed it.

She asked again why I wanted to know.

I told her as long as I didn't have to SEE it happening, it didn't bother me. Did she beat it to death? Find something toxic to feed it? Broke its tiny neck? I mean, she did SAY that she was going to kill it. Not take care of it, but actually used the word KILL.

All she simply said was that its now in a box in a bag hanging from a nail on the front porch and that on Wednesday, I was to just add it to the regular trash.

Gross, I know, but we can't toss the dead body in the woods. The dogs will drag it back out.

So, yesterday afternoon, my curiosity got the better of me.

I took the bag down off the nail and took the box out. I tore off the Scotch tape and peered inside.

Totally expecting to see blood and guts and yuckiness all around.

What I did not expect to see was a LIVE FUCKING RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't do it! She didn't kill it!

She betrayed me!

I was totally expecting to see a dead rat and it WASN'T FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I did the only thing I could do......I found my duct tape and duct taped that box till it was nothing but a big silver rectangle.

I then taped the bag shut around the box.

At least I had the balls to suffocate it.

And after all that talk about how since she grew up in the country, it was easier for her to take care of stuff like that since it was how she grew up.

Gah........betrayer!

Later,



(P.S. I'm really not mad at her, but it did throw me for a loop)

Monday, October 26, 2009

She Cut Off Their Tail With A Carving Knife

I feel like the farmer's wife.

Wait, not really.

I didn't cut off their tails with a carving knife and there was only one.......


......but what a formidable enemy it was!

I've been hunting down this sucker for a while now. I think it's mama was the one I was chasing down with a knife at 3:30 in the morning last winter. The same one my then recently de-balled dog failed to catch due to the lingering anesthetic he had been under the day before.

I've heard it IN MY COUCH WHILE I WAS LAYING DOWN ON IT!!! I've heard it scrabbling in the walls. I've seen it out of the corner of my eye running to safety.

Thanks to the modern technique of putting a shitload of super duper strong glue on a piece of plastic, I finally got it!



Of course, Mike (the cat in the pic) is taking FULL credit for catching it. He's running around like he's all proud of himself.

Of course, the dilemma now is how to kill it.

Yeah, kill it. I can't risk it coming back for revenge.

Good thing my mom volunteered to kill it for me.

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. I could handle it if he had been trapped in a regular trap instead of this glue thing, but I can't do it if it's still alive.

It's too much like a pet. Ya know?

At least it'll be dead by the time I get home.

Oh, and that Donny and Marie record case? Suck it. If you want to read about that case, click here.

How was YOUR weekend?

Later,




Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lookee, Lookee!!!

As I've mentioned a few times on here, my mom and I both volunteer our time at a local Methodist rummage house.

Mom volunteers waaaaaaaaay more than I do, but then again, she's retired.

At least once a week, I make a run up there with her to help sort and stack the new stuff that's been donated and to get it ready for pricing and/or storage.

Mostly clothes are donated, but there are lots and lots of other things as well.

I've found all sorts of neat things there and decided that from now on, whenever I find something neat or interesting (at least to me), I'm gonna share it with you guys.

Maybe some of these things will bring back some memories or make you smile.

Last night, we went up there and there were 3 HUGE boxes filled with books and puzzles.

I was going through them to see what they had and look at what I found. I snatched it up right away and bought this bad boy. I couldn't resist.




It's a Disney puzzle from back in the late 50's/early 60's. They're selling for $20 on eBay!

But look at what the previous owner paid!




Yeah, 29 cents from Woolworth!


I love finding stuff like this. It totally makes my night!


I also found this puzzle and remembered that I had an old book that had to have been illustrated by the same person that designed this puzzle.


If anybody has any info on this illustrator or if it the design rings a bell, let me know, will ya?


The puzzle states it's from 1974. Which makes sense. I would have had book and puzzles from that time frame.



Have you ever found anything cool in rummage houses or junk stores?


Later,



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

And The Stars Rained Down From Heaven

Did anyone happen to catch the meteor shower early this morning?

I always see the news articles on Yahoo that we're having one and every time, I make a note to get up at 2:30 or so to watch it.

But seriously y'all? Mama Dawg NEEDS her sleep.

However, I do get up at 4:30 each morning and this morning was no exception.

It was a crystal clear sky. No clouds, no moon and living out in the country as I do, no city light pollution.

I did manage to see a few meteors streak across the dark morning sky but that's not what took my breath away.

Because it was such a clear sky and because it is soooooooo pitch dark where I live, I could see literally thousands and thousands of stars. More than I can usually see. It kind of reminded me of that moment in The Breakfast Club when Ally Sheedy shakes her hair and all that dandruff falls on the desk. Except this was stars. So many stars.

I felt so small at that moment. So very, very, very small.

And of course, me being me and having the imagination that I do, I totally felt that any second now, I'd look up and see a GIGANTIC shoe with a HUGE leg attached come down and squish me flat. I actually looked up in horror for a split second.

Then........a totally peaceful calm settled down over me and I sat on the front porch with Nikki on one side and Max on the other and I let my soul rest for a few moments more before I went inside to gather up the trash to take to the street.

I've noticed that the older I get, the more these moments are necessary for my survival. I've also noticed that the older I get, the more I tend to take time to acknowledge and give reverence to these moments.

If the wind is blowing and it's a gorgeous blue sky fall day, I will stop whatever I'm doing, close my eyes and just let the wind wash over me. Just as I'll stop and take the time to look up at the starry night sky and let my soul breathe.

I will live in the moment.

Later,

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Boys Will SOOOOOOOO Make Passes.....

.....at this girl who wears glasses.

I'm in trouble, aren't I?

Light had to get glasses. We went last week for the appointment and they told us it would be 10 days before we would get them. They came in 3 days later but I didn't get a chance to pick them up until yesterday.

I wanted to get a couple of photos to post and this is one I got.

All I simply said was, "Hey Light, look at me" and the second she turned towards me, this is the shot I got.

Damn, I'm in so much trouble when she gets older.

Anyone got a shotgun?



Here she is when she first got them.


Here's my silly 9 (not 19) year old girl!




Later,








Monday, October 19, 2009

Slow Kisses Against A Car Door Updated!!!

I don't know if you guys remember this post or not, but I wrote it a while ago.

Due to the miracle called a search engine, Brandon found me!

And e-mailed me! How cool is that?

Anyway, I love this post so much, I decided to do a re-post.

Damn, just seeing his name in my e-mail inbox gets me hot remembering that kiss.

Enjoy!

I’ve been kissing boys since I was 11. I got my first kiss from Chipper McMahon. Like Charlie Brown with his elusive little red-haired girl, Chipper was my little red-haired boy.

I crushed on him so hard from first grade til even after I moved away to Florida.

A couple of weeks before I moved, Chipper, my friend Jennifer Anderson, Michael Reulet and I all went to Sykes Park to have a final farewell get together. I was right at the precipice of teen-age-hood but not quite there yet.

We all kinda sorta liked each other. I still had a massive crush on Chipper, but Michael and I had “gone together” earlier that year and there were still some residual feelings. Jennifer, I think, liked Chipper and maybe was a little interested in Michael, but it was clear from the time we got there that there was going to be some competition between Chipper and Michael for my affections that night.

There was a playground there that had a slide. It was one of those that had the plastic tube around it but it went straight, it didn’t curve. I remember that we decided that we would all sit behind one another (spooning, for a visual, if you need it, except sitting up, not laying down) and then lay down to go down the slide. I can still clearly feel the thrill of having Michael’s head in my lap and having my head in Chipper’s but not really understanding why I was feeling that way. It was innocent fun, nothing remotely sexual, but that was the first time I can remember having “those” feelings.

Later, when it got dark, we decided to sit down and play spin the bottle. We were pretty much the only ones at the park at that time.We found a bottle laying around and that’s when I got my first kiss. It was one of those real quick-blink-and-you-miss-it situations. I know that the more we played, the bolder we got. Michael and Chipper kept egging each other to “slip ‘em the tongue”. I can remember getting flushed but not really understanding what would happen if they did that. I was alternately repulsed but at the same time, intrigued.

I do remember Jennifer out-right refusing to do that and even though I verbally agreed, inside I can remember kinda hoping it would happen just to see what it was like.

I then moved to Florida and received my first French kiss from Pat Petito. I was 12 and I can remember being sooooo nervous. I also remember what a shit he was about it.

He had been teasing me for days about giving me my first French kiss and in between bouts of wanting to puke my guts out, I was anxious.

Like I said, he was a total shit about it. I lived near enough to the school to walk and it was a frequent hang out spot for kids after the teachers and students had left for the day. I was there with a friend and he was there with a friend. They had ridden their bikes up to the school but Heather and I had walked.

He had me pressed up against the brick wall outside of the seventh grade classrooms. I had my arms pressed against the wall and was so anxious. He leaned in close, put his lips to mine and SQUIRTED WATER in my mouth. I was totally humiliated. I slapped him and ran all the way home with Heather chasing me all the way there. I could hear him laughing while I was running.

For whatever reason, I forgave him and he finally fulfilled his promise by going full throttle with the kiss.

Yeah, I should have waited for someone else. It was slobbery and awkward and just gross. I can remember thinking “I waited for THIS?”

However, after I got rid of him and moved on to better boys, the kissing got much better.

I still had a few duds along the way but for the most part, they were pleasant and dreamy and wonderful.

I liked kissing. I liked the feelings of having my eyes closed while we did things with our lips and tongues that some of my girlfriends hadn’t experienced.

As much as I enjoyed kissing, I was not prepared for Brandon Delledonne.

In high school, I was a wrestlerette. This was kind of a wrestling cheerleader but we went beyond cheering for the wrestlers. We set up the gym, got our chosen guys bags filled with their favorite kinds of candy or snacks or drinks. We decorated and encouraged and whatnot.

Part of our duties were to walk in the opposing teams wrestlers and then walk in our own team.

Brandon was a wrestler from another school. I was the one that lead his school in at one of our matches.

We flirted and talked. I was 16 when I met him. Over the next two years, we would see each other at wrestling matches but we never hooked up. The timing was never right. Either he had a girlfriend (who was always in the stands) or I had a boyfriend.

When I turned 18, I started going “clubbing” with my friend Mimi (from the Drug Mule story). We used to go to a club called “The Embassy” EVERY Saturday night.

One night was while I was dancing my ass off, I spotted Brandon through the crowd. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year. I went over to him and said hi. He remembered me and we talked for a while. For the first time since we had known each other, we were both single. We exchanged numbers and that was that, or so I thought.

Well, he called. And asked me if I wanted to go out and do something. I said sure. He lived about 30 minutes away but decided to make the drive out to where I lived. Instead of going out, we decided to rent a movie and get Taco Bell for dinner. We stayed in at my house. My mom retreated to her bedroom and closed her door to give us some privacy.

We ate our Taco Bell and sort of half assed watched the movie. I kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye and we would do those little touchy things. You know what I mean…arm around the shoulder, finger making circles on his thigh, him rubbing my arm, me laying my head on his shoulder, etc….

I remember when it was time for him to head out, I walked him outside. I can remember that I was barefoot and wearing jeans.

We got to my car and he gently pushed me back against my door. He leaned in for our first kiss. I was anxious but ready all the same.

You know how you read about feeling electricity shoot from your connected lips all the way down to your “spot”?

Yeah, that’s what it was like. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing a really truly passionate kiss. One that had me pressing my entire body against his. One that had me fumbling for naked flesh under his shirt. One that almost made me have an orgasm OUTSIDE UP AGAINST MY CAR DOOR. Completely clothed and just with his lips touching mine.

It was THAT good.

I couldn’t get enough.

I was hungry for him.

Unfortunately, he had to leave me high and dry (well, not really, if you know what I mean) because he had to leave right then to get home in time to get some sleep before work the next day.

We “dated” for the next couple of weeks, but except for the kissing (and almost but not quite other stuff), we didn’t really have much in common.

The relationship, as it were, didn’t last long.

But to this day, I can still remember that kiss.

And also to this day, I’ve not had another like that.

Sigh…………

Anyone ever had one of those?

Later,

Friday, October 9, 2009

A Link and Two Photos

Yeah, not very creative, I know.

I have Monday and Tuesday and next Friday off. Light is out of school on Mon and Tues and on Fri, she has a field trip that I wanted to go on, so I'm looking forward to next week.

On Tuesday, she is going to the eye doctor. She seems to be having problems seeing the board at school. Since literally EVERY ONE in our family has glasses, it's inevtible. I just wanted to hold off for a few more years.

Oh, well, at least she looks cute in glasses. At least she looks cute in mine when she tries them on.

***************

The Flip Flop Queen posted a new blog post over at Flip Flops in the Sun.

Go check it out. It's really cute and fun. I had post it for her this morning but she told me what to say and how to post it.

Bossy little thing!

***************

Here's a pic of Nikki taken last night.

She's still a dream dog.


And here's my favorite little man, Max. The original dream dog.




What have y'all got planned for the weekend? Anything fun?


Later,



Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Random, Random and more Random

Yeah, I'm off a day.

***************

While I was in the bathroom, the song "Local God" by Everclear came on my iPod.

What? You don't listen to your iPod while on the pot?

Why not?

Anyway, it reminded me how much I loved the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack when it came out.

I loved it so much, I had BOTH c.d.'s of the soundtrack.

***************

Speaking of bathrooms, do you ever have one of those daily constitutionals where you practically have to be double jointed in order for it to exit your body?

I don't think I've ever had to work that hard for something to EXIT my body.

Labor not counting since I had an emergency c-section.

And to top it off, when checking it's size (cause surely it had to be a HUGE one), I was terribly disappointed and a bit peeved to find that it was just a normal sized one.

***************

Yeah, I just talked about poop.

Dr. Oz says we always need to check after we go even though no one will admit that they do.

How else can you remember what night you had corn?

***************

Speaking of music (not that we were just a second ago), I decided my top three soundtracks are as follows:

1. Grosse Pointe Blank
2. Romeo + Juliet
3. Mamma Mia

***************

Yeah, I like ABBA. So what?

***************

Dear cabbage,

I love you. I truly, truly, truly do.

But, is there any way that we can just get rid of that enzyme or whatever it is that makes me so gassy?

Thanks,

Me

****************

Speaking of cabbage, I have an INCREDIBLE recipe for you.

Ingredients:

Half a head of cabbage
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/3 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon of pepper (or to taste....I like a little more)
3 tablespoons sugar
1/2 stick of butter

Cut the half head of cabbage into small pieces. Don't shred, just cut.

Melt half a stick of butter in a deep pan. While that's melting, mix the remaining ingredients together in a bowl.

After the butter has melted, add the mixed sauce to the pan and let it come to a boil.

Once it comes to a boil, add the cut cabbage. Stir it around so the sauce gets mixed in good with the cabbage.

Put a lit on the pan and let the cabbage cook until soft.

For more flavor, let it slightly caramelize. It's soooooooooooooooooooo damn good it's not even funny.

***************

Oh my stars in heaven.

We had the best meal ever last night.

It included the above mentioned cabbage and a Hormel extra lean pork loin that was Pomegranate Basil flavored.

I've never had pork that was so tasty in my life.

And it's so easy to make. Just cut it out of its packaging, fold it loosely in some foil, stick in a pan and cook for like 40 minutes on 350 in the oven.

Delish.

And it makes terrific sandwiches the next day.

Just ask my tummy.

***************

And my rear.

***************

I'm thinking of getting rid of Who Would You Do?

Not many people seem to play anymore.

***************

I'm dying to do a photo shoot with Light this weekend. Hopefully it'll work out. Fingers crossed.

***************

Eh, that's it. I know there was more....oh, wait, I forgot.

We had the BEST thunderstorm like at 3:30 this morning. I could have sworn we had an inexperienced high school marching band right outside of my windows....that's how LOUD the thunder was.

It was awesome.

***************

"Shame" by the Avett Brothers is playing right this second on my iPod.

***************

Later,


Monday, October 5, 2009

Who Would You Do?

Since I had a very strange intimate dream about Pierce Brosnan last night, you all are treated to a .007 extravaganza.

And no, sex was not involved in my dream. And Pierce changed into a completely different non-actor person in my dream. A Viking woman was involved as well as a dead wife and me having to change clothes for absolutely no reason.

Oh, and a Starbucks muffin and hot tea.

Whatever....

On to today's edition of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Which James Bond would you prefer to stir, not shake, you in the boudoir?




The "looks like a contestant on Dancing with the Stars" Timothy Dalton.



The "looks like a froggy" Sean Connery.




The "looks like he's trying not to drop a deuce" Roger Moore.




The "looks like he knows how to handle his extra large gun" Pierce Brosnan.




The "looks like he DOESN'T know how to handle his teeny tiny gun" George Lazenby.




The "looks like he should have been cast as the butler who did it in Clue" David Niven.




The "looks like ice wouldn't melt on his ass" Daniel Craig.


As usual:


*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.


How was your weekend?


Later,


Mama Dawg

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