Dear So and So

Dear Me,

You can tell how much you've adapted to living in the country when you find yourself showering with a dog skull in the tub with you and you don't even bat an eye.

Scratching Head in Wonderment,

Me

****************

Dear Current Job,

Today is my last day with you. You've been........interesting to say the least. I'll miss all of the weird and wacky conversations my co-workers have had that they don't know I've been privy to since I've always got my earbuds in. Yeah, I don't keep the volume up THAT high on my iPod. I've heard EVERYTHING!!!! Mwah, hah, hah, hah, hah!!!!!

Sayonara,

Me

***************

Dear New Job,

Thank you for being 15 minutes away from my house instead of the 2 hour round trip drive I do every day with my soon to be former job.

Thank you for giving me 2 weeks off at Christmas...WITH pay.

Just.....thanks.....in general.

I hope we'll get along!

See you Monday at 8 a.m.,

Me

***************

Dear Sonic Breakfast Burrito,

Thank you for being so yummy.

Love,

My stomach and taste buds

***************

Dear Mom,

Next time you want to buy me a breakfast burrito from Sonic to take to work the next morning, I'll just take a junior one. The regular ones are too big (that's what she said!).

Thanks mommy!

Love,

Me

***************

Dear Last Day of Work,

Please don't be one of those LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG days.

Grateful in Advance,

Me

***************
Dear iPod,

Thank you so much for playing my songs this morning in the most random order I've ever experienced.

Here's a sampling:

Bloody Valentine-Good Charlotte
Buttons-Pussycat Dolls
Teddy Bear-Elvis Presley
It's Still Rock and Roll-Billy Joel
Come On and Dance-Steve Miller Band
Woman-Maroon 5
Manic Monday-The Bangles
Banana Boat Song-Harry Belafonte
I'm in Love with a Stripper-T-Pain

You rock,

Me

***************

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Later,

Dear So and So

Dear Lady Walking In Front Of Me This Morning On The Way Into Work:

You know, the sidewalk is made wide enough that two people can walk side by side. Or if that's too uncomfortably close, you can at least walk past a slower walking person.

However, that little fact seemed to have eluded you this morning. Instead, you were bobbing and weaving from side to side worse than Sugar Ray.

Did you not notice me breathing down your neck as I tried to pass you?

Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Co-Worker That Got Pissed At Another Co-Worker For Wanting To Lock The Door:

Yeah, I don't blame them. I would feel like you might steal my shit, too.

Shut your trap and sit down like a good little girl.

No one wants to hear from you. Especially since you're a known liar.

Trust me, Elvis was NEVER married to your aunt......no matter what she said.

Again Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Captain Dumbass and Middle-Age Woman:

Thank you. Thank you so much for this. It made my day!

Grateful Zombie Lover,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Max,

Can you learn to speak human? I need to know what's going on with your foot. You're limping but I can't see the source for the limp.

Concerned,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Clock,

Can you please be 2:45?

Bored,

Mama Dawg


Wanna play along?

Click on the button.



Later,