I Love It When It's All About Me

Pseudonymous High School Teacher sent me some questions for me to answer when I had a free chance. Well, I had a free chance.

Enjoy! P.S. If you're not reading her...why the hell not? First of all, she lives in Hawaii and post the most awesome pics and videos. If that's not enough of a draw....well, dammit, that should be enough right there. I dare you to go read her. She's like a bag of Lay's chips. You can't eat just one. Or, in this case, read just one entry.

1. If you could hook up with anyone for one week of the hottest sex ever, and it could be anywhere, where would you go and who would YOU do? (in honor of Mondays at Mama's)

Hmmmm....Birmingham, AL with an ex-boyfriend from high school who's now a Captain in the Army and is getting ready to be deployed BACK to the Middle East in July.

Oh, did I tell you guys that my ex-boyfriend from high school that's a Captain in the Army made plans for us to meet up in Birmingham next weekend? No? My bad. Sorry.

2. If you could time travel back in time or forward in time for an afternoon of hanging out and chatting, what time period would you visit and who would you visit with?

Hands down, easiest question.

My grandmother when she was young and hot and awesome back during WWII. She had some adventures. And when I say that, I mean clean healthy fun adventures, not wild ones (no sarcasm, my grandmother was a good girl). Her stories are so awesome from back in that time. And she was a stunner, I tell ya. I'd love to watch the men who watched her (not that she would have ever known they were watching her) as she walked down the street.

3. Someone wants to set you up in business and is willing to invest one million dollars. You have to use this to start your own business. What business would you go into?

I'd love to say my jewelry making, but if I'm gonna be realistic about this, I would have to say setting up some sort of warehouse/shipping business over the Internet. People always need things to be stored and then shipped when sold. But, I've not given this much thought. It was just off the top of my head.

4. You are going to be given one superpower. What do you want and why?

Invisibility. I'm a voyeur.

5. If you won a two week vacation with LOML to anywhere, where would you like to take her?

As much as I hate to be cliched, I gotta go with Disney World. I would love to take her some place new and different and with some more history, but if it's a free trip for two weeks and I want a guarantee we'll have an incredible time? Yeah, it's Disney. It NEVER fails to put a smile on our faces.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Eat Your Heart Out, Ryan Seacrest

I've been interviewed TWICE in the past week!

Granted, I signed up for both of them and they weren't interviewing me because I'm THAT fascinating. It's because I jumped down their throats when they offered to do an interview with a blogger.

The first set of questions is from the ever fascinating Jess over at This Life is Mine.


What was the funniest thing you have ever experienced?

What had me on the floor laughing my ass off? So many things. I love to laugh and find humor in some of the most mundane things. Recently it was a passage from a book by George Carlin. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't stop. It actually brought tears to my eyes. LOML got concerned cause I wouldn't stop.

If you had a million dollars what would you do with it?

If it was a cool million, I'd find some way to turn it into more money so I could take care of my family and friends but then build a no-kill animal shelter that I ran. I heard about this awesome idea that this guy in NC or VA had. He houses military pets. You know, when a guy or girl does a tour of duty but they have no one to take their dog or cat or whatever while they're gone for 15 months. He takes them in and houses them for FREE until they get back from their tour. This way, the military people don't have to give up their pets. I LOVE this idea.

What is your favorite breakfast food?

My favorite breakfast food has to be homemade blueberry scones and French roast coffee. But my most frequent breakfast is an egg sandwich on wheat bread. Yeah, I know. It's why I'm overweight.

If we went out on the town, what would we do for fun?

Oh, girl. What WOULDN'T we do is the question. That's easier to answer. And that answer is NOTHING! We would do it all! Really paint the town red! We'd make the local news we'd have so much fun.

What song always puts a smile on your face?

It's not so much a song as it is artists. Artists whose songs never fail to put a smile on my face are Billy Joel, Jonny Lang, Jimmy Buffett and the Eagles.

What artists make me bounce in my seat from wanting to dance? Any kind of hip-hop. Chris Brown, T.I., Beyonce (Single Ladies is like my fav song right now), Britney, Lil' Wayne, etc.....

What would I find in your refrigerator right now?

Almost empty bags of lettuce, roasted red pepper spread, milk, your regular condiments, half and half, leftovers, blood orange soda, lemonade, breads, veggies, cheese...it's pretty full right now.

How would you describe yourself in three words?

Tired, strange, fun.

The second set of questions is from Heinous over at IPR. Don't make me type out the name of his blog. I get confused and lost and next thing you know, I'm off on a tangent talking about my intense dislike of Chris Martin.

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, yeah, Heinous from IPR sent me this second set of questions. If you aren't reading this guy, you should. He's good. Real good.

What is the bravest thing that you feel you've ever done? Physically, emotionally, or whatever.

Wow. I have to say quitting my job without a safety net in 2007 and moving to the backwoods country after having lived in New Orleans for 9 years. I uprooted my daughter and myself to move to a place where there's no job opportunities and is below the national poverty line. However, I've never been happier.

What one talent do you wish you had that you don't?

I wish I could sing. But, I can't. I could literally make someone drop dead from the horribleness that is my singing. I still miss my Aunt Gladys.

We all have our reasons for blogging but what would be your ultimate goal for your blog or as a blogger?

Well, we all have secret dreams of becoming the next Dooce, but, in reality, I don't have a goal. I'm just having fun. When I get bored of this, I'll move on to something else.

You can trade lives with any one person for a month. Who would it be and why?

I would trade lives with my daughter. I would love to see what she sees and feel what she feels and do what she does. She seems to have such a good life.

There's a fire and your family is safe but you have the chance to save any one item from your house. What would it be and why?

My camera bag.

You have the chance to go back in time and warn yourself before making a bad choice. What choice would it be and what would you tell yourself?

I would not tell my ex-husband I was pregnant. I would have just kept it to myself and broke up with him (we got married when I was 5 months preggo) before I started showing. Yeah, that seems harsh, but he hasn't been around in 8 years. It's already like he doesn't know.

Good questions guys.

If anyone wants me to do an interview for them, just drop me a line in the comments and I'll come up with some questions.

Later,

Mama Dawg

I Need Questions

No, you read that right. I need questions.

I'm thinking of either doing a weekly or monthly Q & A with Light of my Life and I need questions to ask her.

Now, I know my own kid pretty well AND knowing her, any questions you ask her will probably end up surprising the hell out of me. Only 'cause she can be unpredictable that way.

So, I'll leave this post up all weekend and post in the comments any questions you want me to ask her. Depending on how many I get, it might take several sessions and several vids. But, from the response I've been getting from many of you, you wouldn't mind seeing my kid up here.

OK, let the questions begin.

And, you can ask her serious questions, silly questions, thought provoking questions. Really, anything (appropriate). She's up for them all!

If you need help, here's some deets on her.

She's 8
She takes dance lessons (since she was 2)
She LOVES music
She LOVES movies and TV shows on DVD
She likes playing Barbies
She likes playing baby doll
She has a boyfriend
She slept through a tornado once
She wants to be a cheerleader
She's really, really, really smart
She's nice and polite
She has a messy room, constantly
She likes to eat (will even try sushi and edamame)

Later,

Sex Education

So, with all this political BS that's been going on, I've read several blogs where they talk about the candidates "stand" on sex education.

Now, before you guys think, "OMG, is this another political post?"....um....no.

That's just what made me think about sex education.

When I was growing up, I never had the "TALK" with my mom. She never sat me down and went over details and feelings and morality and all that crap.

I learned by reading books (not just smut books but real, honest to God, science books) and talking to my friends and taking a health class my freshman year in high school.

I actually had a good understanding of what it was (technically) but the emotional aspect of it was a little...vague. However, if you've never done it, it's hard to describe. At least, to a teen, it's hard to describe.

I'm getting off point.

I've been reading where people are saying that they are going to teach their kids that it's better to wait til marriage but at the same time, arm them with the information and, yes, protection in case the kids decide to go ahead.

This brought up a question in my mind.What if you don't want to get married?

If you truly want your kids to wait until they get married to have sex, do you mean to say that you really, really, really want them to wait til then? Or just until they're able to responsibly take care of a baby that "accidentally" comes?

'Cause, if you really, really, really mean for them to wait...don't you think that's unfair to your kid? If they are the types of kids that really do what their parents tell them (I know, I know, pipe dreams), you might be condemning them to a life of virginity.

How is this fair? And, how is this fair to the kid for you to put the pressure of living up to your expectations on them?

I know, I know, it's ridiculous to think this because most people, they have sex once they reach adulthood...no matter what their parents say.

But, it's still something to think about.

And, another point, what if your kid is gay? And gay marriages are/have been abolished? (yes, yes, I know, it's not legal in every state....I don't feel like you guys are the types of readers who would make me point out EVERY SINGLE detail that may or may not need clarification)

Again, same dilemma.

And, not only that, but did you wait til you were married? No? If not, do you really feel good about telling your kid to wait until their married when you didn't do that yourself? Wouldn't you feel hypocritical?

I've already had the talk with light of my life. She asked me when she was about 6.

I went over the details with her. The technical details. I didn't go into details like the different kinds of sex. I just went over the basic man/woman sexual intercourse.

I also made the decision to tell her that she needed to wait until she could responsibly take care of a baby on her own (or with a partner if she chooses).

I don't want to put the pressure of marriage on her. I don't think marriage is for everyone and I sure as hell don't want to lead her down a path that's not her own.

I know this is all disjointed and rambling, but it was something that came up while reading other blogs.

What do you think? What are you planning on telling your kid(s)? When are you planning on telling your kid(s)?

And remember, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or I'll tell your mama.

Later,

Who Would You Do?

Ok, back by popular demand (Rhea, I mean you), here's the Monday Morning "Who Would You Do?" by Susan Segrest.

Both Tony Curtis and Tony Danza want to take you on a very special holiday-except there is no plan to leave the hotel room. Who do you say yes to? (click on names for pics)

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Happy Monday!

Later,

Who Would You Do?

It's Monday, dawg!

Again, an "interesting" question brought to you by Susan Segrest, author of "Who Would You Do?".

Would you rather lick Cheez Whiz off Danny DeVito's bare body or give Howard Stern a nude lap dance on national television?

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one or the other. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Help!!!!

Does everyone see those tool thingies on my blog when you click over? You know, the edit tools on each section?

If you do, how do you get rid of them? They're ugly.

Thanks bunches.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Question of the Day

Why is it that when some women come out of a bathroom, they leave it smelling like roses?

Literally, smelling like roses (or some other flower).

Do they take in some sort of body spray and liberally spray it after they’re done?

Or, have I actually found a group of women whose sh*t literally does not stink?

What do you think?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Quick Techie Question

How do people get videos on their blog? I know that there's a little icon thingie here on blogger, but I guess what I mean is, what kind of equipment do you use to take the video and then where do you dump the video to then upload it to your blog?

All I have is an analog video camera (no digital) and a digital camera that takes vids, but may not be good quality.

Any help is appreciated!

Thanks,

Mama Dawg

Today's Question

Why is it when I wear ballet flats, I immediately start walking like a ballet dancer? You know, like with a stick up my ass? (no offense to ballet dancers, I was one myself for 7 years)

Does this mean that when I wear my hooker heels, I should walk like a hooker?

What do you think?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Delicate Question

I have a...uh...friend that needs to dispose of a certain battery operated "boyfriend".

How does one go about this?

Wrap it up in newspapers and dispose of it with the regular trash (which may include items with your name and address on it)?

Are there any environmental issues with the disposal? You know, like pesticides, batteries and tires?

Is there a recycling center? (ewww......gross).

Ideas? Suggestions? Advice?

Later,

Mama Dawg