Guess What? Guess What? Guess What?

Ooohhhhh, I'm so excited!

I can not believe what happened!!!!!

I got an e-mail in my BULK folder this morning and...wait for it....

SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!! (imagine lots of squealing at this point...kinda like a 13 year old girl).

I haven't even opened the e-mail yet. I'm just so excited.

I don't know what to do first. I need a haircut and a new outfit. What if he doesn't end up liking me? (I assume it's a him)

No one's ever e-mailed me before that has a CRUSH on me!

I'm gonna go open it up. BRB!!!!! Wish me luck he's a 98 year old, rich as Croesus foreigner with no kids and no living relatives that has one foot in the grave. Fingers crossed!!!





What kind of cruel joke is this?

It's an advertisement for some sort of internet dating site.

You mean to tell me that no one has a crush on me? No one likes me? I don't get to give my baby a new daddy?

All I get is a stinkin' opportunity to "possibly" meet up with some loser guys who probably smell like feet for the low, low price of $59.99 a month.

What a rip off.

Later,

Mama Dawg

P.S. I really need to start designating some of my ridiculous e-mails as SPAM. It's getting really bad.

Double Take

I got a spam e-mail in my bulk folder and it caused me to do a double take. Most of them are stupid, but this one was funny at first glance.

The subject line said "Birth Control Newsletter".

My first thought was "there's a newsletter for this?"...then I realized it was for a class action lawsuit against Orthoevra.

My how my brain spins.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who's The Asshole....

....who sold my e-mail address to a singles website for Big Black Beautiful Women?

Seriously, I get an e-mail a day from this site. I always just delete the e-mails, but how on earth did my e-mail address get sold to them?

Oh, and I don't need Viagra either. Or to buy a HUD home. Or to try out the new green tea for diets that's been SEEN ON OPRAH! Or a government grant.

Assholes.

Later,

Mama Dawg