Who Would You Do?

Since I had a very strange intimate dream about Pierce Brosnan last night, you all are treated to a .007 extravaganza.

And no, sex was not involved in my dream. And Pierce changed into a completely different non-actor person in my dream. A Viking woman was involved as well as a dead wife and me having to change clothes for absolutely no reason.

Oh, and a Starbucks muffin and hot tea.

Whatever....

On to today's edition of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Which James Bond would you prefer to stir, not shake, you in the boudoir?

The "looks like a contestant on Dancing with the Stars" Timothy Dalton.

The "looks like a froggy" Sean Connery.

The "looks like he's trying not to drop a deuce" Roger Moore.

The "looks like he knows how to handle his extra large gun" Pierce Brosnan.




The "looks like he DOESN'T know how to handle his teeny tiny gun" George Lazenby.

The "looks like he should have been cast as the butler who did it in Clue" David Niven.

The "looks like ice wouldn't melt on his ass" Daniel Craig.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

It's Monday.........again.

I had a great weekend. Did lots of stuff at the house. I'll save all the juicy (read: boring) details for tomorrow's post.

That's right, y'all. I'm actually going to do two posts in a row! Been a long time since I've done that.

Let's get right to what you came for today, "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

No specific reason for this one today. Just felt like the men needed a bone (hee, hee, I said bone) thrown to them.

These ladies are feeling frisky and risky, and each is praying that you’ll want to join her for some carnal cavorting. Heather Locklear is skinny dipping in the Melrose Place communal pool. Heather Graham is having a Boogie Nights moment and is roller skating naked around your limousine. Who would you do?

Ms. Locklear

Ms. Graham

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

It's Monday.....again.



Had a good weekend. Went to a big city on Saturday and got LOML some jeans and a couple of tops. Found her Greek yogurt at a Kroger and that totally made her weekend. Lazed around all day Sunday and finally got off my ass around 4 to clean the bathroom floor and then grill some chicken kabobs. I had this jar of pineapple mango salsa that was perfect for marinating. Tossed some chicken in the marinade, added some mushrooms, onions, zucchini and squash on the skewers and grilled those bad boys. Damn, I'm a good griller. Never knew I had it in me. LOML wanted teriyaki instead of what we ate, so I did that just for her.



Anyhoo, here's Monday's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest). Enjoy!



These three ladies know how to do everything right: make the perfect bed, cook the perfect meal, and always look fresh as a daisy doing it. Would you do: June Cleaver from Leave It To Beaver, Donna Reed from from The Donna Reed Show, or Harriet Nelson of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet?

Mrs. Cleaver

Mrs. Reed

Mrs. Ozzie

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

So, how was YOUR weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Ahhhh......Monday, you're a bitch. Truly you are. I had a good weekend. I cleaned off the back porch yesterday and grilled for the first time. Yep, I kicked my grills ass. Those turkey burgers were to die for and the hot dogs were just like I like 'em. Can't wait to break that bad boy out again to cook some more.

The girl across the highway stayed over for dinner last night and when her dad, L, came to get her, I bragged to him about my new found grilling skillz. In all seriousness, he shook my hand and said he was proud of me.

Does that make me one of the boys now? Do I now have to grab my crotch, turn my head to spit out some chaw and chug a beer while I grill?

With all the testosterone floating around my backyard yesterday, I need a touch of femininity this morning.

For today's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest), I've chosen some lovely ladies for you to ogle.

Nicole Kdman, Penelope Cruz, Mimi Rogers and Katie Holmes have all had intimate moments with Tom Cruise. But don't let that put you off. Which one of these women would you like to get carnal with?



Ms. Kidman, if you please. There's just something about a strawberry blond ice princess.

A feisty Latina for anyone? Ms. Cruz certainly fits the bill. Something about those dark, exotic eyes.

Eh, other than a cool sounding name (my BFF is named Mimi), she doesn't do squat for me.

I've always thought Ms. Holmes was kinda smokin'. Especially during the latter years on Dawson's Creek. She's gone down a few points though since she married that couch jumping alien, but you know, we all make mistakes.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was YOUR weekend? Do anything fun?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Hello and welcome again to yet another edition of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest), the wildly disgusting (and sometimes titillating) Monday morning game brought to you by yours truly.....Mama Dawg.

I went with a tennis theme this Monday morning. Why? Cause that's the page I turned to and I'm too lazy to flip the pages to look for something better.

You're welcome.

Here we go:

You’re the ump at a pro tennis tournament and Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and John McEnroe have all been very, very bad boys on the court. In order to get to the semifinals they must prove to you just how sorry they are. Who do you start with?

Ladies (and some gentlemen), do you know how hard it is to find a hot picture of Pete Sampras? Most pics have his mouth in funny positions and not in a good way.

I couldn't decide if I should do a pic from the shaggy mullet days or post-shaggy mullet days. Since I like baldies, I went with post.

Know what's even harder to find than a hot picture of Pete Sampras? A picture of John McEnroe with his mouth CLOSED.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend? Do anything exciting?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

All righty, boys and girls. It's that time of the week again! MONDAY!

Time for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Since I couldn't decide if I wanted to do boys or girls today (yeah, yeah, insert your own joke here), I decided to pick one that had one of each.

You're welcome.

"It’s your Basic Instinct moment and both Sharon Stone Stone and Michael Douglas are trying to distract you with some full frontal flashing. Where do your eyes go?"

Ms. Stone?

Or Mr. Douglas?

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was YOUR weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

As promised fellas, I got some ladies up today.

Which leading female action star would you most like to have kick your ass.....and then help you "recover" later?

Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider, Milla Jovovich from Resident Evil, Uma Thurman from Kill Bill or Jennifer Garner from Elektra?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Yeah, babies, I'm back. Fo' sho'.

I know, I know. I should quit talking like a wanna be gangsta. Gimme a break. I almost died in a Wal-Mart while holding a DVD of "Edward Scissorhands" on Friday. I had to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some prints and got caught in the middle of a tornado warning. They actually got on the intercom and told all guests and employees to get in the middle of the store. All I kept thinking was "I don't wanna die in a Wal-Mart in Mississippi while holding a weird Johnny Depp movie!" After about 10 minutes, it was downgraded to a thunderstorm warning and I was able to leave.

Anyhoo, since I left the book at home, I'm winging it today.

In honor of my recent Disney trip, it's a Disney version of "Who Would You Do?".

If you had to get stuck on "it's a small world" with one of the below hotties, which one would you not mind ducking behind the Taj Mahal with until the ride started back up: Billy Campbell from "The Rocketeer", Shia LeBeouf from "Holes", Ben Barnes from "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" or my perennial fave, Johnny Depp from "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl"?

And men, no worries. Next week......all women choices!

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

And how was your weekend? Any near death experiences?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?: The Outtakes

This guest post was brought to you by one of my favorite Middle Aged Women EVER! MAW over at Unmitigated. Please hold your applesauce til the end of the post, thankyouverymuch.

We are all familiar with Mama Dawg's Monday morning tradition of proposing a variety of sex partners, and forcing us all to choose amongst them for her amusement. I happen to know that there are several lists which never made publication. While she is helplessly enthralled to The Mouse, along with LOHL, I thought I'd share this behind-the-scenes look at just what she has withheld.

First, there's this one...

Even the atheists moan, "Oh, God!" during really great sex. Which of the following holy figures brings you closest to visions of a Supreme Being? Gandhi, Mother Teresa of Kolkata, St. Francis of Assisi, or Martin Luther, founder of modern Protestantism? Remember, you can only pick one!

What about this politically incorrect one....

John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton made sex in the White House, well, sexy! They don't call them "heads" of state for nothing, you know. Which former president would you like to haunt the Lincoln Bedroom with? Martin Van Buren (sweet sideburns o' love!), John Tyler (he can Tippy my canoe!), Harry S Truman (what did he say stops here??), or Richard M. (18-And-a-Half-Minutes-of-Love) Nixon? Remember, choosing more than one can get you a congressional subpoena!


And, finally....

Sweet, Golden Moments of Love, brought to you by the Golden Girl of your choice. Who will it be? Seductress Rue McClanahan, Dominatrix Bea Arthur, Wide-Eyed, Innocent Betty White, or Snarky, Sexy Estelle Getty ? Picture your date on one of those Miami-area topless beaches. Once you've finished gouging your own eyes out with a spork, I'm sure the lovin' will be hot!

Who Would You Do?

It's Monday...again.

Sigh......I totally live for the weekends.

LOML got 2 awards at Friday's ceremony! Yay! She got one for being on Principal's honor roll all year long and one for having the highest AR (accelerated reading) points. However, she not only had the highest points for the entire third grade, she had the highest points for the ENTIRE SCHOOL!!!!! The average is like 60 points or so and she had 152!!!!! That's my girl!

Anywho, onto what you really came here for. "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

You're at a sex party playing a perfectly innocent game of Strip Twister with a group of hot female celebrities. Everyone's close to falling into a naked heap of bodies on the mat when you spin the wheel and land on "left butt cheek red". As you make your move, you slip and fall on a very famous face. Does it belong to Julia Roberts, Gwen Stefani, Ashley Judd or Reese Witherspoon?

(the book originally had Janet Reno as the 4th choice. WTF? So, for the safety of your eyes, I chose Reese instead. You're welcome.)

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Did you have a good weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday and I just want to thank my daughter for the beautiful gifts and cards I received. I'll share what I received with all of you tomorrow.

Right now? It's time for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest) and I'm in a Western mood today.

"You're on the set of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Paul Newman and Robert Redford are both giving you smoldering x-rated stares but you can only have one of them. Who would you do?"

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

For you mama's out there, how was your special day?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Four weeks left til my Magical vacation at the Happiest Place on Earth.

I really miss working my 4 day work weeks. Hopefully they'll hire someone soon so I can flex again.

Here's your Monday morning "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

He's filthy rich, single and looks great in leather. What's not to love? The only problem with pursuing Batman is that you've got to decide which one you want the most, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney or Christan Bale?

Since everyone needs a superhero every once in a while, I chose a Batman theme this week. Batman (with Wolverine right behind) is my most favorite wounded soul super hero. I love the mythology behind both characters.

Per the usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

And how was your weekend my lovelies?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Good Monday morning bloggie land! Hope your weekend was well. Mine wasn't too shabby. Did some heavy spring cleaning Saturday and Sunday and had LOML's dance recital Friday night. I'll do a post about that tomorrow...cause I know that all of you are DYING to see a 9 year old girl at her dance recital. Eh, I'll spare you all and only post 30 seconds of her jazz song plus some photos. I wouldn't dare torture you with the others. (not because she sucks......cause she totally doesn't, she rocks.....but even I hate going to dance recitals. If I could leave after my kid was done, I'd be in hog heaven).

Without any further chit chat, here's Monday morning's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

A little twitch of the nose and a small lusty spell could make any of these magical mavens yours. Who would like to work your sorcery with: Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie, Samantha from Bewitched or any of the Charmed Girls (post Shannen Doherty, of course)?

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Blah Monday morning to you all. I worked my ass off all weekend in the house on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, we went to town to go to Wal-Mart and had an unexpected treat in seeing a movie. We saw "17 Again" and although it's not an original movie, it wasn't too bad. Zac was hot, of course, but he's not a bad actor. If he continues to gradually move into more adult oriented (and unfortunately, not "adult") movies, he'll do well. Kind of like a Tom Cruise rise to stardom without all the couch jumping (hopefully).

Today's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest) is not out of the book and instead was inspired by Momo Fali's comment on my last post:

"That dream! Clearly, with the mouth gazing and the porn 'stache, you're totally into them. I think this is the next, "Who would you do?""

So......this one's for you, Momo!

If given the opportunity to star in an "adult" film with one of the following "reality celebrities", The Duggars (but not all of them, just the mom and dad), Nadya Suleman or Jon and Kate, who would you do?

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

I'm feelin' ornery this Monday morning, so you get a jacked up "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Be honest: you've spent more Saturday nights watching TV than actually getting any action, so it's only natural that you start fantasizing about your small screen best friends. Who would you do: Roseanne Roseannadanna, Opera Man, Church Lady or all of the Coneheads?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend? Did you have a good Easter?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Don't forget about my contest! It ends this Friday!

It's Monday again. The only thing that its got going for it is it's one day closer to going down to N'awlins this weekend and one day closer to Disney World.

Here's a little female power "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest)

The Bionic Woman, Jaime Sommers, offers to demonstrate the amazing sexual powers she was given in the lab and Wonder Woman, Diana Prince, whispers that she's desperate to slip off that little skintight superhero number and while still wearing her knee high boots, show you what her magic lasso is really used for. Who would you do?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

I left the book at home.

But Captain Dumbass was bugging me on Twitter this morning about WWYD (not to be confused in ANY way with WWJD) and I felt nagged obligated to get off my virtual ass and post one.

So, just to punish him (and any others by proxy), this one is gonna be all about Johnny Depp.

Hahahahahahahaha. In your face, Captain.

You're given a choice to star opposite Johnny Depp in a sequel (or sequel to a sequel to a sequel) to ONE of his movies. With character would you most like to share an onscreen kiss (and possibly more)? Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands from Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Raoul Duke from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?

The blah, blah, blah part:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

This'll teach you to piss off the Mama Dawg on a Monday morning.

Later,

Mama Dawg

P.S. Captain, you know I love you! *smooches*

Who Would You Do?

Blah Monday morning all.

The only good thing about today so far is that it's gonna get in the high 60's. Yay! Otherwise, it's a typical Monday.

Guys, you're welcome for today's choices on "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Forget high speed car chases and exotic martial arts- Angelina Jolie and Michelle Yeoh have invited you to participate in some good old fashioned hand to hand hot combat. Who do you disappoint?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Good Monday morning guys and gals. For some reason, I'm in a good mood. Could be because I did my taxes on Friday and it turns out we have enough to go to Disney this year! Yay! Soooooo excited. Just working on getting reservations now. Plus, I just may be the ONLY person that this time change is not bothering. They never bother me and I don't know why.

Anyway, on to what you came here for today. "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Emeril Lagasse wants to lay you down on his stainless steel prep counter and tenderize every inch of your body. (Bam!) Bobby Flay has offered to baste your bare flesh with an orange marmalade beurre blanc sauce and then really get cooking with you. Jamie Oliver just wants to pour on a little olive oil and start feasting. Who would you do?

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Sooooooo, it's Monday again.

Funny how that comes around every 7 days, huh?

Had a rockin' weekend. Post up tomorrow about that.

Here's your Monday morning dose of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

The bad news is that you absolutely suck at gym class. The good news? Two new instructors, Gabrielle Reece and Steffi Graf are eager to help you be all that you can be. Who do you choose?

And as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg