Jaeger Makes You Poot Part 1

Here’s the story of that what went down the weekend we went to Lake Martin, Alabama.

Before we start, I need to let you know of a couple of other potential titles to this blog post. I went with the title above because, well, it’s such a funny statement for anyone to make but someone (Big C) said it. I’m probably gonna get all sorts of “wrong” traffic to this site, but who the hell cares!

Alternative Titles:

Indoor Voice (this is what Big C kept telling Bob to use when he was telling a story)
L Said “Dude” 16 Times (L is not the type to use the word “dude” but he did…16 times)
You Gotta Doodoo? (asked by Big C when B or I had to use the island “potty”)
Spanish Lessons (Bob taught us that when you say the letters S-O-C-K-S, it sorta means, “that is it” or something like that)
Amily (my new name…changed from Amy to Amily which is a combo of my real name and Amy)


Cast of Characters:
B-female friend/neighbor
L-male friend/neighbor, husband of B
Big C-friend of friend/neighbor and host
Bob-Mexican/American friend of Big C
Aubie-dog
Buttermilk-Big C’s dog

L has been friends with Big C for a long time. It’s him we visited. He rents a place out on Lake Martin and has a dock from his yard leading to a tiny island that has a couple of trees and things.

We left on Thursday morning. We actually left twice because we hadn’t even gotten to the neighbors driveway before B & L realized they didn’t have the directions to where we were going. So, we turn around and get the directions. Mom saw the whole thing go down from the front porch and called me on my cell asking if we had fun and she was surprised we came back so soon. After calling her a smartass, we hung up. We got back on the road and the trip down was fine. L drove the whole way down. B and I just chilled in the car. The ride down and the ride back was nothing story worthy, so we’ll just skip ahead to our arrival.

We arrived later in the afternoon. We had stopped at a gas station nearby before we got there so we could get some cold beers for when we got to the house.

Big C comes out and enthusiastically greets us with hugs and kisses.

Before we go further, just know that I can usually size people up pretty quickly after meeting them. I’m rarely surprised and it’s rare that my first impression is wrong. I have been wrong on two occasions (that I know of) and have admitted it to both parties each time with an apology. One was my friend J down in Florida and one was pretty recently. But not Big C.

I’ve known guys like him all my life. Guys like him and I don’t get along. At all. Period. That’s all I’m gonna say on this subject because I like my neighbors and want to stay friends with them. They read this blog.

However, I was raised by a mama that taught me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. Boy, did I have to bite my tongue the whole weekend. I’m surprised I didn’t bite it right off.

So, I kept my mouth shut and just suffered the whole weekend. By keeping quiet (except for the couple of times I just had to react), it did lesson the tension and it saved the weekend for me.

That and the lake itself. And copius amounts of alcohol.

Anyway, after he greeted us, we went inside and got a tour of the place. The house is absolutely beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, etc….The view is even better.



After chit-chatting and doing some catch up, we unpacked and Big C said we were going to go out on the boat.
I quickly grabbed my camera and we headed out. Oh, lord. It was spectacular. The view, the water, the islands, the houses. Absolutely stunning.



The boat ride was relaxing and soothing and thrilling and just a lot of fun. Big C’s dog, Buttermilk, went with us. That is one hell of a dog. I kept teasing Big C the whole weekend about taking his dog. He’s a rescue dog and is just beautiful.



Big C pointed out various houses to us and showed us a $24 million dollar house owned by a guy that’s currently sitting in prison. The boat house alone was bigger than my house and my neighbors COMBINED!



We got off on an island and walked around it for a bit. We went to a local marina to get some gas. B and I went inside the marina to use the potty and to look around. We refreshed our drinks and headed back out.



We stopped by a little cove to take yet another potty break. L is still, to this day, accusing me of killing a tree that I peed behind. He said I caused the water in the lake to rise an inch and that I drowned several small animals.

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

...to be continued....

Later,

Mama Dawg