Thursday, October 23, 2008

The One Where My Mind Went "Shut the Hell Up!"

(edit: found a picture of the cookie! yay me!)

I started a post about time travel yesterday.

I got a good bit done.

Then I started going off on tangents right in the middle of the post. My mind is much faster than my fingers (and I’m a pretty darn fast type-r, just ask my neighbors who call me to come over and type up stuff for them all the time) and I can’t keep up. Even though it’s MY OWN HEAD.

I have these moments of clarity and they’re there for a split second and I amaze the hell out of myself. Then, I get distracted by something as stupid as “what the hell ever happened to those shortbread cookies with the chocolate in the middle that those maddening elves used to make when I was a teenager”.

For real. I actually think about these cookies a lot.

Keebler used to make these shortbread cookies that had melty chocolate in the middle. I could literally consume a whole BAG of these in one sitting when I was a teenager. Along with 2 or 3 caffeine free diet cokes. And never gain an ounce.


(here's the infamous cookies...yummmmmmmmmmmm)

Yeah, karma’s a bitch. Have you SEEN me lately? They came back to haunt my hips and belly. Damn elves.

Then, this thought would lead to a thought such as “remember when you (yes, I talk to myself in my head like this…constantly) used to wake up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming thirst for caffeine free diet coke, so you’d go to the fridge in the middle of the night and consume a whole can while standing naked in front of the fridge where the only light source was the light from inside the refrigerator?”

And yes, when I was a teenager, I slept in the nude. I did this from about 15 til I got pregnant with Light of my Life.

Then that would lead to the thought of Danny Camargo who almost got busted by my mom for coming to my bedroom window to try to catch me sleeping in the nude. Stupid boy. I slept in my bed that was right next to the window with the blinds DOWN and SHUT. Like I’d ever tempt fate like that. Well, maybe once or twice, but still. I slept all burrowed down in the covers like a little hibernating bear.

Then that thought would lead to me remembering how I used to be afraid to sleep with any part of my body (with the exception of my head) out from under the covers. I used to be afraid that something would grab whatever body part was sticking out and drag me under the bed and dismember me and eat me bit by bit.

This fear lasted til well beyond my teen years.

Then that thought would lead to the first horror movie I ever watched. It was "Poltergeist". I was 7. I had an old TV in my room and it was showing on a regular channel one night. It was the one and only time I ever saw that movie. All I remember are a jumble of thoughts. A marionette, a GIANT white ghost like spider, hands and arms coming up out of the ground and then the TV screen going black with that little white start that finally disappears in the middle of the screen.

Then that thought leads to “I recently saw two shooting stars and made a wish”.

Then that leads to “Damn, my wishes never come true”.

Then I had to get up and go to the bathroom and I had a WHOLE slew of new thoughts and forgot ALL of them once I got back to my desk.

All this in the span of like 5 minutes.

No wonder I’m exhausted all the time.

This is the exact reason I like to watch TV and movies and read books.

Oooohhh, “It’s Tricky” by Run DMC just came on my iPod.

Whatever happened to them?

What was that flashing outside?

Who was that that just waved at me through the window?

Where’s my gum?

Did I eat my cookie already?

What the hell did I start off writing about anyway?

Later,

22 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Cocotte

My mind doesn't work nearly as fast as yours. But I do often think of good stuff to blog about, only to completely forget it later.

Vicky

haha! What DID you start writing about??

If I could pick one person's mind to read, it would definately be yours. lol

Jennifer and Sandi

Happens to me all of the time. Darn fingers faster than the brain! We awarded you the MeMe Award today. Go check it out. Great post today!!!

- Jennifer

Pseudonymous High School Teacher

I have to work real hard to keep my mind from running off too. But yours is funnier.

csquaredplus3

I love Run DMC's "It's Tricky" - what memories.

I think all of our minds are noisy. You're okay. Funny.

Momo Fali

That's what happens to me when I lie down to go to sleep...or should I say TRY to go to sleep.

Katie

haha you crack me up! I like how your mind works. :)

I need some cookies now... and I think I'm going to go download a Run DMC album!

Trooper Thorn

That's weird that you think with similar broken thought that...
Wasn't there an episode of "Moonlighting" where Bruce Willis got hit in the head and couldn't keep a straight thought...
And what happened to Cybill Shepherd? Didn't she have a show with that woman from "Mama Mia"?
Greece looked beautiful in that movie...
I need a vacation but there's no way I can afford that...
Ski season starts in a month. Will the kids need new equipment?

Jade, Will and Illy

I think the elves still make those cookies??
I like this random tangent blog entry :D My mind works in much the same fashion, but it jumps around so much that sometimes I forget the important things amidst all the crazy thoughts flying around in there. And I also type fast. And this comment is not really going anywhere. Thanks for the entry today, you made me laugh! :D

Rhea

time travel.

I think those cookies were Magic Middles, and I loved them too. I found them not long ago...I can't remember where...

You're hilarious. Love the train of thought...or the train wreck of thought...

Mama Dawg

Rhea! You nailed it. You're my hero!!!!!!!!! I found a pic of them on the web!

Lula!

It's trick to rock around,
to rock around, that's right on time, it's TRICKY!!!!!!

I love that song. And your non-train of thought. I get you. I feel you. I'm so the same. Apparently it's why I'm tired all the time, too.

Captain Dumbass

I cannot find my GODDAMNED notebook anywhere?! Did I leave it at your place?

Mama Dawg

Nope, sorry. What's it look like? If it has owls on it, I might have it.

Robin

Girl, I swear we could be soul-sisters. I wish I tell my mind to shut the hell up and turn off already!

Great post! Now I want some of those cookies dang it...and a time travel post just started writing itself in my head..by the time I get to the frig though, I'll have forgotten it.. ;-)

sassy stephanie

It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme thas right on time, it's TRICKY....TRICKY TRICKY TRICKY TRICKY.

See I totally work the same way. That song popped into my head and I can't remember what else you were talking about. But, I have this overwhelming urge to go to the kitchen for a cookie.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter

<('(..)')>

I was gonna say more, but you're giving me a headache : ) My mind works the same way.

steenky bee

Um, did I just read your dream? Weren't those cookies magic middles? Wouldn't that be an awesome band name? I didn't take near enough hallucinagens to read your post. You rock. I love that Run DMC song. But not as much as I love you.

Kat

OMG...that is so me. My mind runs in a million directions. All the time. It takes me forever to get to sleep because I am so busy thinking. About what? Who knows. It's just going and going. And I pity anyone that tries to have a conversation with me because I go off on tangents and interrupt because they said something that reminded me of something else...and I can never get where I wanted to go...

Sammanthia

Which is scarier... the fact that all these thoughts started with a cookie, or the fact that I understood each one of them? Hmmm.

Lisa

I so totally do this, it drives my husband crazy. And I think Poltergiest is one of the scariest movies EVER. "Carrie Ann, come into the light"- ohhh, SHIVERRRRR. And then when the house gets sucked into the ground at the end, uck.

Lisa

Oh yeah, I also had to sleep with the bathroom light ON and the closet doors CLOSED after watching Poltergiest- for years this went on.

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