"If I Were A Boy"

I was driving home from work the other day and I heard a new song come on the radio.

It’s very rare that a song resonates with me. I usually just dig a song for it’s catchy lyrics and its sound. I don’t read too much into the meaning of the lyrics. I just recently found out that a song that Cyndi Lauper sings is really about masturbation. Who knew? (Lula , was that you that introduced me to that fact? I think it was.)

There have been a few songs that have connected with me. A few that evoke an emotional response.

One such song is “The Rose” by Bette Midler. As a teenager and even to a degree today, I still have a fear of failing. The song mostly resonates with me because of the fear of failing in love. That’s probably one reason why I have such a hard time hanging on to relationships or at least letting myself go in a relationship. It makes it even doubly hard having a kid and trying to find love (or even just companionship) due to the emotional entanglements it could cause for my daughter.

Another song that has some meaning for me is the song “Again” by Janet Jackson. Although the guy that “belongs” to this song for me was never in love with me and I really wasn’t in love with him, it still brings back memories of all the soul crushing feelings I had for him. He was a senior when I was a sophomore (although I met him the end of my freshman year). I had the most gut wrenching crush on him. Almost obsessive. And he teased and flirted and made out with me but never ever had the same feelings for me. He just used me.

But, in his defense, he never made me any promises and never hinted to me that I would be anything more than what I was. I was a typical girl, though, and I thought that if he spent enough time with me, he would change his mind and fall head over heels in love.

There’s a few others out there as well. But those are the two that stand out.

The new song that I heard on the radio was a song called “If I Were A Boy” by Beyonce.

I’m not really a big Beyonce fan. In fact, it’s a rare song of hers that I actually do like.

I was totally blown away. First of all, unlike most songs today, I could actually understand her lyrics. There was barely any music accompanying it and it really made her vocals stand out.

When I heard the lyrics, it just made me want to jump up and holla!

What I’m taking from the song may not be the original meaning behind the lyrics but, hey, to each his own.

Her song is really about wanting a cheating guy to know how it feels to a girl to have someone cheat on them and break their heart.

How many of us haven’t wanted an ex to know EXACTLY how much they hurt us?

I can remember having screaming fits at my ex because he wouldn’t acknowledge how much he hurt me. He couldn’t even “see” how he hurt me. In his mind, it was something that “just happened” and that I should be okay with it. Well, not okay with it, but not necessarily as upset about it as I was.

If I could have had 5 minutes inside his brain, I hope I would have been able to let him feel the hurt and anger and humiliation he made me feel.

On a lighter note, there have been times in my past that I wish I could be male, for just a day. Well, maybe a little longer than that…only because we’d have to get the whole fascination with the penis part out of the way first. (this is what they mean by penis envy, isn’t it? *wink, wink*

After that, I would love to delve into the mind of a typical male. To find out what makes them tick.

I’ve known enough men in my life that I know that they’re far more mysterious than we joke about them NOT being. There (despite evidence to the contrary) are actual THOUGHTS and IDEAS that are knockin’ around their noggin. Just don’t let them know that. If the typical male found out that some of us thought they were actually deep thinkers, they’d lord it over us for centuries. (Exceptions being Trooper Thorn, LiteralDan and Captain Dumbass, for as we all know, they are NOT typical men)

Now, back to fascinations with penises…..(yeah, I’m not finishing that thought, sorry)

Later,