Tuesday, October 21, 2008

"If I Were A Boy"

I was driving home from work the other day and I heard a new song come on the radio.

It’s very rare that a song resonates with me. I usually just dig a song for it’s catchy lyrics and its sound. I don’t read too much into the meaning of the lyrics. I just recently found out that a song that Cyndi Lauper sings is really about masturbation. Who knew? (Lula , was that you that introduced me to that fact? I think it was.)

There have been a few songs that have connected with me. A few that evoke an emotional response.

One such song is “The Rose” by Bette Midler. As a teenager and even to a degree today, I still have a fear of failing. The song mostly resonates with me because of the fear of failing in love. That’s probably one reason why I have such a hard time hanging on to relationships or at least letting myself go in a relationship. It makes it even doubly hard having a kid and trying to find love (or even just companionship) due to the emotional entanglements it could cause for my daughter.

Another song that has some meaning for me is the song “Again” by Janet Jackson. Although the guy that “belongs” to this song for me was never in love with me and I really wasn’t in love with him, it still brings back memories of all the soul crushing feelings I had for him. He was a senior when I was a sophomore (although I met him the end of my freshman year). I had the most gut wrenching crush on him. Almost obsessive. And he teased and flirted and made out with me but never ever had the same feelings for me. He just used me.

But, in his defense, he never made me any promises and never hinted to me that I would be anything more than what I was. I was a typical girl, though, and I thought that if he spent enough time with me, he would change his mind and fall head over heels in love.

There’s a few others out there as well. But those are the two that stand out.

The new song that I heard on the radio was a song called “If I Were A Boy” by Beyonce.

I’m not really a big Beyonce fan. In fact, it’s a rare song of hers that I actually do like.

I was totally blown away. First of all, unlike most songs today, I could actually understand her lyrics. There was barely any music accompanying it and it really made her vocals stand out.

When I heard the lyrics, it just made me want to jump up and holla!

What I’m taking from the song may not be the original meaning behind the lyrics but, hey, to each his own.

Her song is really about wanting a cheating guy to know how it feels to a girl to have someone cheat on them and break their heart.

How many of us haven’t wanted an ex to know EXACTLY how much they hurt us?

I can remember having screaming fits at my ex because he wouldn’t acknowledge how much he hurt me. He couldn’t even “see” how he hurt me. In his mind, it was something that “just happened” and that I should be okay with it. Well, not okay with it, but not necessarily as upset about it as I was.

If I could have had 5 minutes inside his brain, I hope I would have been able to let him feel the hurt and anger and humiliation he made me feel.

On a lighter note, there have been times in my past that I wish I could be male, for just a day. Well, maybe a little longer than that…only because we’d have to get the whole fascination with the penis part out of the way first. (this is what they mean by penis envy, isn’t it? *wink, wink*

After that, I would love to delve into the mind of a typical male. To find out what makes them tick.

I’ve known enough men in my life that I know that they’re far more mysterious than we joke about them NOT being. There (despite evidence to the contrary) are actual THOUGHTS and IDEAS that are knockin’ around their noggin. Just don’t let them know that. If the typical male found out that some of us thought they were actually deep thinkers, they’d lord it over us for centuries. (Exceptions being Trooper Thorn, LiteralDan and Captain Dumbass, for as we all know, they are NOT typical men)

Now, back to fascinations with penises…..(yeah, I’m not finishing that thought, sorry)


16 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:


Penis fascination...you are cracking me up!

I haven't heard this song by Mrs. Jay-Z, either...but you know I'm running to iTunes now to check it out.

And girl...YES, "She-Bop" is all about love...solo love...self love. Cyndi was shameless in the 80's. I love her.

sassy stephanie

Yeah, I'd love the chance to pee behind the garage.

Haven't heard this song yet.


I used to have thoughts about being a man for a day - but they're gone. Can't explain it.

Even before the Cyndi Lauper song, I referred to you-know-where, as Lula Sunshine. But don't tell anyone. It's private.


I am scarred by the knowledge about She-Bop!


Only Lula would know these things. I say that with love. I had an ex (boyfriend) like your ex too and the fact that he couldn't see that he'd hurt me did more damage than the actual cheating. I don't get people like that .

Jade, Will and Illy

hahaha! Lula sunshine. Learn something new every day.
I like that Beyonce song, too... It's easy to relate to! Have a great day!


Shit. Does this mean that I have to want to be a girl? I don't want to!!!!!! I like being a man...with a penis that I love!


I love LOVE the Rose. I used to have my friend in High School sing that song to me all the time. She was amazing.

Can't get into Beyonce, but now I want to check out this song! :)


Is it strange that I am fascinated by songs that are not what they appear? I did a post last week about euphamisms (Conversations with Katie) - and played Violent Femmes Blister in the Sun - also about masturbation. (Ahh...just think of all the google searches that will be coming your way now)

And getting inot a man's brain? Women are always thinking about 500 different things. But men...one at a time. I remember being in the car with Michael many many moons ago. He had this very contemplative look on his face. And I asked him what he was thinking about. (Naturally, I wanted it to be about me - or about stuff we had going on) And he said - he was thinking about the cool patterns the trees were making against the sky. He was thinking about trees...


I am horrible with hearing the WORDS to songs, any song. Seriously. I could hum the tune, the melody ut ask me for the words, and nope, I can't do it. So I don't know any of the songs you are talking about.

BUT, I can totally relate to wishing THEY (men) could inside our minds once in a while. Vice versa, I too have wished that i could be a man for a short while just to understand THEM better, or more specifically, my husband, better.

Jennifer and Sandi

Can we try on penis'???? I'd like a Size 8 please!

- Jennifer

Captain Dumbass

The penis fascination doesn't go away. Um...or at least that's what I hear.


I can't imagine having something hanging between my legs. It just seems awkward. That having been said, I envy their ease of peeing wherever they want.

I haven't heard this new Beyonce song, but I may have to listen to it now.

It's so good to have you back, Mama Dawg!

Swirl Girl

I thank god I am a girl and have two girl children.

I have a 48 year old penis I am still at odds with - what the hell would I do with a little one.*

*not that Hubby's is gigantor or anything - but certainly rises to the occasion.


Holy crap! I almost spit Coke at my monitor after reading Swirl Girl's comment!!!!!!


Thanks for what I think is a compliment, but I can promise you you'll need more than a day to get over the penis obsession.

I'm at 27 years and counting.

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