Decision 2008

Guys, I just can't make up my mind.

I've been racking my brain for so long now on which way to go.

It's been driving me crazy with the choices that have been presented to me.

Do I go with something I've been through before and has proven to serve me well?

Or...do I go with change?

I like change.

But there's something just so comforting about the old.

It's secure. It's the evil I know.

But change....I've always liked change. I like mixing it up. I like seeing something new.

So, I've put it to you, oh mighty bloggy land.

Whatever the majority of you decide for me, I'll go that way.

Pinky swear.

I will let YOU help me decide.

Canadians can play along. I don't discriminate.

Republican or Democrat, I don't care.

Black or white, doesn't matter to me.

Just give me your opinion on this very important life changing decision I must make.





Which TV show on DVD should I watch next...Rescue Me or Mad Men?

See, I've seen Rescue Me before. I watched the whole first 2 seasons, but then due to life getting in the way, I let it fall of my radar. I have the first 3 seasons on DVD and there's just something about Denis Leary that makes me all squishy inside. His blunt talk, his obvious WTF attitude, his voice.

But, I have Mad Men on DVD. And I've been hearing so many wonderful things about this show. I've never seen it before and would like to give it a try. I love that the setting is in the 60's and that it doesn't gloss over the ugly.

So, what is a girl to do?

Let me know in the comments.

And...thanks.

Later,



P.S. You totally thought I was going somewhere else with this, didn't you? You should know better by now. Silly gooses (or geeses? geesi?).

Breakable

Wow.

That’s a long way down.

I mean, a really long way down.

I hope no one bumps me.

I’m bottom heavy, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

Still…..it’s a long way down.

I’ve never been thisclose to the edge before.

It’s scary.

I’m breakable, you know.

In so many ways.

I could break into a million pieces.

I’m THAT fragile.

Yet…I’m strong.

I have to be.

In order to do what I do, I have to be.

I have to hold a lot in.

If I fall and break, things could get messy.

Someone could get hurt.

I hope no one bumps me.

It’s a long way down.



This post was brought to you by me for Mama's Losin' It's Writer's Workshop. If you want to read more awesome posts, click here.

Later,

"We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off"

Guys, I'll be honest. I got nuttin'.

So, I'll do a repost. Since most of you haven't been around since the beginning, this is like a whole new post.

So, I'm not gonna apologize.

Enjoy!

Remember roller-skating? For those of you that grew up in the 80’s, that is. Forget that rollerblading crap. I’m talking old school, dirt brown skates with orange wheels and ratty laces that you had to rent at the skating rink (unless you were lucky, as I was when I got older, enough to have your own pair of black speed skates with white racing stripes and red wheels…man, I was so hot back then!).

I’m at work listening to a c.d. called 80’s Club and “Fresh” by Kool & the Gang came on. It brought me back to my own skating years.

I lived in Jackson, MS at the time. I started going to the skating rink when I was about 8 and I ended up moving out of state when I was 11 but for those 3 years, I lived at the skating rink.

Once I turned 10, mom would take me and Jennifer Anderson and anyone else in our “group” to Fun Time Skate. She would drop us off (around 6:30 or so) and we would act all “cool” waiting in line to pay to enter the hallowed skating ground (otherwise known at Fun Time). Man, the fashions alone are enough to make you scream. Off the shoulder torn sweatshirts (a la Flashdance) and mini skirts (yes, even while skating) and Thriller t-shirts and parachute pants (I was the proud owner of a red pair and even wore a bandana tied above the knee just like Mike….Michael Jackson that is). Fluorescent socks, high top Converse, ribbed tank tops, big belts, and bigger hair.

I can remember listening to songs like “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jermaine Stewart, “Let the Music Play” by Shannon, “Sign Your Name” and “Wishing Well” by Terence Tent D’Arby, “Looking For a New Love” by Jodi Watley, “Oh, Sheila” by Ready for the World, “Every Little Step” by Bobby Brown, “Rhythm of the Night” by DeBarge, anything by Michael Jackson or Madonna.

We would get all excited when “Thriller” was played because the D.J. would turn off all the lights except for the disco ball in the center. We (the girls) would all get “scared” and would gravitate towards wherever the boys were in hopes that they would “protect” us but in reality would be the ones scaring the hell out of us in the dark.

They would have races for the speed skaters and we would do the “Hokey Pokey” and at the end of the song, an employee (usually some pimply faced sullen teenager) would throw out a bunch of pennies on the skating floor (can we spell L-A-W-S-U-I-T?!?!?!?) and we would all scramble grab as many pennies as possible. They had a vending machine that would give out those huge powdery sour balls for a penny.

I can remember being fascinated with ball bearings and wanting to follow the wall around the skating floor looking for ball bearings and any money that would fall out of skaters pockets.

We would get a slice of really crappy pizza and some blue colored ice cream and a soda. I can remember always being fascinated with the older girls that were always hanging out in the bathroom and sneaking cigarettes and putting on make up.

I had a boyfriend one time that went skating with me. His name was David Barlow and he had the biggest brown eyes on the face of the earth. He was beautiful. He looked so cute one night at the skating rink with his sweatband holding back his feathered hair and his torn yellow sweatshirt and torn tight jeans. Really, can we bring those fashions back? Like right now?

I always thought I was so cool because I could skate backwards and do that thing where you crouched down to skate and when you went around the curves, you would slide your right foot all the way out (potentially tripping someone behind you) to coast the curves. I can remember trying to jump up or down off the carpeted floor on to the skating floor.

Man, that was good times.

Later,

Slow Kisses Against A Car Door

I’ve been kissing boys since I was 11. I got my first kiss from Chipper McMahon. Like Charlie Brown with his elusive little red-haired girl, Chipper was my little red-haired boy.

I crushed on him so hard from first grade til even after I moved away to Florida.

A couple of weeks before I moved, Chipper, my friend Jennifer Anderson, Michael Reulet and I all went to Sykes Park to have a final farewell get together. I was right at the precipice of teen-age-hood but not quite there yet.

We all kinda sorta liked each other. I still had a massive crush on Chipper, but Michael and I had “gone together” earlier that year and there were still some residual feelings. Jennifer, I think, liked Chipper and maybe was a little interested in Michael, but it was clear from the time we got there that there was going to be some competition between Chipper and Michael for my affections that night.

There was a playground there that had a slide. It was one of those that had the plastic tube around it but it went straight, it didn’t curve. I remember that we decided that we would all sit behind one another (spooning, for a visual, if you need it, except sitting up, not laying down) and then lay down to go down the slide. I can still clearly feel the thrill of having Michael’s head in my lap and having my head in Chipper’s but not really understanding why I was feeling that way. It was innocent fun, nothing remotely sexual, but that was the first time I can remember having “those” feelings.

Later, when it got dark, we decided to sit down and play spin the bottle. We were pretty much the only ones at the park at that time.

We found a bottle laying around and that’s when I got my first kiss. It was one of those real quick-blink-and-you-miss-it situations. I know that the more we played, the bolder we got. Michael and Chipper kept egging each other to “slip ‘em the tongue”. I can remember getting flushed but not really understanding what would happen if they did that. I was alternately repulsed but at the same time, intrigued.

I do remember Jennifer out-right refusing to do that and even though I verbally agreed, inside I can remember kinda hoping it would happen just to see what it was like.

I then moved to Florida and received my first French kiss from Pat Petito. I was 12 and I can remember being sooooo nervous. I also remember what a shit he was about it.

He had been teasing me for days about giving me my first French kiss and in between bouts of wanting to puke my guts out, I was anxious.

Like I said, he was a total shit about it. I lived near enough to the school to walk and it was a frequent hang out spot for kids after the teachers and students had left for the day. I was there with a friend and he was there with a friend. They had ridden their bikes up to the school but Heather and I had walked.

He had me pressed up against the brick wall outside of the seventh grade classrooms. I had my arms pressed against the wall and was so anxious. He leaned in close, put his lips to mine and SQUIRTED WATER in my mouth. I was totally humiliated. I slapped him and ran all the way home with Heather chasing me all the way there. I could hear him laughing while I was running.

For whatever reason, I forgave him and he finally fulfilled his promise by going full throttle with the kiss.

Yeah, I should have waited for someone else. It was slobbery and awkward and just gross. I can remember thinking “I waited for THIS?”

However, after I got rid of him and moved on to better boys, the kissing got much better.

I still had a few duds along the way but for the most part, they were pleasant and dreamy and wonderful.

I liked kissing. I liked the feelings of having my eyes closed while we did things with our lips and tongues that some of my girlfriends hadn’t experienced.

As much as I enjoyed kissing, I was not prepared for Brandon Delledonne.

In high school, I was a wrestlerette. This was kind of a wrestling cheerleader but we went beyond cheering for the wrestlers. We set up the gym, got our chosen guys bags filled with their favorite kinds of candy or snacks or drinks. We decorated and encouraged and whatnot.

Part of our duties were to walk in the opposing teams wrestlers and then walk in our own team.

Brandon was a wrestler from another school. I was the one that lead his school in at one of our matches.

We flirted and talked and whatnot. I was 16 when I met him. Over the next two years, we would see each other at wrestling matches but we never hooked up. The timing was never right. Either he had a girlfriend (who was always in the stands) or I had a boyfriend.

When I turned 18, I started going “clubbing” with my friend Mimi (from the Drug Mule story). We used to go to a club called “The Embassy” EVERY Saturday night.

One night was while I was dancing my ass off, I spotted Brandon through the crowd. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year. I went over to him and said hi. He remembered me and we talked for a while. For the first time since we had known each other, we were both single. We exchanged numbers and that was that, or so I thought.

Well, he called. And asked me if I wanted to go out and do something. I said sure. He lived about 30 minutes away but decided to make the drive out to where I lived. Instead of going out, we decided to rent a movie and get Taco Bell for dinner. We stayed in at my house. My mom retreated to her bedroom and closed her door to give us some privacy.

We ate our Taco Bell and sort of half assed watched the movie. I kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye and we would do those little touchy things. You know what I mean…arm around the shoulder, finger making circles on his thigh, him rubbing my arm, me laying my head on his shoulder, etc….

I remember when it was time for him to head out, I walked him outside. I can remember that I was barefoot and wearing jeans.

We got to my car and he gently pushed me back against my door. He leaned in for our first kiss. I was anxious but ready all the same.

You know how you read about feeling electricity shoot from your connected lips all the way down to your “spot”?

Yeah, that’s what it was like. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing a really truly passionate kiss. One that had me pressing my entire body against his. One that had me fumbling for naked flesh under his shirt. One that almost made me have an orgasm OUTSIDE UP AGAINST MY CAR DOOR. Completely clothed and just with his lips touching mine.

It was that good.

I couldn’t get enough.

I was hungry for him.

Unfortunately, he had to leave me high and dry (well, not really, if you know what I mean) because he had to leave right then to get home in time to get some sleep before work the next day.

We “dated” for the next couple of weeks, but except for the kissing (and almost but not quite other stuff), we didn’t really have much in common.

The relationship, as it were, didn’t last long.

But to this day, I can still remember that kiss.

And to this day, I’ve not had another like that. Sigh…………

Anyone ever had one of those?

Later,

Brief Update on Jesse

"Who Would You Do" can be found here.

Wow, yesterday was very interesting.

Mom and I were heading out to go run errands on Sunday while light of my life was hanging out with the neighborhood "gang". It was a beautiful day and while mom was getting ready to leave, I decided to take Jesse out of his cage and let him get some fresh air outside.

In the past when I've gotten him out, I always gently toss him to the grass so he could get use to the outdoors in case he decides to ever leave us.

Normally when I do this, he immediately starts making a beeline for my feet so he can crawl up my body to perch on my shoulder like a little parrot (he appears to have some sort of identity crisis...where do you go to get squirrels some psychiatric help?).

This time, he just stood there for the longest time. I started to slowly approach him when he all of a sudden took off like a shot...in the opposite direction! He ran about 5 feet up the large oak tree we have in our yard.

He circled it a couple of times and then came to me and crawled up my arm. However, as we approached the house, he scampered down my body and crawled up another tree. ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!!

Now, I had been seeing signs of restlessness in him for the past two weeks or so. He had been doing flips in his cage and when I would take him out, he was all crazy like running up and down my body and scrabbling on my neck and shoulders. I knew something was going on with him but I couldn't figure out exactly what it was.

Now I know. He was wanting his freedom.

So, with a sad yet happy heart, I wished him good luck and we left to run our errands. Before we left, I brought his cage outside and left it open, just in case he decided to come back.

When we came back from running our errands, I immediately went to the tree where I saw him last and couldn't find him anywhere. I walked the perimeter of the yard looking for a squirrel carcass (we have several dogs that roam loosely between three houses and they're not exactly known as humane dogs when it comes to animals smaller than themselves) and looking up in trees but didn't see any signs of Jesse.

We went on with our evening. We ate dinner, watched Amazing Race and Cold Case. While light of my life was in her bath, mom took Max outside to let him do his bidness when she came running in saying "It's Jesse, he's back. Max has him treed."

Sure enough, when I went outside and went to the tree where Max was frantically circling, there he was. He was low down enough that I could reach him if I raised my arms up. He sniffed my fingers and let me pet him but wasn't exactly coming to me with open arms if you know what I mean.

I stood there for another couple of minutes and he eventually walked into my hands and up to my shoulder (see, there's that parrot complex again) and nuzzled my ear.

I got some fresh bedding for his cage and a new bowl of food. He greedily ate his sunflower seeds and then snuggled in for the night.

Light of my life had been very understanding when I told her that Jesse had decided to leave us (she got that panicked look in her eye when I told her I had to talk to her about Jesse....poor thing has experienced so many people and animals dying in the past year) but lit up when I told her that he came back!

I've decided that for now, I'm just going to keep him in the cage during the day while I'm at work and when I get home, I'll let him go and we'll see if he keeps coming back.

I'm not gonna force the issue either way. We'll just let it happen organically.

In other news, Max is fattening up quite nicely. I can still feel his ribs when I run my fingers down his sides, but his little belly is filling out and fat has settled in that area on his back to where his spine isn't so sharp. He's starting to get playful with us and is pretty much housebroken. We haven't had an accident in over a week. He's real good about letting us know when he wants/needs to go outside. Of course, any time the door is opened, he thinks its an invitation to go outside. But, that's all right. He comes right back when you call him, so it's not a problem yet.

Anything interesting happen to any of you this weekend?

Later,

Who Would You Do?

And a GOOD MONDAY MORNING to you! I'm rewarding all you good people with two, count 'em, two posts today!

It's time once again for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Which of these movie moments would you want to participate in: Any sex scene from The Big Easy with Ellen Barkin and Dennis Quaid, Jason Biggs and the pastry from American Pie, the bit in Ghost when Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore make out at the pottery wheel, the tabletop scene in The Postman Always Rings Twice with Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange or the menage a trois with Matt Dillon, Denise Richards and Neve Campbell in Wild Things?

And remember:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,



P.S. I'll totally be judging you on your answers to this and will do one of the following:

A. Make fun of your choice behind your back
B. Admire you for your bold choice
C. Stalk you like that creep from that movie, you know which one I'm talking about, you know that creepy stalker guy? Because your choice is JUST.THAT.AWESOME.
D. All of the above.

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta

(click on the picture to get the full detailed view...it's awesome!)

Here's my entry for this week. This was taken at Disney World in May of 2007. We were at Ariel's Grotto and I just happened to catch this just right.

I love Disney. And I love this picture.

Wanna join in on the fun?

Hop on over to Candid Carrie's. You won't regret it!

Later,

The One Where My Mind Went "Shut the Hell Up!"

(edit: found a picture of the cookie! yay me!)

I started a post about time travel yesterday.

I got a good bit done.

Then I started going off on tangents right in the middle of the post. My mind is much faster than my fingers (and I’m a pretty darn fast type-r, just ask my neighbors who call me to come over and type up stuff for them all the time) and I can’t keep up. Even though it’s MY OWN HEAD.

I have these moments of clarity and they’re there for a split second and I amaze the hell out of myself. Then, I get distracted by something as stupid as “what the hell ever happened to those shortbread cookies with the chocolate in the middle that those maddening elves used to make when I was a teenager”.

For real. I actually think about these cookies a lot.

Keebler used to make these shortbread cookies that had melty chocolate in the middle. I could literally consume a whole BAG of these in one sitting when I was a teenager. Along with 2 or 3 caffeine free diet cokes. And never gain an ounce.


(here's the infamous cookies...yummmmmmmmmmmm)

Yeah, karma’s a bitch. Have you SEEN me lately? They came back to haunt my hips and belly. Damn elves.

Then, this thought would lead to a thought such as “remember when you (yes, I talk to myself in my head like this…constantly) used to wake up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming thirst for caffeine free diet coke, so you’d go to the fridge in the middle of the night and consume a whole can while standing naked in front of the fridge where the only light source was the light from inside the refrigerator?”

And yes, when I was a teenager, I slept in the nude. I did this from about 15 til I got pregnant with Light of my Life.

Then that would lead to the thought of Danny Camargo who almost got busted by my mom for coming to my bedroom window to try to catch me sleeping in the nude. Stupid boy. I slept in my bed that was right next to the window with the blinds DOWN and SHUT. Like I’d ever tempt fate like that. Well, maybe once or twice, but still. I slept all burrowed down in the covers like a little hibernating bear.

Then that thought would lead to me remembering how I used to be afraid to sleep with any part of my body (with the exception of my head) out from under the covers. I used to be afraid that something would grab whatever body part was sticking out and drag me under the bed and dismember me and eat me bit by bit.

This fear lasted til well beyond my teen years.

Then that thought would lead to the first horror movie I ever watched. It was "Poltergeist". I was 7. I had an old TV in my room and it was showing on a regular channel one night. It was the one and only time I ever saw that movie. All I remember are a jumble of thoughts. A marionette, a GIANT white ghost like spider, hands and arms coming up out of the ground and then the TV screen going black with that little white start that finally disappears in the middle of the screen.

Then that thought leads to “I recently saw two shooting stars and made a wish”.

Then that leads to “Damn, my wishes never come true”.

Then I had to get up and go to the bathroom and I had a WHOLE slew of new thoughts and forgot ALL of them once I got back to my desk.

All this in the span of like 5 minutes.

No wonder I’m exhausted all the time.

This is the exact reason I like to watch TV and movies and read books.

Oooohhh, “It’s Tricky” by Run DMC just came on my iPod.

Whatever happened to them?

What was that flashing outside?

Who was that that just waved at me through the window?

Where’s my gum?

Did I eat my cookie already?

What the hell did I start off writing about anyway?

Later,

Jesse Taking A Bath

Here's Jesse taking his first bath. Of course I had to video it...I am, after all, a proud mama.

Enjoy.

I'm still working on Light of My Life's answer videos. They'll be back soon.

Later,

Mama Dawg

"If I Were A Boy"

I was driving home from work the other day and I heard a new song come on the radio.

It’s very rare that a song resonates with me. I usually just dig a song for it’s catchy lyrics and its sound. I don’t read too much into the meaning of the lyrics. I just recently found out that a song that Cyndi Lauper sings is really about masturbation. Who knew? (Lula , was that you that introduced me to that fact? I think it was.)

There have been a few songs that have connected with me. A few that evoke an emotional response.

One such song is “The Rose” by Bette Midler. As a teenager and even to a degree today, I still have a fear of failing. The song mostly resonates with me because of the fear of failing in love. That’s probably one reason why I have such a hard time hanging on to relationships or at least letting myself go in a relationship. It makes it even doubly hard having a kid and trying to find love (or even just companionship) due to the emotional entanglements it could cause for my daughter.

Another song that has some meaning for me is the song “Again” by Janet Jackson. Although the guy that “belongs” to this song for me was never in love with me and I really wasn’t in love with him, it still brings back memories of all the soul crushing feelings I had for him. He was a senior when I was a sophomore (although I met him the end of my freshman year). I had the most gut wrenching crush on him. Almost obsessive. And he teased and flirted and made out with me but never ever had the same feelings for me. He just used me.

But, in his defense, he never made me any promises and never hinted to me that I would be anything more than what I was. I was a typical girl, though, and I thought that if he spent enough time with me, he would change his mind and fall head over heels in love.

There’s a few others out there as well. But those are the two that stand out.

The new song that I heard on the radio was a song called “If I Were A Boy” by Beyonce.

I’m not really a big Beyonce fan. In fact, it’s a rare song of hers that I actually do like.

I was totally blown away. First of all, unlike most songs today, I could actually understand her lyrics. There was barely any music accompanying it and it really made her vocals stand out.

When I heard the lyrics, it just made me want to jump up and holla!

What I’m taking from the song may not be the original meaning behind the lyrics but, hey, to each his own.

Her song is really about wanting a cheating guy to know how it feels to a girl to have someone cheat on them and break their heart.

How many of us haven’t wanted an ex to know EXACTLY how much they hurt us?

I can remember having screaming fits at my ex because he wouldn’t acknowledge how much he hurt me. He couldn’t even “see” how he hurt me. In his mind, it was something that “just happened” and that I should be okay with it. Well, not okay with it, but not necessarily as upset about it as I was.

If I could have had 5 minutes inside his brain, I hope I would have been able to let him feel the hurt and anger and humiliation he made me feel.

On a lighter note, there have been times in my past that I wish I could be male, for just a day. Well, maybe a little longer than that…only because we’d have to get the whole fascination with the penis part out of the way first. (this is what they mean by penis envy, isn’t it? *wink, wink*

After that, I would love to delve into the mind of a typical male. To find out what makes them tick.

I’ve known enough men in my life that I know that they’re far more mysterious than we joke about them NOT being. There (despite evidence to the contrary) are actual THOUGHTS and IDEAS that are knockin’ around their noggin. Just don’t let them know that. If the typical male found out that some of us thought they were actually deep thinkers, they’d lord it over us for centuries. (Exceptions being Trooper Thorn, LiteralDan and Captain Dumbass, for as we all know, they are NOT typical men)

Now, back to fascinations with penises…..(yeah, I’m not finishing that thought, sorry)

Later,

Who Would You Do?

Good Monday morning all you beautiful, beautiful internet people.

I just want to take a second to thank everyone that was concerned about my whereabouts. It's nice to feel so loved (and missed).

It's time once again for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest)

You are invited to a menage a trois with Felix and Oscar or Laverne and Shirley. Who’s it gonna be?

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Pick wisely folks, lest you be judged.

Later,

Hello, Hello, Turn Your Radio On

$50 million dollars to anyone who can name the group that sang that song.

No, wait, just kidding. All you'll get is a resounding "Wow, so there's actually 2 people who know that song and group. Cool!"

Did y'all miss me?

I know you did. Admit it. You missed me. Just a little, right?

Ahhhhhh....I knew you did.

Wanna know what happened?

It's boring really.

One day last week, my computer gets a virus. It took them 2 DAYS to get a new one set up for me. Why a new one? Well, the contaminated one was old and I needed a new one anyway. Since that was the case, they had to put on all the programs and whatnot on the new one and for some reason, they're really, really slow.

Luckily, they had a spare for me to use, but I was too terrified to go anywhere on the 'net since I didn't know where the virus came from.

It got up and running on Wednesday. I started making my blog rounds and on the SAME DAMN blog that I had visited last before it crashed the first time, it crashed AGAIN.

All I can guess is that my 'puter got a virus from a blog. Is that possible? It was a rootkit virus (or something like that).

It took them a whole day (Friday) to get it back to it's pre-virus condition. I was off of work on Thursday due to a field trip with Light of My Life. We went gambling...kidding! We did go to a casino town, but we went to a museum instead.

So, I'm back. Kinda. I'm sorta terrified to blog again while at work since I don't know what happened or if I did contract the virus from a blog. Maybe it was from an e-mail in my personal account since I keep multiple applications running throughout the day (e-mail, blogs, Disney trivia site, etc...)

I hate being poor and not having a computer at home. I hate not having money. I'm not talking about not having money like "I don't have enough money to buy that Grande Mocha w/no fat whip, blah, blah, blah from Starbucks". I mean I hate not having money like "Which bill do I not pay this month in order to keep my electricity turned on for the next 30 days? Which facility cashes their checks really, really late so I can "float" a check here and I'll get paid before they cash it".

Yeah, that's the kind of poor I am.

So, no home 'puter for me. Even if I had a 'puter, I dont' have the money to pay for the internet service.

So.damn.frustrating.

And, to top it off, Captain Dumbass of Us and Them asked me to guest post on his blog today and I couldn't due to the stupid VIRUS! My first ever invite to guest post. As fast as word gets on the 'net, it's probably already gotten out around "town" that I'm a bad guest and I'll never be invited back. I don't blame them.

I'm currently at my neighbors house using their computer. They let me use it any time I want to. They're cool like that. Shout out to L, B and the girls!

Peeps, so much has happened in this past week.

For real.

No, not really.

I made the local paper. Or, more accurately, Jesse the squirrel made the local paper. I submitted a photo and a little blurb about him and they used my photo (in COLOR, no less) and put it in!

We're so famous! Whoo, hoo!

Oh, and Light of my life did Jr. Cheer camp at school and cheered and danced in Friday nights game! She kicked ASS! She rocks! I'm so proud of her.

Let's see, what else happened? I know something else happened. Just can't put my finger on it.

Oh, wait, I remember.....

Meet Max.



Whoops, sorry. That's not Max. That's just me doing my Daniel-son impression with a green grosgrain ribbon with white polka dots. Very macho.



Nope, still not Max. That's just Light of My Life making fun of me from the pic above. Silly girl.



Ahhhhh....there's my Max.



There he is again.



And...yet again.

Isn't he adorable?

What you can't see in the pics is the fact that when I found him, I could LITERALLY STICK THE ENTIRE TOP HALF OF MY FINGERTIP IN BETWEEN HIS RIBS!!!

Yeah, that's how emaciated he was. Someone has been horribly neglecting this poor puppy. He was so starved for love and food and water.

I found him out near my deceased great aunt's old place.

I took one look at him, pulled over and stuck him in the car and never looked back.

I did this on Wednesday.

Today's Saturday.

I am happy to announce that I can no longer stick half of my fingertip in between his ribs.

He's happy, he's loved, he's getting fat, he's loved, he's getting watered, he's getting loved...did I mention he's getting loved?

Loved from Light of my Life, loved from my mom and most of all, loved by me.

He is the sweetest soul I've ever met.

My neighbor used to raise dogs and he put him at about 6-8 months old and states he seems pretty healthy for being so malnourished.

He also said he's gonna get between 50-60 pounds.

Yikes!

I know, I know. I just got finished saying I have no money.

But how can you resist?

Seriously, how?

I can't. I couldn't.

So....I didn't.

Now, I have a menagerie.

But...that's my life.

And I like it.

And I'm glad I'm back. I missed you guys!

Happy Saturday night y'all!

Later,

And...Action, Take 3

Here's the third installment of my interview with Light of My Life.

Enjoy!

Sorry I wasn't around earlier. I broke my work computer (not really) and they're having to rebuild it. So, no internet today!

Maybe tomorrow!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

Ok, guys and gals, boys and girls, Jims and Sals. Here's your Monday Morning "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest)

"Three saucy Aussies, Hugh Jackman, Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe are available for the following amorous activities: a fun-filled day on a nude beach with a Polaroid camera, an indecent weekend in the wine country or two weeks in the outback making love among the livestock. Who do you pick for each adventure?#

This one is a little different. You're not picking one person, you're picking one person PER adventure. Look at my comment to see how to do it.

#click on each picture to see some fine looking gents.


*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta

Know what makes me happy?

Friends visiting.

I supplied a safe haven recently to some friends from New Orleans when Gustav was threatening to hit the Gulf Coast.



Here's the sign announcing their hotel location. My mom and daughter made these and posted them on either side of our mailbox. Forgive the big black blah in your face. It's covering up our address. (However, Trooper Thorn, you're more than welcome to get my address and come visit me! I'll even have you a warm bed ready *wink, wink*)



Here's a driveway full of cars. This makes my heart happy.



This is my favorite pic of all. A towel rack full of towels. It means lots and lots of people in my house.

I love having my friends visit. I love having a full house (only cause I know at some point, they'll leave!).

I miss you guys! Come back soon!

If you wanna join in more foto festivities, go check out Candid Carrie!

Later,

Intolerance, Ignorance and Ingratitude

(For the record, I'm neither an Obama or a McCain supporter...I believe both are full of shit)

Sigh…my friends *wink, wink*.

My heart and head hurts.

I love to read blogs. I truly do.

But my heart and head is hurting since this whole election, schmelection thing started.

I don’t mind reading those blogs that can write a thought provoking, well written post about the candidates.

I can’t handle the ones that do everything in their power to announce EXACTLY why they hate either candidate.

I don’t like the ones where they basically tell the reader they’re stupid if they don’t vote this way or that.

I don’t like the ones where the commenters get all asshatty.

There are certain basic perceptions regarding both parties. In a GENERAL SENSE, Democrats are usually known to be passionate, TOLERANT people who believe in fairness and giving people a chance. While Republicans are not.

Yet, it’s Obama supporters that seem to have the most hate filled posts. Vile, filthy, disgusting things are said about the presidential and vice-presidential candidates. More so on Sarah Palin than any other.

This makes my heart hurt. Not because it’s Republicans that they’re vilifying.

But because it’s a HUMAN BEING that they’re saying all these things about. I’m not talking about the ones who point out exactly why she’s not qualified (believe me, I don’t think she is either). I respect and can even get behind most of the reasons.

I’m talking about the ones that talk smack about her knocked up kid. Like it’s her fault a 17-year-old teenage girl in a small town got knocked up despite her teachings and beliefs. Ummmm…..she’s a teenager with her own mind. Just ‘cause you preach it, doesn’t mean they accept it.

I’m not going to go into other examples. It makes me sick.

And, yes, the reverse is true. People say hate filled things about Obama, too. But it wasn’t an overnight issue like it is with Palin. Hatred for Obama happened over time. With Palin, it happened sooooo quickly.

I’m also tired of all the ones that paint Obama to be this Muslim terrorist cult minded African American (I REFUSE to use the word that I’ve seen floating around….to me, that’s far worse than the C word that people use to describe women) who will bring this country shame.

Cause you know what? It’s not true. I think he’ll make a fine leader. Just as he is. Not in spite of or despite his life or ethnicity or upbringing.

I don’t agree with a lot of his policies. But, do I believe he’ll bring this country down?

No.

I don’t believe this of McCain either.

As far as ignorance goes?

I live in a very tiny town in Mississippi.

Where it’s still common to hear people use the “N” word in a casual setting.

Where the kids pick up the use of this word and say it.

I have NEVER used this word. I loathe this word. I think it’s the most vile and destructive word that you can use against a person. No matter who says it.

I teach my daughter not to use it. It was said in my house one time and I politely but firmly announced that we don’t use that word.

My daughter came home the other day and announced that when she was riding the bus home, the kids (ages 4-18) were discussing the upcoming presidential race and about 90% of the bus was voting for McCain (if they could vote).

This didn’t surprise me given where I live.

What did surprise me?

My daughter actually stood up and said that she would vote for Obama if she could.

I was so proud of her. Mostly cause she was standing her ground. And partly cause she was being a rebel.

But then, it lead to a girl on her bus saying that if Obama becomes president, he would make all the women in the United States wear clothes that covered their entire bodies except for their eyes and would also make the women walk 6 inches behind their husbands all the time. Who are these parents that are so uninformed that they let their kids believes all this crap?

I was literally speechless.

To think that there are people that STILL believe he’s a Muslim.

That they don’t believe he’s a Christian just like THEM.

I quickly and firmly informed my daughter that one, that’s absolute bullshit and two, the president doesn’t have that kind of power.

I even gave her permission to call “bullshit” if she ever hears it again.

I’m joking…kinda.

A kid also told her that they don’t like Halloween because it’s the devil’s birthday.

Seriously? It’s 2008. Use a computer, google the history of Halloween for f*ck’s sake.

It makes my head and heart hurt to hear this.

As for ingratitude?

I love reading and hearing people say that if McCain gets voted into office that they’re moving to Canada or anywhere outside of the US.

Seriously? Really, for reals?

If you’re serious, then please do. That would solve so many problems.

It would free up jobs for the jobless to get.

It would give me the opportunity to snake one of your jobs that pays more than mine currently does and live a better life.

I would love to see someone actually do this. I would love to see a news article that has an interview from someone who recently moved to Canada or Barbados or Sweden who said “I left because McCain was voted in as President”.

That would make my day.

If you’re not gonna do it, don’t tease.

It’s mean.

'Cause when you get down to it, despite all the problems our country has, we still have freedom. You know how I know that's true? It's true because if we weren't, there would be no blogs spouting off all those asshatty, vile, disgusting things they're saying about the candidates. And, that, for some reason, still makes us the best country in the world.

If you wanna leave a comment, be nice. Even if you’re calling me out on something. Cause if you get nasty, well, I don’t delete it, but I’ll post it and write about it.

Oh, for a more tolerant world.

And yes, I know I'm being intolerant for not tolerating asshates. If you wanna delete me off your blogroll or not read me anymore, I'll understand. Just keep in mind that I will still read you. No matter your views. Cause I don't hold crap like that against people.

So sue me.

Later,

And...Action, Take 2

Here she is, once again in all her glory, to answer more questions from my readers. Enjoy!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Divorce (a repost)

This is a semi-repost. I've deleted some stuff that had nothing to do with the story (it was written for a specific person to read and I've just deleted the stuff that mentions that person).

Rhea over at Texas Word Tangle and a few others have requested my divorce story, so here it is.

I met my ex when I was 21 in a bar in New Orleans. He was a Marine. 'Nuff said.





Oh, you want more?

We met, fell in lust, made a baby, got married, got divorced.

That's the short story.





Oh, you still want more?

We met in a bar in downtown N'awlins and discovered we really, really dug each other. I actually had been hooking up with his roommate that night...well, I was really hooking up with both of them, but when it came time to give up the old phone number, I chose my ex. He kissed better.

We got to talking and dating and somehow fell into a relationship. I had never been in a serious relationship before and I thought I loved him but in retrospect, I didn't. Not really. I did have strong feelings for him.

We weren't the most careful when it came to sex and well, you can guess what happened next.

We met on Mother's Day and I discovered I was pregnant by July. It turns out, we probably made light of my life on my birthday. How cool is that? I felt something was wrong since I had missed my period at least once and I am like clockwork when it comes to stuff like that.

I went to the doctor (who stupidly asked me why I needed a pregnancy test...ummm...because I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant?) who confirmed via phone a few days later, that yes, indeed, I was pregnant.

After the initial "Oh, shit" moment, I called my ex and told him over the phone. We knew it was a possibility and he was pretty cool about the whole thing.

We had the big discussion on marriage vs. waiting. I knew I was going to keep the baby (abortion wasn't an option, not because I'm against it, but because I wanted to keep the baby) but I wasn't sure about keeping the ex.

My parents are divorced and I wasn't 100% on board with marriage as an institution. Due to the hormonal flow and criticism from outsiders, I "fell" for his line of taking a leap of faith and trusting that marriage and kids was what he really wanted.

We got married in the courthouse when I was 5 months pregnant. I remember the day of my wedding, I wanted to back out. It took 20 minutes of convincing before I gave in...again.

We got married and about 2 months later, he drove his car into a canal while drunk. His car was totaled and he was upside down on his loan. He was a total shit about the whole thing. The night of the accident, he was crying and blubbering that he was so sorry and he was so afraid of disappointing his PARENTS...not me, his very pregnant wife, but his PARENTS whom he hadn't lived with in years. So, now he was dependent on me to get him to work, stores, etc....About a month after that, I discovered he was e-mailing and "talking" to his ex from high school.

About 2 months after that (the month I was due), I was on the computer one day under his user name (this was before I knew much about computers and found it easier to just go in under the last user name instead of logging in under mine) and I/he got an IM from his local ex that was still in HIGH SCHOOL and she asked him out for lunch. I didn't pussyfoot around and flat out told her that this was his wife using the computer and she then said "Oh, well, you can come, too!". I told her it was inappropriate for her to ask my husband out to lunch and I then logged off. I confronted him about this and he just blew it off as them still being friends. This was yet another big sign of things to come. The first being the drunk driving incident.

After I gave birth to our beautiful baby, he decided to spend his 10 days of paternity leave FIXING A F**KING COMPUTER instead of helping me with a newborn. Eh, hmmm.....perchance this is yet ANOTHER sign of things to come?

About 5 weeks after I gave birth, we had a discussion about our marriage and he didn't want to work on it. At all. Period. Since you can't force a person to counseling, I decided to allow him to stay in the house until he could find a place to live. Maybe this would give us a chance to work on the marriage. Yeah, well, that weekend he decided to spend the WHOLE night out with his EX that was still in HIGH SCHOOL!

I pretty much kicked his ass out ASAP.

Anyway, we proceeded with the divorce. He kept fighting for custody and making me pay more and more money to my attorney to respond to his "requests" while he had a free attorney provided by the military. He couldn't even bother to show up for our divorce and custody hearing. He had gotten out of the Marines about a month before the hearing and his OWN attorney couldn't even find him. His attorney was asking MY attorney where HIS client was!

My daughter has never met her father. The last time he had any contact with her was when she was 6 months old. No card, presents, phone calls, visits, etc....since then.

Not even after Hurricane Katrina. Which we went through (a WHOLE other story that you guys already know about).

All that heartache and trouble and money could have been saved if I would only have lied and told him that I wasn't pregnant and broken up with him shortly after (which was my FIRST instinct that I should have listened to).

That's it in a nutshell.

Any questions?

Later,

Who Would You Do?

Ok Guys and Gals, it's time for that Monday Morning favorite "Who Would You Do" !! (book by Susan Segrest).

However, before I post this week's questions, I need to translate Saturday's video entry.

That was a specific entry for Captain Dumbass 'cause he made fun of my on Texas Word Tangle and I decided instead of getting him back, I'd give him more fuel for the fire.

What was said in the video:

"Hold your horses, I'm fixin' to go to the Pig for a Dixie, son. I'd be much obliged if you'd give me a ride. Them good ol' boys sure do know how to make some good white lightning. Have a good day y'all."

Translation:

"Wait a minute, I'm going to the Piggly Wiggly (a southern chain of grocery stores commonly referred to as the "Pig") for a Dixie (New Orleans brand beer) (son is what you call a boy/man of any age). I'd be thankful if you'd give me a ride. Those local boys from the country sure do know how to make some good homemade liquor that was made in bathtubs and gins during prohibition but is still made out in the country and it's strong enough to knock you on our ass and make you do crazy, crazy things and not remember them the next day. Have a good day you all."

Any questions? No? Well then, here we go!!!!

"Who would you rather see perform a pole dance in a G-string at your local strip club-Rue McClanahan, Betty White or Bea Arthur?"

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Calling Captain Dumbass

This here's for you.

Enjoy!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta

'Snot a troll...

Is too a troll...

No it'snot a troll...

Is too....



'Snot.

Too.

If you wanna play along, click on over to Candid Carrie's for more foto fun!

Later,

What's in a Name? and Other Randomness

I've gotten several questions regarding the title of my blog so I thought I'd let you guys know the meaning behind it.

It's a HUGE, MONUMENTAL, LIFE CHANGING story. For reals. *

Not too long after I moved up here, my mom and I were driving from my grandmother's house back to the house I'm living in now. As I've described before, I live out in the country. A place where dogs run free (for the most part) and you can almost always see some sort of dead animal every mile that goes by.

My mom and I have a good relationship (how else can we live together for a year now without killing each other) and we have perfected the art of the "comfortable silence".

As we were driving back in relative comfortable silence, we both noticed out of the passenger side window these two dogs running in a field.

I turned to my mom and said "two dogs running" and she replied "yup".

And that, my dears, sums up living here in this wonderful, beautiful place I live.

Plus, it reminded me of that part in "Twister" when Helen Hunt and whatshisface are in the truck tracking a tornado and a cow goes flying past and she says "cow". That one word made me laugh so hard. It's just soooooo.....obvious.

-----------------------------



-----------------------------

My kid's gonna be in the paper again today. It's a special segment where they take your picture and tell a little bit about you. She's pumped.

-----------------------------


Light of my life is studying the tooth in health class right now. They're learning all the parts of the tooth, how to take care of your teeth and whatnot.

She does her homework every afternoon with my mom and so my mom's been the one to go over all this with her. When it comes to the part about flossing, the book advises the kids to use at least 12 inches of floss to make sure that they have enough to do a good job.

So, last night, as light of my life was getting ready for bed, she got out her ruler and her tube of floss and measured out EXACTLY 12 inches of floss.

It took EVERYTHING IN MY POWER not to bust out laughing.

For anyone trying to figure out if it's worth it to have kids.....this is a good example of why it's a GOOD idea to have kids. Non-stop entertainment.

-----------------------------



------------------------------

The other day, I swear to God, I saw a dog look both ways before crossing the street.

------------------------------

I heard a blurb the other day on NPR (shut up). They said "People who tend to get their coffee from Starbucks will vote for Obama and people who shop at Wal-Mart will vote for McCain". I just laughed and laughed and laughed at that generalization. (this is just an observation, not a political statement on my part...don't judge)

------------------------------

I had a Harry Potter moment the other day. I was driving to work and it was kinda foggy in some spots. I had been driving for a while with a clear windshield when all of a sudden, it fogged over and got an icy look. My first thought? "Oh, shit, the dementors are coming".

------------------------------



-------------------------------


Some thoughts that keep me up at night:

When you lose weight, where does the weight go?

Do you think fumes (paint, gas, etc...) have a color? If so, what color do you think they are?

and the number one thought that drives me crazy...

If you have more than one doofus in a room and you're trying to tell someone that there's more than one doofus in the room, what's the plural of doofus? Doofuses or doofi? Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

---------------------------

I have some incredibly stupid moments sometimes and I'm so glad that I internalize most of my thoughts. Why do you ask?

'Cause of this:

Sometimes when I listen to a commercial on the radio or watch one on TV, I think to myself "how do they find people that have that particular disorder or likes that specific product or has that problem" and then I realize that....duh *smacks forehead*...they're actors.

-----------------------------

That's all I got peep. Have a good Thursday. I know I will. I have tomorrow off!

Later,



*not really. I justed wanted to make sure you read the whole post.
**the footnotes were for LiteralDan and Unmitigated. You're welcome.

Action...Take 1

Hey everyone. Here's part 1 of a series of interviews that I conducted with Light of my Life.

I feel the need to apologize for the dog, my gum smacking, etc....But, I'm not. It is what it is.

Enjoy! Part 2 will go up next week.

Later,

Mama Dawg