The Ultimate Randomness of All Randomness (at least until the next random post)

Whoo Hoo! I got some more awards.

You guys are gonna make me get a big head if this keeps up (keep it up please, I bought an XL hat the other day and right now it doesn't fit. To save me from returning it, please give me some more awards...please, pretty please, with sugar on top?)

This one came from not one BUT two people. Granted, Goodfather just tossed out like a bajillinity names on his blog to give this to, but it is soooooooo cool. It's a manly award. And it has a tool on it *hee, hee, I said tool*.

However, Irish Gumbo actually BESTOWED this award on me. He singled me and a couple of others out specifically for this award. He must think I'm a tool. *hee, hee, I said tool*

This one comes with rules. I get the feeling that Goodfather is a good rule follower. Since he's so nice, I'll do this for him.

This award is for any blog that truly ‘measures up’.

Rules

1. Say one nice thing to a man in your life. (I told Max, my puppy, currently the only man in my life...besides JD and Mike the cats, that he was cute. Does that count?)

2. List at least six ways that you measure success in your life (or for your blog).

1. My daughter is happy
2. I'm happy.
3. I can buy groceries.
4. I have loyal readers.
5. I have friends.
6. I have a nice creative outlet that earns me respect.

3. Assign this award to six other blogs and leave them a comment telling the blogger that you’ve assigned them this award.

1. Manic Mariah
2. Momo Fali
3. Tattooed Minivan Mom
4. Vodka Mom
5. Trooper Thorn
6. Even the Nice Ones

4. Link back to the blog that you received this award from.

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This next one is from one of my favorite Canadians, Captain Dumbass.

He, like Goodfather, CREATED this award.

I love me some Pirates. And if they're Canadian Pirates? That much better.

No rules with this one. If you want it, it's yours.


I like that he thinks I've got booty. Someone must have leaked my secret blog photos. Dammit!

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Awwww.....as a last minute edit, I just rec'd this beautiful award from Heinous. Isn't he sweet? I think he just wanted to dump a feminine award, but I'll take it. I've already received this one once, so I'm not gonna do the thing that's attached to it.

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You guys are in for a treat.

I'm doing a BEST OF RANDOMNESS here at the Dawg House.

I compiled a list of my best random lines from past posts.

Enjoy!

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A mouse and I had a stare down this morning in the pots and pans cabinet. He blinked first and ran away. Hahahahaha! Stupid mouse. I won!!!!! Nanny, nanny boo-boo.

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How come when I hear the song "It's A Hard Knock Life", I just want to run home and feed light of my life some porridge and dress her in tattered clothing and sit on the couch and watch "Annie" all day long?

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I just walked out in the hallway to get to another part of the hospital and it smelled like pickle relish and then I swear to God I saw a Hobbit in the mail room.

I wonder if they're connected?

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I saw an old man walking down the road the other day. He was about 6'2" or so and had white hair that I could see sticking out from under his straw hat. He was wearing overalls and boots. I only saw him from the back.

My first thought upon seeing him....oohhh, I bet he's a monster. Just like out of a Stephen King novel.

I swear if he had turned around and had piercing all black dead eyes, I would not have been surprised. Scared, yes, but not surprised.

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I took out a pair of panties the other day (clean from my drawer) and noticed my panties have stretch marks. Is that possible? And if so, what does that mean for or about me?

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I was driving home from the vet's office a couple of weeks ago and laughed when I spotted an entire unopened non-flattened package of hot dog buns in the middle of the road. Some poor schmuck is going to get home and say "Well, Ethel, I could have sworn I bought a pack of them hot dog buns...I dunno" all the while Ethel is yelling "Jethro...we cain't eat no hot dogs without them hot dog buns".

I laughed harder a couple of miles later when I saw another package in the same condition.

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Some thoughts that keep me up at night:

When you lose weight, where does the weight go?

Do you think fumes (paint, gas, etc...) have a color? If so, what color do you think they are?

and the number one thought that drives me crazy...

If you have more than one doofus in a room and you're trying to tell someone that there's more than one doofus in the room, what's the plural of doofus? Doofuses or doofi? Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

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I had a Harry Potter moment the other day. I was driving to work and it was kinda foggy in some spots. I had been driving for a while with a clear windshield when all of a sudden, it fogged over and got an icy look. My first thought? "Oh, shit, the dementors are coming".

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Here's some new random thoughts:

Having cucumbers and pickles on a salad is like sleeping with your first cousin. The pickle is only once removed from the cucumber.

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I've made it my life's mission to become friends with Morgan Freeman. He's a celebrity that's always in Mississippi and I think we could become best buds. We have ABSOLUTELY nothing in common, but that shouldn't stop us. Should it?

That's it!

Happy Friday!

Later,

Mama Dawg