Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Female Version of a Man-Cold

Not really.

I WAS sick. But it was much, much worse than a man-cold.

I've been sick. Real sick.

It all started on Sunday night.

I'll spare you the details. All I'll say is I had a portabello mushroom flavored pork tenderloin sandwich on sourdough bread with provolone cheese for dinner and a brownie for dessert. And I (plus my toilet) saw it all over again in a different form about 9 hours later.

Mr. Toilet and I are now BFF's. We have a firm understanding that as long as I keep him clean, he'll always be there for me.

Good to know.

It was a 24 hour bug. I had actually come into work (remember, I drive an hour EACH WAY to work) on Monday morning, only to sit down and promptly get back up to drive home.

I apologize now to all those driving on Highway 7 for my Gatorade and half dry bagels re-visit. I promise never to leave a lime green puddle on the highway again.

I learned my lesson. If you throw up a couple of hours before you're due at work, just don't go in. It's OK to call in sick. In fact, your asshole co-worker will loudly proclaim that you "JUST NEED TO GO HOME CAUSE I AIN'T GOT NO MORE PTO DAYS AND I CAIN'T AFFORD TA BE SICK RIGHT NAW" and same asshole co-worker will follow you as you leave through the door spraying Lysol in your wake.

Thank goodness for mommies who live with their grown children.

Yes, I could have taken care of myself but I am glad that my mom was there to bring me small cups of ginger ale (even though I was so dehydrated that I felt I could have downed all of Niagara Falls...twice) and a few unsalted saltines (that's what they call an oxy-moron, right?).

The worst part? I couldn't hug or kiss Light of My Life. I didn't want to pass on the germs. I actually cried a bit because I couldn't hug her and cuddle with her like normal. Broke my heart.

(I know that I haven't fully recuperated because I'm sitting here actually enjoying Nickelback in my iPod when normally it makes me want to toss my iPod against a wall....hard)

Anyhoo...I took yesterday off as well to finish feeling better.

I'm 100% better now.

However, my mom is not.

Now I feel like shit for passing it on.

Chances are, Light of My Life will get it and be out on Friday. The last day of school. The day she gets to go to school in her pj's and watch The Polar Express and sit in desks that have been arranged like a passenger train and drink hot chocolate and eat all sorts of sugary crap that kids thrive on.

I hate female versions of man-colds.


Mama Dawg

P.S. Thanks to all that were concerned for me. I was not ignoring any of you. I even managed to make it to the library yesterday to check e-mail and a few blogs. All of you are lovely, lovely people for being concerned.

36 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Irish Gumbo

Whew! I was getting worried, dahling! So sorry to hear about The Bug. Crossing my fingers here and washing my hands a

Nice to have you back!

Irish Gumbo

OhMyGod, second time today I have been FIRST!

I am now right with the world...

Mama Dawg

Thanks Irish! And yes, wash, wash, wash your hands!


I'm glad your better. I saw your tweets yesterday.

I had a horrible bug like this once...and I had a toddler, so I went to my mom's so she could help take care of him...then I passed on the bug to her, the toddler, and my grandmother who was visiting. I felt AWFUL.

You poor thing. Hope your mom feels better and that LOYL doesn't get it!


i'm SO FLIPPIN GLAD you are feeling better!!! and ew, that sucks. throwing up on the highway? never a good experience. even if drunk. NEVER. so sorry your momma's got your mancold and i hope LOYL doesn't get it anytime soon. and how cool that they do that at her school??? where was that when i went to school?? pshaw. i am jealous. (now i'm going to rent polar express and watch it friday night and drink hot cocoa. even tho i'm 24. ahem)


Dude, that sucks donkey nuts! I'm so glad you're better tho.. I missed you!

I have a nasty head cold that made me nearly hurl in the shower this morning. I had to sit down right there in the tub until it passed.. I think it was the spinning I was doing while wetting my hair, shampooing, then rinsing.. blah blah blah. Yeah. anyway...

I'll say a quick prayer for your little lass, it would suck MAJOR donkey nads if she had to miss Friday!!


Whew! There you are! I was just thinkin about you this morning! Hope you continue to feel better and that your Momma doesn't get it too hard core!

Man cold...I love that clip on funny.

Mama Dawg

Awww...all you guys give the warm and fuzzies. Thanks!


I'm so glad you're feeling better! I can't believe your co-worker, grr.

Glad you're back!


Oh yeah: TOP 10!!!!!


"Wash your hands after going to the bathrooooom

wash your hands after changing baby, toooooo

'cuz we don't want you to catch Hepatitissssss

and we don't want Hepatitis to catch youuuuu..."

The preceding was a public service announcement.

Mama Dawg

Thanks Remo. I'll keep that in mind. What tune do I sing that to?


You so know my feelings on Nickleback. You must still be sick to be listening to that garbage. Either that or you have been abducted by body snatchers. (hehe I said snatch)

Mama Dawg

Yeah, I'm feeling better now. A NB song just came on and I bypassed it for a Hootie and the Blowfish song.


I am glad you are feeling better. I hate stomach bugs. I'd much rather have bronchitis for two weeks. Here's hoping that Light of your life bypasses this one...

Mama Dawg

Kat! You changed your avatar! I LOVE it!

Jaden Paige

EEK! I'm so sorry to hear you were under the weather... And that the virus has lived on to torture the rest of your family!

Bah humbug for asshole coworkers. WTF is that? No concern at all. Jerk. :P

Captain Dumbass

What's with all the Nickelback hate? If it wasn't for the snow I'd drive over to Chad Kruger's house and tell him.

Swirl Girl

I am glad you are feeling better.

and if it were a man cold - you'da been moaning and groaning only when someone was within audible distance to let you know hust how sick they really are.

(hubby had a headache the other day - the poor baby)

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures

The only thing about puking for two days is the possible side effect of weight loss. : ) But eww I hate puking reminds me of when I was preganant. I am glad you are feeling better!


Glad you are better. My Monday was not the same without you! Keep us updated on LOML. Maybe she won't get it.

No chance that your mom and you ate the same poison mushroom??


How terrible! There's nothing worse than a Mama DOWN. No good.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and I'll keep fingers crossed for the little, pretty one.

Keep drinking those fluids though...

Momo Fali

Oh no! I hope LOYL doesn't get it! I work at my kids' school and there has been some nasty stomach bug going around there. I am trying so hard to keep us all healthy until next week. We're going out of town this weekend, and I do not want kids puking in the car!

I hope your Mom feels better soon!

Jennifer and Sandi

Wow, I'll stop bitching about my head cold I have right now!

GLAD your feeling better

- Jennifer

Trooper Thorn

I'm sorry you were unwell Mama. Thanks for coming by and posting on my blog even while under the weather. "drinking beer and eating bacon"; you are getting more Canadian by the day.

Mommy Mo

Oh that royally sucks. One of my favorite sick moments for myself is when my ass was planted on the toilet getting rid of my insides and the same exact moment, I had to throw up (I was preggo with #3). Nthing more spectacular then crapping and puking at the same time. Wondering where I threw up? I held the bathroom trash can- yuck!

Hope you feel better.


SOOOO glad you are feeling better! Light won't get it b/c she's got those super kid antibodies. LOTS of handwashing. I'd hate to see her miss Friday. :(


The Nickleback thing has me EXTREMELY concerned. I don't care if you *think* you're feeling better. You should get to a Dr IMMEDIATELY!

sassy stephanie

Glad you are feeling better but sad to hear mom is now hit with it. Hope she gets better real quick like.

My girls had the PJ and Polar Express day today too. They saw the 3D version. I'm totally jealous.


Popped over from Sammanthia's.

Sorry you, your mom & probably the light of your life were/are/will be feeling bad. Glad your on the mend. I guess it could have been worse; it could have been over the Christmas holiday. That when most of us get sick.

Take care!


Those things suck. You should go with the purple gatorade next time. It won't stand out so much.


I will take crazyrudeass co-worker down. I will. With a freakin' can of Lysol. We'll see how he/she likes that.

So glad you are better. I was kinda worried, you know?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher

Ug. That's the worse. Sorry, I could not help but laugh at the Lysole spraying coworker.


ugh. this has been everywhere. it keeps getting passed back and forth at work. I'm stocking up on Vitamin C and crossing my fingers I don't get sick.


glad to know you are doing better and I really do hope that Friday Light of your Life can go to school!


I understand that for dramatic effect, you have to exaggerate, but you can't really just describe something as worse than a Man Cold without some kind of verifiable medical proof, or it's just offensive.

We've worked too long and too hard to get recognition and funding in the crowded field between AIDS and cancer, which have so far shown to be at least partially curable, whereas Man Colds have not.

And, as a side note, I'm glad you're feeling better! At least until your mom is healthy enough to kill you herself.

Good luck surviving as The Most Dangerous Game.

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