Friday, August 15, 2008

Oh, the Habits of Hobbits

So, I took a long hard look in the mirror the other day and came to a decision.

I’m a Hobbit.

Yes, you read that right. I’m a Hobbit. Most likely related to Samwise Gamgee. Partly because I have that same sense of self-entitlement that Sean Astin seems to have. But mostly because of his self-determination to complete the task no matter what.

However, this post is not about self-determination. It’s about me resembling a Hobbit.

For those of you not in the know, a Hobbit is a mythical creature that lives in the Shire or, as Peter Jackson imagines it, New Zealand.

In doing some Hobbit research on Wikipedia (don’t you just love Wikipedia?), I was startled to find many, many similarities between myself and the Hobbits.

Observe, if you will.

1. Fattish in the stomachum…check! Yeah, like most Americans out there, I could stand to lose a few…or twenty. Oh, who am I kidding. Thirty. Yes, I said it, thirty. Now, shut up and go back to eating your Ho-Ho’s and Krispie Kremes you bastards.

2. Hair is short, curling and browncheck! Well, at least the short and brown part. I can make it curly if I try, but I’m too damn lazy. The laziness could explain why I can associate with #1.

3. Big feet with hair...check! Yeah, I can associate. I wear a size 9. That makes for some slim pickins when it comes to cute shoes. And again, due to laziness, I don’t always take care of the minuscule very few hairs that show up on the feet. Seriously, who cares? I don’t want to know why someone would want to look at feet anyway. Unless that’s what gets you off. And if that’s the case, you’re at the wrong blog.

4. Leather solescheck! As a child, I lived BAREFOOT and never, ever, ever got ringworm or cuts or stings. I even extended this habit into my teen years living in Florida. Yeah, I was that psycho that ran to get the mail across the street BAREFOOT on hot asphalt in Central Florida in August. Never felt a thing.

5. Adept at throwing stonescheck! Yep, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve been known to throw stones. And I’m not speaking literally. I’m working on it, though.

6. Comes of age at age 33check! Here’s a link to the post I did about growing up. I feel like I’m just now making it to adulthood…at age 31.

7. Eats 6 meals a daycheck! Hobbits eat breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea, dinner and supper. I eat breakfast, elevenses, lunch, snack, dinner and then dessert. This could also explain my association with #1.

8. They eat bread, meat, potatoes, cheese and have a passion for mushroomscheck! I love my starches and meats. I especially love vegetables. Again, see #1.

9. They like to give away giftscheck! That’s my favorite part of gift giving holidays and birthdays. I LOVE to give.

10. They give presents many times overcheck! Yes, I’m guilty of re-gifting. Constantly. Hey, give me a break…I’m poor. And I really, really, really don’t like getting angel statues or smelly lotions or body washes for gifts. So, I do what any good poor single working mother does. I re-gift. Now, leave me alone.

11. They live in hillsides and holescheck! I’m southern. It’s not unheard of for southerners to live in bunkers and homes that should be classified as hole in the walls.

When you look over this list and really give it some thought, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me…I’m a Hobbit.

Good thing, too, cause I got the hots for Frodo.



Later,


13 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Middle Aged woman

Hmmm. I had been wondering why it took me til age 36 to decide on a career. I can claim to be a developmentally delayed Hobbit.

Lula!

I KNEW I liked you for a reason, as I heart Hobbits. Three of my all-time favorite movies...

I'm more Hobbitish myself, however it's nice to fancy being Arwen, the lucky gal. Aragorn makes me swoon! Sigh...

'That Girl'

You're so funny, ..but Froto? Really?

I'm going for the King..ahhhh sweet bearded Kingly man..ahh

sassy stephanie

Wow, I was thinking I too was a Hobbit. I totally through stones. I eat all damn day. There is hardly a food I don't like, so all of these are the list enter my pie hole. But, I'm a 6.5-7 footer with long brown hair. And um, re-gifting ain't only for the single moms.

Momo Fali

I wear a size 11 shoe (went from a 10 to 11 during my 2nd pregnancy and they stayed that way). I sold some old pairs on e-bay and a drag queen bought them. Really.

LiteralDan

Are you sure you're not a Took?

Rhea

I'm gonna start calling you Mama Hobbit. hehe Too funny.

Trooper Thorn

But Hobbits do save the world over and over again. Don't forget that.

Thanks for your comments and the link on the Olympics MamaD. Can't say why the Brazilian bottoms are so... exposed. Must be a Latin thing.

And even I can appreciate Mr. Phelps amazing physique.

Swirl Girl

thanks for playing along with my photo game.

I never though of Hobbits as Hawt mommas, but if you are happy being one, so be it.

thanks for visiting

YogaforCynics

33? Hell, I'm 42 and still have a way to go before I come of age. Still, that is famously the age when Jesus got crucified...which gives you something to live up to, or to avoid, or something.

Katie Says

this is so hilarious! Hobbits are cute, by the way. ;)

Mama Dawg

MAW-There you go. Complete justification.

Lula- Yeah, Aragorn was a hottie. I was kinda into Legolas as well.

That Girl- Yeah, I have a thing for short guys. Frodo's my man. Actually, I liked Pippin the best.

Sassy-LOL! I knew I wasn't the only one that re-gifted! Glad to know it.

Momo-Yeah, I went from a size 8 to a size 9 with my pregnancy. However, as far as I know, a drag queen didn't buy my shoes that I gave away! That's funny.

Dan- I must be. I have more of a thing for Pippin (and he's a Took). I must have been his wife in another life.

Rhea-If I feel the need to change my name, I think I'm gonna change it to that!

Trooper- That's true. I guess I have that to look forward to!

Swirl Girl- You're welcome.

Yoga-Awww, man, don't put pressure on me!

Katie- Thanks! I like them, too.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter

I like Sam Gamgee. He is loyal thru and thru.

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