Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'm Growing Up

Lately I've noticed something. I'm growing up.

Yes, yes, I know. I'm 30 years old (soon to be 31). I should have been grown up by now. I've been through a (very short) marriage, I've had a baby, gotten a divorce, suffered a natural disaster and made a life changing decision. Despite all of that, I still felt like a child inside.

I'm an only child and as such, tend to be selfish. I know this about my self. I'm fully aware of my flaws. And believe me, I have plenty.

Ever since I made the life changing decision to pull up the only roots my daughter has ever known and move to a much smaller town and life style, I've changed. Maybe not on the outside but inside something has shifted.

It's as if I've woken from a deep sleep and have just now started to notice the beauty that is life. Man, that sounds so corny and cheesy and all those other "food" words you use to describe incredibly goofy crap.

I've started taking an interest in life outside of my little bubble.

I never cared for yard work yet I find myself every day outside (since the time change) working in the yard. Either cleaning it up or pruning or planting.

I was never the world's best housekeeper and I'm still not, but I clean more.

I listen to NPR (shut up) and like it.

I've gotten interested in politics (but not enough to talk about it here).

For the last year or so, I've been more interested in non-fiction than fiction.

Granted, I know that this isn't a big change and it's not something noticeable, but it's different for me.

I've also noticed that I don't care as much about the little things. Annoying co-workers.....I just ignore them. When I lived elsewhere and worked for a different company, my co-workers bugged the hell out of me. I was more concerned about what was going on with them (their work, not their personal life) than I was with anything I was doing. Every little thing bugged the hell out of me and I would take it home. Now, at 4 pm, I shut everything down and leave. I have the hour drive home to decompress....although I'm finding that I don't need it.

I'm not as short with light of my life.

I'm actually taking an interest in the city I live in.

I don't know what it is exactly, but I'm chalking it up to growing up.

It's about time.


Mama Dawg

54 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:


I hear you sister girl. I think I've been doing some of that growin up too. Sending a big pat on the back your way.

Kristen Schiffman

I just looked into the mirror last night and announced to myself, "Kristen - you are growing up!" lol. I've noticed changes in my own day to day - little ones like you - dealing with others and gardening...

Loved this. Love your blog.

Jacki McHale

I cried when I turned 18! Now less then 4 weeks from my 30th birthday, I realtze you hit the nail on the head, I to am taking a small interest in politics ( not enough to blog on) care more about my town and less about peoples drama.

Glad to see I am not the only one still growing up...

SITS sista!


I've noticed the same things you have! I care about my yard (this is the first year I have flowers!, not just mow the stupid thing), I like a clean house, I also care about politics (but don't blog about it). Welcome to adulthood!

Givinya De Elba

Yeah, it's a good feeling isn't it? My growing-up was going along well: I was beginning to enjoy life and feel on top of it until I undertook some leadership in a Kids Holiday Program. It's driving me round the twist right now, but come 7th July, it will be OVER and I'll just take life down a step after that. No more Kids Holiday Programs, it's a different season of life now.



Funny how it sneaks up on us isn't it? Suddenly you realise you are turning in to your mama and feel quite happy about it


There are so many interesting things out there that we just don't "get" until we grow up. I'm going through that too.


sitsa here--
i can totally relate to everything you said. great writing! sometimes i still feel 12 years old....and other times, not s much....


Congratz on being today's SITSA! ;)

I'm an only child too so I totally (totally) hear ya!
I'm turning 33 in December - YIKES! Here's to growing up *cheers*


Welcome to adulthood. I just recently realized that I too have grown up. Will I still insist we divide the coins equally at Chuckie Cheese? Absolutely!


Here from SITS :-)

Nice post.

Personally, I'm still growing up and I'm in my 50's :-) I think it's a life time process. It's just that you get to a point in your life, where you actually realise that it's happening.


I totally know what you mean, though the kiddo in me fights it every day! Ha ha...

We just moved a year ago and it's like I can breeeeeathe now. AND I have a garden.

I get it.

Happy Queen Bee Day! Saw ya on SITS!


The cliche "you must taste the bitter to know the sweet" rings true here. Maybe after going through so many things you are not only growing up, you are at a place where after tasting the bitter you are now able to enjoy the sweet that much more. What a great place to be in.


Maybe it's something about turning 30 that does it, because I've been feeling the same way, girlfriend.

Wonderfully said, nice post! It's so nice to meet you!

Cray and Bickford Family

One day at a time...we all grow up!

Congratulations on your journey!


This line:
"Man, that sounds so corny and cheesy and all those other "food" words you use to describe incredibly goofy crap."
And this line:
"I listen to NPR (shut up) and like it."
Made me think, hey, I can so relate to this gals humor... And the second line made me think, perhaps I'm growing up too?.. Heck, I'm growing up enough to think I might even send subscription money to NPR... (shut up!):-D


sounds like I need to do that, but how at 24, I'm not sure. :)

This comment has been removed by the author.

I am looking at the big 4-0 in a few years...and I still think I am on that growing up journey.

Melissa Lester

Good for you!


When I turned 30 I actually googled turning 30 to get other people's reaction because I struggled (I should have read other blogs, but it was pre-blog for me and it was just four months ago!) But then I went through what you are going through and now, I'm good.


Oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel. I'm 36 and I feel like I'm just now growing up. I like politics and NPR too....geez...what happened?

Jennifer P.

I can't help but think what an amazing thing blogging is, that you could have such an epiphany about yourself AND have a place to share it other than your own head. Welcome to being a grown up :)!


I love that you shared your self discovery. This is a blog post you will always treasure!


Visiting via SITS- I loved your post. So honest. I think I finally felt like an adult once I was in my 30's.

Half-Past KIssin' Time

They don't call it "the simple life" for nothing :) Glad you have had this awakening; it's wonderful. You AND your daughter will benefit. Great post.

Swirl Girl

Isn't it ironic that once you figure it all out, it's late(r) in life!

You should be glad you had your
'ah-ha' moment while there still time to enjoy it!



I understand what you are saying. I think that they call it WISDOM! never thought that anone would call wise, someone with lots of wisdom. Well, let me be the first. I think that you are one wise woman with much insight. You go girl!

Mommy Meryl

Now that is your "ah-ha" moment! I always think my grandmother's favorite saying was corny but brilliant - that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I think sometimes the tragedies in our life help make us the people we are and it sounds like you had to have some rough spots before you connected with who you are. And at only 30- you will have a lifetime of more "ah ha" moment! :-)


I'm going through the same things. It does take some getting used to.

Tracy P.

Yay for you--sounds like you are discovering joy along with that wisdom. I'm with those who think the growing up is a lifelong process.

Hairline Fracture

Good for you!


Good luck with the growing ups SITS sister!! I kind of sucks that we have to do that sometimes!!!


HAPPY SITS DAY!!! I so know how you feel. Being grown up is not so bad.

Bradford Bunch

I just moved my three girls to a small town from a big city in CA, so we have something in common. Life is definatley slower her but it gives me time to do things like this.

Mama's Losin' It

I think that small town is gettin ya. Maybe they're not so bad after all.


Sweeeeeet, I'm not growing up according to this list! :)

Nichole Jolene

isn't growing up grand? i'm so happy to be gaining more knowledge and becoming more involved in the things that really matter instead of being so self involved.


Good for you!! and how GREAT that you're recognizing what is taking place in your life!!!
Enjoy being a grown-up!!


Being grown up is a good thing - too bad we all don't clue in on it earlier:). Nice post sista.


I think I still need to grow up--a lot. :)


Sitsa here.

I feel the same way you do. I turned thirty back in December. I feel like I have turned over a whole new leaf since then. I too also feel like a kid on the inside. Looking back, it's hard to believe that I made it to 30. Weird. I feel like I am still 18 and not quite an adult yet. I always wondered if anyone else felt this way.


When I realized I prefered NPR over morning talk radio, that's when I finally felt completely grown up, lol.

Sounds like you made some intersting decisions. I can't wait to read more of your blog!


Hey SITSa!

Good for you, it really sounds like you're "finding yourself" - which sounds cheesy, but it's true.


Mrs. R

That's why the thirties rock. You really come in to your own!


Hi Mama Dawg! Thanks for stopping by today, only I feel bad that you stopped by and left me a comment before I could get over here. I clicked on your blog early this morning after leaving the SITS site but didn't have a chance to read your posts since I had to get my daughter off to camp. I feel like I am late to the party. About your post, ya know what I think, I think that you are finding joy and contentment in where you are and who you are at this stage of your life. That is maturity. That is real growth. You are way ahead of most people your age because you have been through alot and you have higher stakes as a single parent. And you know what else I think, your daughter is blessed to have you as a mama dawg. ;)


Very cool post! Growing up means different things to each individual. You can be super-mature in some areas, but a hold-out in others. You know what my big light bulb moment of growing up was? When I was driving in the country, stuck listening to Christian radio, and discovered that I not only knew the words, but was comforted by them. So NOT me! Can't wait to do some catch-up reading of your older posts!


Holy crap it's crowded in here! Congrats on being the featured blogger today! And on growing up a little... it sucks being a grown up though.


Good choice for an introductory post for SITS! (Yeah, I'm a SITS girl, of course)

There's a lot of bits that are intriguing in this post that make me curious. And it's sort of sad that so many of the "growing up" moments you list are not fun things. I'll include NPR in that list. :)

deconstructing jen

Great post! And I could have seriously written the same one about 6 months after my youngest was born. I'm 31 also and it seems like this is the year to grow up.

And NPR rocks.


I'm 31 too and it seems to be a good time to grow up. As good as any I guess. Growing up is tough though, somedays I prefer to be a brat!!


I am about to be 29 and am still waiting to grow up maybe almost 31 is the magic age??

The Epps Family

Wow- lots of change for you, too. 30 is still young. It's the new
40, right?

Judy Haley

it's amazing how a different location can help you shift your perspective.

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