Thursday, April 16, 2009

Vietnam, Footloose and the Duggars, Oh My!

Can I get any more random? (channeling my inner Chandler)

I was listening to NPR this morning (shut up) and they had this report on how Vietnam is trying to pass a law that bans dancing in karaoke bars.

Now that Zac Efron has dropped out of the remake of Footloose, I really think they need to set the remake in a Vietnamese karaoke bar with this guy as the new Ren.

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I had a dream last night about the Duggars.

Yeah and it was weird.

I mean even weirder than, well, you know...the Duggars.

For some reason, I was out there visiting them. Except they were like in Montana or something. And they had this HUGE log cabin with a wraparound porch.

And they looked nothing like what they look like per the pics on the 'net.

The dad was half bald. You know, bald in the front with lots of hair in the back. And he was wearing those square thick-lensed yellow tinted glasses from like the 70's. Oh, and he also had a 70's porn 'stache.

The mom had that shoulder length hair with bangs and it was kind of poufy. And she looked nothing like the real Duggar baby machine mom. She also looked like a fish. You know, a fish mouth? Kinda like this, except, you know, female.

Anywho, they had this huge living room where some of the little kids came out to play with toys. They were kind of normal, except for the fact that the mom kept sitting really, really close to me. Like practically in my lap. And she kept staring at my mouth.

Oddly enough, in my dream, it didn't make me uncomfortable. It was like it was normal or something.

The dad came in after a while and sat on an ottoman and drank a Miller Lite out of a can and kept staring at me while rubbing his porn 'stache.

Then, one of the little girls came up and sat on my lap and turned to me and said "my name is Katie" except she said it in a slightly British accent and it sounded like "Kay Tee" like Jane Banks in "Mary Poppins" when she says Katie Nana.

And she only had one arm.

And the tee shirt she was wearing didn't have a sleeve for the missing arm. It was like a specially made shirt for one armed kids.

And she was blond. Like peroxide blond. And she was dirty. And looked nothing like the other kids or the parents.

Then I woke up.

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The other day I was getting gas at the gas station and I had a totally surreal moment.

A guy in a sports car and a mechanics jumper was at the pump on the other side of me. He was already out of his car but hadn't put the pump in his tank yet.

I got out of my car, undid the gas cap, put in my card and got out the pump. All of a sudden, it was like we were mirror images of each other.

We both put in the pump at the same time, we both stopped the gas at the same time, we both pulled out the pump at the same time, we both put the pump in the machine at the same time, we both hit the no receipt button at the same time, we both got in our car at the same time, we both shut our doors at the same time, we both pulled away from the pump at the same time.

Then we went in different directions.

It was kind of cool.

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I've loved The Offspring since I was in high school.

While I was listening to the Kidd Kraddick show the other morning, they were on the show and sang one of their new songs. It's called "Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?" and it made me cry. Right there in my car. Because they explained what the song was about before they played it.

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It's spring down here in my tiny burg and you know what that means.

It's almost turtle saving time again.

For those of you that have been around with me for at least a year, you know that I have this insane urge to rescue turtles that are in the road.

Thanks to me, personally, 6 turtles were spared being smeared all across the road last year.

And I got nary a word of thanks from those fuckers.

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1 month, 2 weeks and 1 day til Disney World.

Later,

Mama Dawg

19 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Jess

First of all, I am totally tripping out over your Duggar dream! LMAO!

Banning dancing in karaoke bars. Weird. And don't tell anyone, but I listen to NPR too...mostly Click and Clack, but I do catch some REAL 411 on the world every now and then.

We get Kidd Kraddick here too! COOL!

You go girl! You save those turtles!!!

mo.stoneskin

Did you eat a lot of cheese the night you had that crazy dream by any chance?

I reckon the gas pump guy could be an alter-ego...

Shannon

I totally dig random posts like this. In fact, I've got one planned for tomorrow. But it it no where near the level of awesomeness this one is...

Bobby G

random posts are the most fun to write for sure! The Duggars freak me out, and BIG SURPRISE the ones that just got married are pregnant. Im sure they've been fuckin like rabbits for the last few months, it was only a matter of time. They said they were gonna name their kids "M" Names,

Teri

I can't even get enough of your random posts. My life is so random, I feel we have a random connection. :-)

I am here to confess that I watch the Duggars. Usually with my mouth and eyes wide open during the entire show. I just can't turn it off.

Cocotte

What were you drinking the night you had the Duggar nightmare??

Amy

You have dreams like me. Very strange.

My sister is in Disney right now. Bitch! ;)

I've never been there, wanna take me?? LOL!

Swirl Girl

Maybe the next time you want a night cap before bed, you should stick to the stocking kind not the bourbon kind.

HAHAHAHAA

steenky bee

I'm so jealous of your Disneyworld Trip! LOML will love it! Love it!

Captain Dumbass

If you're in Montana then you're... well, you're not close to me, but you're a lot closer than where you are. Come by, I'll make grilled cheese.

Kelly

I totally watched the Offspring video while at work. Question? is she a cutter or being abused? Please fill me in. (Great song anyway)
I rescue turtles too! Somewhere I read that you are never to turn them around but always put them in the direction they were heading!
What exactly where you smoking/drinking before your Duggar dream. I would like some!

Kat

When you said that guy was wearing a blue mechanic's jumper I had an overwhelming urge to jump up and sing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl". Is that weird?

Middle Aged Woman

Who's gonna rescue the turtles while you are in Orlando???

jen721

You are pretty random today. Kudos to you for rescuing those f-ing turtles. Make sure not to try that with a snapper. It'll bite your finger off.

Momo Fali

That dream! Clearly, with the mouth gazing and the porn 'stache, you're totally into them. I think this is the next, "Who would you do?"

Bee and Rose

That was a seriously bizarre, but fascinating dream! lol! (porn stache..lol!)

I love that you are a turtle rescuer!!

Rhea

You'd better carry a camera in your car while you save turtles. I need photos! And you should name each one...starting with the letter A for the first one, B for the second one...like they name hurricanes.

I listen to NPR in the car. I love it. I learn the craziest stuff. I love their world news.

Your gas station moment was WILD. Very cool.

And the Duggar dream...SCARY.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher

I love the thing with the gas pump guy. And I think you should get one of those count down thingies for your Disneyworld vacation.

BTW I tagged you for a meem at my blog.

kristi

LOL at your dream! And I love Kidd Kraddick! I listen to it all the time!

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