Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Randomness of Me

Yeah, you're getting treated to more randomness. Sorry. It's all I got today.

I sat in the kitchen this morning and watched my cat J.D. take a leak in Max the dog's water bowl. Granted, it was empty and Max has another water bowl that stays outside that he drinks out of now, but still.....made me wonder what he did to piss J.D. off.

Then I realized that he did it because he's getting sick again. And my heart's breaking just a little today.

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I live in such a small town that whenever anything scandalous happens, it's a BIG deal and will be talked about for ages.

In this case, the scandal happened in a small town near us and not exactly our town. But word spreads.

Apparently, my optometrist was having a horrid affair with the First Baptist Church's preacher's wife. And then when his wife accused him of the affair, he attempted to strangle her and was arrested. The preacher accused his wife and told her she could have two bags to pack up whatever she wanted but couldn't have a car to leave. She could call whomever she wanted to come pick her up.

I love my tiny towns! It's like Days of Our Lives over here.

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I love music. And I love dancing. Good thing they go hand in hand.

However, how I think I look dancing (in my head) is far different from how I actually look dancing.

In my head, I dance like this:




However, in real life, I dance a bit like this.....



.....but without the bikini. I don't dance in swimwear. Not enough support.

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I frightened the shit out of my self this morning.

I went to the bathroom at work to refill my water glass for the first time today. We have those automatic paper towel dispensers that when you wave your hand in front of them, they give you a pre-disposed amount of paper towel to use to dry your hands.

Anyway, when I leaned over the sink to turn on the faucet, I must have triggered the dispenser cause it started whirring and spitting out a paper towel. It was kind of funny. But my heart was still racing a few minutes later.

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I love spring. I love getting a glass of wine and sitting on the front porch just enjoying the lovely longer, warmer days.

I'm so ready for summer though so I can pick my blackberries and make a delicious cobbler.

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I also love spring because when I get home from work, there's enough daylight leftover that LOML and I can play outside.

Our newest obsession is football.

We used to have a football shaped ball that we caught from a Mardi Gras parade but Max tore the hell out of it. It was made of pleather and was stuffed.

We bought a Nerf football but he not only tore a hole in that, he also stole it from us when LOML missed a pass and went and buried it.

We still can't find it.

We finally went and plunked down money for a pigskin football on Saturday.

We've discovered that Max likes to play football. Not only does he "catch" the ball, but he'll try to tackle you for it, too.

Such a boy.

Here's a vid that we made last night:



Yes, those ARE my pale almost pure white legs. Knock it off. I can't afford to get a fake tan and it's been too cold to lay out for the past 5 months.

And yes, I know my hair looks like shit. Leave me alone. It was after work and it was wind blown from playing football. Shut up.

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Don't forget about my contest. Deadline is next Friday.

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I'm in the middle of Angel Season 1 right now and I had forgotten that Doyle died in the first season. I'm pissed all over again. I love Glenn Quinn. I loved him as Becky's husband Mark on "Roseanne".

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It's 8:25 am and I'm already ready for a drink.

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How's your Wednesday so far?

Later,

Mama Dawg

23 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Jaden Paige

Hey, we have the same skin tone! You know, half-dead??

;)

Cocotte

Whoa! That's some juicy gossip! I need a spray on tan and a drink too!

Bobby G

MAN! Thats a scandal for SURE!
My Wed is good, Mon we found out my work is closing for good in July, so that sucked, but I am BG so Ill make it happen!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy

I also need a drink. And a tan.

I don't get any juicy gossip cause I never leave the house :( I'm pathetic.

ChurchPunkMom

Your dog is awesome!

and if you want to see some funny dancing, you should come watch me do Bollywood Booty! now *that's* entertainment. ;)

Jess

I am feeling slightly hungover, but do not have a headache! Just tired. Thanks for asking!

And yes, I was appalled at the white legs and hair. I almost didn't watch the video. TARD.

I would very much enjoy the latest scandal in your town there...ohhh soooooo fun! Except maybe not for the people involved. But who cares about them.

I am sad for J.D...all you can do is love him. And give Max new water! :)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher

Affair or not, the preacher sounds like an ass with his two bag and no car rule.

I'm having my first cup of coffee and working out a kink in my neck thank you very much.

Soldier without a War

hey!! I feel a little dizzy now from watching that wobbly football game....lol... That actaully seems like some awesome excercise. I love that you seem to have so much space at your house to run and play. I think we all think we dance better than we ACTUALLY do...lol :)

Amy

I love the small town scandal, everybody knows your business shit. It's exciting sometimes. Unless YOU are the scandal :)

Lo

hilarious- i love max! and sad that jd is sick... i have a sinking feeling that the love of my life (my cat) is ill. it sucks. i'm ready for a margarita and it's ALMOST noon. should be allowed.

HeatherPride

I'll take you up on that drink. I don't care if it is before noon.

mo.stoneskin

I've always believed that optometrists are criminal types who should never be trusted...

...love the small town mindset!

Csquaredplus3

Awesome! Love Beyonce - the whole singing and dancing thing - frees my soul! The bikini gal is hysterical - but look how much fun she's having. Right on! Enjoyed watching you and LOYL play football with Max, and I'm ready for a drink too. Damn life, gets in the way of my wine...

sassy stephanie

Oh Granny, get off the stage and put on a one piece!

Swirl Girl

shit - you do more 'thinkin' before 9am than I do in a whole day.

This cracked me up - and next time you use my likeness for your Booty Call...I want residuals.

Captain Dumbass

Footbawl. I love the way you guys talk.

Robin

Damn it! The Captain beat me to it! I was just going to say how cute your accent is!

starrlife

I sure hope JD isn't too sick... I'm going to worry about him now!

Twenty Four At Heart

A scandal! That's fantabulous! I've become immune to them here in Money Town. Everyone screws around with everyone. It seems so much more interesting when it happens in a small town!

Teri

Thank you for convincing me that, without a doubt, it is in my best interest to NOT wear a bikini this year.

Mom Taxi Julie

OMG I didn't know someone was taping me when I was dancing at the beach!! I must have been really drunk too because that is the ONLY way I'll dance, not to mention wear a bikini!!

Kat

How in the hell did I miss this post for 2 days? I am off my game or something. Anyways I think the pigskin was a good investment, much tougher and it will last for years of springtime football (fooseball)

Mariah

That's why I don't dance around in swimwear either. It's all about the support

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