Thursday, September 11, 2008

Mama Dawg...The Drug Mule

Did I ever tell you about my time as a drug mule?

No?

Hmmmmm….how I missed tell you guys about that, I’ll never know.

Anyway, it was back in 1995.

Yep, the year I graduated high school.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I used to work for Disney World.

I started in February of 1995 during my senior year of high school.

I met a fabulous girl there. I called her Mimi. Her real name is not Mimi and because I love her so, I will not reveal her real name here.


(that's me and Mimi)

Nevertheless, Mimi is Puerto Rican.

It’s important you know that…seriously…it has some bearing on the story.

Anyhoo, sometime during that summer, Mimi and I decided to visit my aunt, uncle and step-cousin in New Orleans. It was normally a 10 hour road trip but this being our first road trip and all, it took a lot longer than that…naturally.

No, we didn’t get lost.

We stopped to go shopping in an Antique Mall somewhere in BFE Florida or George or somewhere near those states.

Could have been Alaska for all I know. (Hi! Sarah…nice caribou!)

Before we left, we had decided to swing through Jackson, MS to visit my dad and step-mom.

Since we were in the neighborhood and all, you know.

At that time, I was driving my Teal Mobile. We had the car full of crap. You know, necessary things. Bathing suits, clothes, hair stuff, shoes, snacks, drinks, etc…..

I made the incredibly smart decision to drive the WHOLE WAY.

Mimi offered, but I declined.

Cause I’m a good friend that way.

After driving FOREVER, we finally get on 49 in Mississippi.

Anybody that knows Mississippi knows that this is known as COP CORRIDOR.

It’s dark and I all of a sudden see these swirly lights in my rearview mirror and I pull over like a good law-abiding citizen.

This big huge good ol’ boy swaggers out of his tiny clown car sized cruiser (that’s how big he was) and mosies on over to my window.

After staring at his rather immense crotch (which was approximately 10 inches from my nose) for about 5 whole minutes, he finally leaned down and asked me for my papers. After he reviewed them for what seemed like hours, he asked me some incredibly stupid questions like “So, you’re name is (insert my real name here)? You’re from Florida, huh?” All this after looking at my DRIVERS LICENSE from the state of Florida.

I’m all “WTF” (inside my head, of course). I answer his questions and watch as he walks all around my car peering inside.

Mimi is in the passenger seat and had been sleeping but was woken up by the commotion.

The cop finally asks me to step outside and makes me walk to the back of my car while he asked me the same stupid questions AGAIN!

He finally asks me if I had been drinking and when I answered negative, he leaned in close to me. I can only guess it was to try to sniff out any alcohol fumes from my breath.

He told me he pulled me over for weaving on the road. When I explained to him that I was tired from my long trip, he finally, sweet lord in heaven, finally let me go with a warning.

An hour or so later, we’re right on the outskirts of the city my dad lives in off of 1-20 when I get pulled over again.

This time, no swirly lights. Just a siren and a white non-descript truck.

This was before we got all those warning e-mails about fake cops pulling women over, so again, like a good citizen, I pulled over.

This time, the obviously undercover cop gets me out of the car first thing and asks to see my license.

He, at least, was a smart one. He just looked at me, looked at the license, looked at me again and asked me if I knew why he pulled me over.

I said, “Well, the last cop pulled me over for weaving”.

He didn’t find that funny.

He did say that that why he pulled me over.

He then asked me where I was going and I told him. I explained we were only 20 minutes or so from my dad’s place and that I was really, really tired.

He then asked me if I had someone in the car. When I gave him her name, he got all bright eyed and started walking around the exterior of my vehicle.

This whole time, I’m finding all this incredibly weird and I can’t figure out the strange behavior.

He finally comes back around after talking to Mimi in the car and lets me off with a warning.

We continue on til we get to my dad’s house.

After we get there and we relax for a bit, I explained the cops weird behavior to my step-mom and dad.

They started laughing and told me that I was a suspected drug mole.

When I asked what that meant, they said that even though they pulled me over for weaving, they probably already had me in their sights due to the following:

I was driving a sports car
I had Florida plates
I was a young female

When they pulled me over and saw that I had a Puerto Rican in the front with me, that furthered their suspicions.

It turns out, the routes I was driving was apparently the drug corridor haven for drug mules going from Texas to Florida or vice versa.

Who knew?

Just so you can get an idea of how much I love Mimi, here’s a picture of us from a trip to Six Flags.



She Rocks!!!

Later,

21 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Lynn - the piggy bank painter

OMG. Too funny! I probably would have shit a brick.

I remember being young (barely) and doing stuff with my then best friend. We did not stay in touch and I often wonder what happened to her *sigh*

Heather

Oh, I wish I had some fun roadtrip stories!! The cop thing is scary, though. I can't believe they thought you were a drug mule!!

Mama Dawg

lynn-I was so tired, I forgot to be scared.

heather-we also went to Atlanta and it was a blast. 4 girls, one hotel room and Six Flags.

Mrs. S

Very funny story! I would have cried if I'd been pulled over twice in one day! Props to you for keeping your cool.

Thanks for stopping over at my blog. Hope you enjoyed yourself and stop by again. Always welcome.

sassy stephanie

That is funny! I thought you were going to tell how you got put in the slammer!!

jenboglass

I hope the picture at the end was a shout out to the cop. Your friend was racial profiled! Who knew you had close encounters with the law?

LiteralDan

Well thanks a lot for posting this... now you're too high-profile to take this little bag over to some friends of mine on the other side of The Internet.

Trooper Thorn

If they had found out you worked for Disney, it would have been a spread-eagle-on-the-hood, side of the road cavity search. It was well known in the 90's that the Disney corporation was cornering the whole drug market in the Gulf States. All the character costumes were stuffed with cocaine, since no one would stop the free movement of beloved figures like Goofy and Minnie Mouse.

Didn't you ever notice how the names of Seven Dwarves sound like street slang for drugs: Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy etc?
Didn't you ever notice how the names of Seven Dwarves sound like street slang for drugs: Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy etc?

Swirl Girl

That's Dope(y)!

Jennifer and Sandi

Sorry don't mean to laugh but that was pretty funny. I'd shit in my pants now days...but yes to be young and on a road trip with a great friend = Priceless.

- Jennifer

scargosun

OMG! I know it must not have been at the time but it was funny. The things you can say to a cop when you KNOW you have doen NOTHING wrong. ;)

Lisa

OMG! I laughed my ass off when I saw that picture. F'ing hilarious. If I ever need a drug mule, then I know where to go now.

angie

Wow. I had no idea drug mules drove sports cars from Florida with Puerto Rican's in the front seat. :) I'm glad you stopped by. Hope to see you again!

Cocotte

Was that one of those photos you buy at the park? You are too much!

jen721

So you were just a suspected drug mule, not a real one. Thank goodness.

I got pulled over once with a good friend of mine who actually did have some illegals on her. When I asked where it was "Oh, its hidden." "Where?" "In my pocket"

Thank god we didn't get searched!

Mekhismom

Love the photo and drug mole? Whoa.

Tiffany

I love road trips.

Someday I will post about my road trip from Cali to OK... full of adventure... and a 4 hour detour to see Billy the Kid's Grave.

Good times.

anymommy

Road trip stories are the best. That is a classic. And that last picture is fantastic.

überburber

Loving the old pics and stories. Just think, you coulda done time...and then perhaps no puppies for you. Forks in the road...that's what it's all about. Love the rollercoaster hair.

Rhea

haha you drug mule. I'm so glad you didn't get any tickets.

Love that final picture. The hair. lol Killin' me!!!

The Nice One

Ha! That's an interesting story...
Road Trips....!!!!
That last pic is GREAT

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