Mama Dawg...The Drug Mule

Did I ever tell you about my time as a drug mule?

No?

Hmmmmm….how I missed tell you guys about that, I’ll never know.

Anyway, it was back in 1995.

Yep, the year I graduated high school.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I used to work for Disney World.

I started in February of 1995 during my senior year of high school.

I met a fabulous girl there. I called her Mimi. Her real name is not Mimi and because I love her so, I will not reveal her real name here.


(that's me and Mimi)

Nevertheless, Mimi is Puerto Rican.

It’s important you know that…seriously…it has some bearing on the story.

Anyhoo, sometime during that summer, Mimi and I decided to visit my aunt, uncle and step-cousin in New Orleans. It was normally a 10 hour road trip but this being our first road trip and all, it took a lot longer than that…naturally.

No, we didn’t get lost.

We stopped to go shopping in an Antique Mall somewhere in BFE Florida or George or somewhere near those states.

Could have been Alaska for all I know. (Hi! Sarah…nice caribou!)

Before we left, we had decided to swing through Jackson, MS to visit my dad and step-mom.

Since we were in the neighborhood and all, you know.

At that time, I was driving my Teal Mobile. We had the car full of crap. You know, necessary things. Bathing suits, clothes, hair stuff, shoes, snacks, drinks, etc…..

I made the incredibly smart decision to drive the WHOLE WAY.

Mimi offered, but I declined.

Cause I’m a good friend that way.

After driving FOREVER, we finally get on 49 in Mississippi.

Anybody that knows Mississippi knows that this is known as COP CORRIDOR.

It’s dark and I all of a sudden see these swirly lights in my rearview mirror and I pull over like a good law-abiding citizen.

This big huge good ol’ boy swaggers out of his tiny clown car sized cruiser (that’s how big he was) and mosies on over to my window.

After staring at his rather immense crotch (which was approximately 10 inches from my nose) for about 5 whole minutes, he finally leaned down and asked me for my papers. After he reviewed them for what seemed like hours, he asked me some incredibly stupid questions like “So, you’re name is (insert my real name here)? You’re from Florida, huh?” All this after looking at my DRIVERS LICENSE from the state of Florida.

I’m all “WTF” (inside my head, of course). I answer his questions and watch as he walks all around my car peering inside.

Mimi is in the passenger seat and had been sleeping but was woken up by the commotion.

The cop finally asks me to step outside and makes me walk to the back of my car while he asked me the same stupid questions AGAIN!

He finally asks me if I had been drinking and when I answered negative, he leaned in close to me. I can only guess it was to try to sniff out any alcohol fumes from my breath.

He told me he pulled me over for weaving on the road. When I explained to him that I was tired from my long trip, he finally, sweet lord in heaven, finally let me go with a warning.

An hour or so later, we’re right on the outskirts of the city my dad lives in off of 1-20 when I get pulled over again.

This time, no swirly lights. Just a siren and a white non-descript truck.

This was before we got all those warning e-mails about fake cops pulling women over, so again, like a good citizen, I pulled over.

This time, the obviously undercover cop gets me out of the car first thing and asks to see my license.

He, at least, was a smart one. He just looked at me, looked at the license, looked at me again and asked me if I knew why he pulled me over.

I said, “Well, the last cop pulled me over for weaving”.

He didn’t find that funny.

He did say that that why he pulled me over.

He then asked me where I was going and I told him. I explained we were only 20 minutes or so from my dad’s place and that I was really, really tired.

He then asked me if I had someone in the car. When I gave him her name, he got all bright eyed and started walking around the exterior of my vehicle.

This whole time, I’m finding all this incredibly weird and I can’t figure out the strange behavior.

He finally comes back around after talking to Mimi in the car and lets me off with a warning.

We continue on til we get to my dad’s house.

After we get there and we relax for a bit, I explained the cops weird behavior to my step-mom and dad.

They started laughing and told me that I was a suspected drug mole.

When I asked what that meant, they said that even though they pulled me over for weaving, they probably already had me in their sights due to the following:

I was driving a sports car
I had Florida plates
I was a young female

When they pulled me over and saw that I had a Puerto Rican in the front with me, that furthered their suspicions.

It turns out, the routes I was driving was apparently the drug corridor haven for drug mules going from Texas to Florida or vice versa.

Who knew?

Just so you can get an idea of how much I love Mimi, here’s a picture of us from a trip to Six Flags.



She Rocks!!!

Later,