Thursday, September 18, 2008

From A Teenager's Point of View

Oh, wow.

I was totally gonna drop the whole sex education post because, well, I like to do a different post a day (unless it's a pre-discussed lengthy post telling a specific story), but I can't in all honesty drop this subject.

And it's all because of two teenagers.

When I left my neighbor's house yesterday, I still had only 15 comments on that post. I knew I might get a couple more from those that stay up late and don't get to catch up on their reading until late at night.

However, I did not expect to get two teenager's comments on this very post.

Parents, if you want to know how kids think, read the below comments.

For the record, I KNOW these two girls personally. They are level headed, smart, funny, pretty, popular girls who are seniors in high school.

One of them is family...not blood related, but we've been in each others lives for so long, I consider her like a cousin or even a little sister. The other girl is a friend of hers and I've known her for years as well.

I have not edited their comments. Please excuse any grammar mistakes. Both are such responsible hard-working girls (who know proper grammar and spelling), we can let this slide! ;)

Here's the first quote:

"OK.. maybe you want a teen's opinion on all this.... For all you readers out there, here's a 17 year old's opinion....

My mom never had "The talk" with me. One day she saw a very young pregnant girl and pointed to her and said "See that? That's what happens..." lol

I would just about DIE if she came up to me and talked to me about it. I am still a virgin, which is MY choice. I have many friends, however, that are not. That is there decision.

Kids are jumping into sex soo early now. If you decide to have "The Talk" with your kids, please do it EARLY!" Earlier than when they start to want it, but late enough so that they could grasp the importance of the subject!

Parents, sorry but the hormones will win. They won't listen to you if you tell them to wait. All you can do is to do your part by stressing how important protection is. Mistakes will happen but, there are ways to try and prevent those mistakes these days (Like birth control!) Mothers, don't freak out if your daughter comes up to you asking for birth control. Take it is an act of responsibility!"

And the other quote:

"Here's another seventeen year-olds opinion...i also never had "the talk" i have two older siblings and by the time i was 6 i knew all about the birds and the bees between my 13 year-old brother and his friends nothing was left to the imagination...

Whatever questions i did have were answered fully none of the "what a kid can handle" bit, i got the full story...being as informed as i was i knew that sex was a very large step and you shoulnt do it until you feel you can raise a child...

i am also a virgin by my own choice...my mom always told me to wait until i was at least a senior in high-school to even consider doing "the deed" and that i did! now as a senior i know I WANT to wait until i find love...not until im married but until i find someone that when im telling my daughter how old i was and who it was with it will be someone i can truly say i'll never forget...

i know many people my age girls and boys who have had sex and they admit that they really regret it and that they just did it b/c they didnt think about the possible consiquinces...So no i dont think you should tell them to wait til marriage, and i agree with v make sure they know the facts don't have "the talk" persay but have an open heart about the situation. You've apparntly done it and it's not a death sentence!"

I'm not gonna analyze these comments or break them down. I think they should stand as they are and take them for face value.

I personally feel that they have some good advice for us parents.

Girls, I just want to say how proud I am of both of you and that getting comments from you two are the highlight of my days. Both of you are strong, smart, beautiful, funny young women and I am proud and honored to know both of you and have both of you in my life.

Please, if you have anything positive to say in response to these girls, just post a comment and I promise you, they will read this (and your comments). I know that both of them are regular readers of mine.

However, if you have anything negative to say, if you really feel you need to get it off your chest, please e-mail me direct instead of saying anything in the comments section. Remember, they ARE just 17. Also, I'll personally track you down and kick your ass!

Later,

21 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Minivan Mom

I wish more parents gave credence to these sentiments. I can understand religious beliefs and wanting your children to remain abstinent until marriage - I can *intellectually* understand that rationale. But what I don't understand is not recognizing and affirming that your children may have very different beliefs - and that's OKAY. You can raise your children with your expectations and instill in them what you believe is morally right...but then I think you also need to understand that ultimately, they wlil make up their own minds, and I hope you have also empowered them with the KNOWLEDGE to make smart decisions.

Just my thoughts as both a parent of 3, and someone who has worked with teenagers for over a decade now. :) Nice job sharing your thoughts, girls!

The Nice One

I loved getting the comments of two teenagers. Great idea. Great job, ladies.

scargosun

This is a great idea for a book. Get teens opinions about stuff like this. I really admire their thought process and honesty. I hope that if we have kids they will be able to put their opinions together as well as these two ladies did.

Jennifer and Sandi

Wow that is pretty cool! Great blog these past days!! Awesome job and yep, I'm pretty proud of those 2 girls!!! ROCK ON!

- Jennifer

Mama Dawg

Scargosun, that's a terrific idea! I know lots of teenagers (via my daughter's small school and these girls), so it might be feasible. Hmmm...things to think about.

I call dibs!

Maggie, Dammit

These girls are awesome.

The thing I remember most about being their age, is that one day I thought I would never have sex, and said as much, and then the very next day I was having it. I think the thing parents forget is the immediacy of that age, and how everything is intense and day-by-day, not big picture. My point is, you have to start having the talk early, and you have to KEEP having it. Over and over and over.

Lisa

Bravo Girls! I especially loved reading your comments- it helps us parents to read/hear what teenagers really think. And you guys did a wonderful job expressing yourselves.

Lula!

Now that's TOTALLY how I'd like my girls to respond when they are teenagers...with a mature, well-spoken, and well-thought out answer.

Very impressed...indeed!

Ashley. Unscripted...

Awesome girls!! Their candidness speaks volumes.

This is a great series of posts.

Insane Mama

I am VERY impressed. These irls obviously have a good head on their shoulders.

My daughter told me that she wished I gave er the 'talk' earlier than I did. I intend to with the younger ones

TentCamper

It was great to hear the teen's perspectives. We have a daughter in high school and one in middle school. It is hard,as a parent, to know when to talk about sex with them. Thanks for your post and those comments!!!!

Krista

Congratulations, girls for your intelligent responses! It's nice to think that our kids can wait until marriage (and we teach our kids that) but it's better to make one mistake than two. You may regret being with the guy, but why have a baby or get STDs that you have to live with? You guys are so good, I might even let you check out my son! He's your age.

Swirl Girl

These two young ladies - or should I say young women - sound as if they have their heads screwed on thr right way! Bravo to them for taking in the information, converting it to knowledge and using it independentlya and wisely!

I hope my two daughters are as grown up as they are!

LiteralDan

It's great that you spotlighted their comments, because they were worth highlighting.

It's good to know there are some sensible kids out there still!

Trooper Thorn

It's great to hear the girls talk about it being "their choice", not the desire of some baggy pants, dope smoking slacker boy friend.

As I've said before: Men are pigs.

Collect and publish the teen sex stories Mama Dawg. It's a great idea.

Rhea

I usually subscribe to your comments, and I did yesterday, so I read those girls' comments as they sent them. I think it was really great to here some teen voices on the issue.

stefanie

when i came to read my favorite bloggers blog...i totally didnt expect to see my comment be the main topic! thank you Mama Dawg for "giving a rats" about my thoughts.

Captain Dumbass

Great post today, MD, and congrats to the girls. Well said. And you should definitely look into that book idea. Although... as a former 17 year old boy, maybe just talk to the girls.

Weith Kick

Their parents must be doing something right because those two girls gave some very smart, adult advice.

Vicky

Wow!! I was just putting my 2 cents in lol! Thanks Mama Dawg for posting our comments in todays post and i'm glad that some of your readers appreciated the advice.

Stefanie and I both have different types of friends with varied opinions on these subjects and we talk about them. Not just sex but other things that we deal with too. So if anyone ever has any questions or anything feel free to ask us.

greedygrace

I'm late to the party. I just read your first post. They're both very insightful, and I love what the girls had to say!

(and no one ever had "the talk" with me, either. I learned from books, tv, and my friends. TG, because I am certain I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to have that conversation with my parents!)

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