Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thump, Thump, Thump.....Ahhh...That Hurts!

That's the sound of me banging my head against a wall. And then the sound I would make after doing it a few times. Actually, it would go more like this......thump, thump, thump....ahhhh....motherf#$%in, whore of an elephant, son of a bitch....and more expletives that I decline to mention on this blog. That's because, well, I can cuss worse than a sailor. Thanks to Chad Hartzog. Ahh....Chad Hartzog. The owner of the first penis I ever saw*. The boy who introduced me to craw daddies (to the uninformed, that's crawfish to you) and mud sliding and turtles and all sorts of other boyish things. In other words, one of my closest friends growing up.

*Hee, hee. You all wanna know that story, don't you?!? Well, I'm not gonna tell it. At least not right now.

Hmmm, hmmm....sorry for that. To get back to the wall banging part....I just overheard a conversation between my co-workers.

Normally I don't pay any attention to them because I have my headphones on and I can't hear them (thank god for small favors like being able to wear headphones at work) but the Internet was being pissy so I had to do without.

I now have a grudge against the Internet. It's his fault that I am forever scarred by the stupidity of humans.

A person mentioned that while at Wal-Mart recently, they saw someone a co-worker also knew. This person mentioned in a HORRIFIED tone that they saw this mutual acquaintance in the.....wait for it.....WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT!!! Gasp!!! The horror!!! However will they be able to erase that horrible scene from their memory? Where is Jim Carrey when you need him? No, no, no, say it isn't so, Joe. A MAN in the WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT!!!!!! That can only mean one thing...he's gay! Oh..my..gosh. Everybody run for their lives, it's a gay man! You can tell because someone spotted him in the WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT at Wal-Mart! (for the record, I think he was just wandering through it or he could have been sent there by his wife to pick up an item).

Seriously? And to top it off, when she (I mean, this person) mentioned this, another co-worker came running out and said "What? Oh my gosh".

I debated on whether to laugh out loud or just hang my head and cry.

Instead, I decided to bang my head against a wall.

Motherf#%*in, whore of an elephant, son of a bitch!#$%

People are stupid.

Later,

Mama Dawg

8 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:

Julie

LOL too funny! I have a bunch of beotches I work with too. Namely one that I freaking can't stand. There has to be at least one every place you go.

Kathy

I mean they've got to have SOMETHING to talk about right!?!

Kathy
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Kathy
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy
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Kathy

Oops. Turns out I should really only press the "publish your comment button" once. Lesson learned. Sorry about that.

Mama Dawg

I guess, but still.....what century are they living in?

Mama Dawg

no prob.

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