Sacred

As most of you know, I got sucked into Facebook. I "befriended" lots of people. Most of them are from high school but a few are my new found bloggy friends.

I've enjoyed seeing what everyone from high school as grown into. And by that, I mean either their careers or their family life. And for some, their political parties. Those make me laugh the most.

However, I've really reconnected with two people that I considered to be my closest friends while living in Florida.

One of them is Jenny, who knew me in high school. We probably met in middle school, but didn't become friends til our Freshman year in high school. However, once we became friends, it was hard, fast and furious. Our friendship, I mean. We clicked and bonded and giggled and dreamed for 3 years.

We grew apart our senior year. She was heavily involved in Drama and by that time, I didn't give a crap anymore about school. I still had my activities, but by then, I was just going through the motions. There was no fight, no falling out. Just a gradual decline of the friendship. Very organic.

We briefly connected a few years ago but other than a couple of Christmas cards, nothing happened.

When I got on Facebook, we found each other again. And I swear, it's like no time has passed. We've both grown. In different directions, but we've both grown. I am enjoying getting to know her as an adult.

The other person that I've reconnected with and which has pleased me to no end is my friend Mimi. I've posted about her before. She's a trip.

Mimi and I met when I worked at Disney. I started working there when I was 17 and the day I turned 18, we were out in the clubs. Dancing our fool asses off and living it up like only an 18 and 19 year old can. We hit every club that we heard about. We danced and laughed and lived.

We became tight real fast. She was the first friend that I actually said "I love you" to. Before her, I knew that I loved my friends, but never said it. Because, well, we were in high school. She was the sister I always wanted and never had. I told her things I had never told anyone before. We had experiences that I had never had before. I took my first road trip with her.

We moved in together and life happened. We disconnected and moved our separate ways. Years later, through the magic that is the Internet, we found each other again. It was great but we only half heartedly stayed in touch. I was busy with an infant and still new to the whole Internet thing. She was busy going through life stuff and trying to raise 2 boys. We lost touch but amicably.

With FB in the picture, we found each other again. And it's different this time. This time, we have time for each other. We are not just doing the same old BS on Facebook. You know, the "how have you been" and "oh, such a sweet family" stuff. We are talking like we used to. Making each other laugh. Making plans to meet up this spring and maybe do a trip together in the late summer. We're really making an effort to re-connect.

I'm feeling all these warm fuzzies and my heart is happy.

I know you're probably wondering where all this is going, aren't you?

During all these conversations I've been having with these two friends, I have discovered how they viewed me during that time that we were younger.

When you're in high school, you really don't care what your friends think of you. You're friends. You don't need to know what they think of you. If you didn't like each other, you wouldn't be friends.

So, I never had any clue what their perceptions of me were back then.

A few comments here and there during some conversations have brought to light what they thought of me back then.

And it makes me want to weep.

For joy. And I love them for it. For seeing in me who I really am. For seeing in me the person I always wanted to be.

They saw confidence. They saw a free-spirit. And even back then, they saw someone who really didn't care what others thought of me. They saw that spark.

I was never a traditionally pretty girl. When you saw me, you didn't think "Wow, what a stunner". But, there was something always there. Some little spark.

I never saw this of course. I'm going by what others told me.

The other thing I've discovered is that I knew who I was all along. Even through high school and those early adult years.

I had this guy friend in high school. His name was Chris. He is a Native American.

He made me this lovely Indian medicine bag. He told me to put sacred items of mine inside. They would help to keep me calm and centered.




So, I did. When I was 16 or 17, these are the items that I put inside.

I had forgotten about this little bag, but when I was reliving some memories last night, I remembered it. I pulled it out and opened it up.

Inside were the following items:

The ring you see on the left is a ring that an ex-boyfriend gave to me. He was the only guy in high school that I dated for more than 2 weeks. We actually dated for 2 months. We met while on the track team and I fell head over heels for the guy. He was on a club soccer team and they went to England. While in England, he bought me some presents. These were actually the first AND last gifts I got from a boyfriend. He got me a teddy bear, but he also got me this lovely ring that has an Irish saying on it. Don't ask me again what it says. It's in Gaelic. I wore it until we broke up. After Chris made me this medicine bag, I had healed from the break up enough to recognize that I would appreciate this when I got older. So, in the bag it went.

The next item is a Canadian penny. I can not, for the life of me, remember why this is significant. But, at one time in my life, it was.

The next item is an alexandrite and gold ring from my childhood. It was my first piece of real jewelry and was given to my by my mother.

The next item is an alexandrite and gold earring. The mate is missing. They were one of the first pairs of real gemstone and gold earrings I got when I got my ears pierced. Again, they were a present from my mom.

The next item is a shell. No clue on the back story to that one. But, it must have meant something at one time.

The last item is what brings this bag and the reconnection to my old friends together.

It's a folded up piece of paper. When I opened it up, this is what I found:

At age 16, I knew enough to believe in myself. To write it down.

To make it sacred.

Later,

Mama Dawg