Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Light of my life is getting ready to turn 8 pretty soon. It’s that time of year again for the birthday party. Sigh. It’s so much more fun to attend than plan.

Before she reached school age, it was easy on the invites. You just invited the kids you wanted to come. Period.

When she reached kindergarten, she was attending a school in a different state from which we normally lived. Not only did she have to attend school for the first time (I don’t count pre-school because she attended pre-school at her daycare), but it was in a new place with new people. She did fine and made friends.

I decided to have her party at Chuck E Cheese. Now, I love me some Chuck E Cheese. I think I like that place more than she does.

Anyway, in her backpack that morning (about 2 weeks before the party), I sent the invitations we had addressed to just a handful of kids.

Later that afternoon, after I picked her up from after school care, I found a note from her teacher in her notebook.

It said something to the effect that if we were going to invite just a few kids from her class, I needed to find a way to do it outside of school as it was school policy for invitations to be given to every kid in class.


Same thing happened her first grade year. Different school, different state. Same story.


What if I couldn’t afford to have a party for all those kids? What if light of my life hated some of the kids in her class? What if I prepared (or bought) a bunch of food and trinkets for the goody bag and games and drinks, etc….and only 3 people showed up?

I’m supposed to take on the responsibility for feeding and entertaining 21-25 kids whom I don’t even know? I, as a single mother with a limited income and a tight budget, was supposed to dole out between $100-200 for food and junk on the off chance that every kid would show up? Such a waste. Cause you know that not everyone is going to show up and since they didn’t RSVP that they wouldn’t be there, you didn’t want to run the risk of running out of food or goody bags. Cause that would show what a shitty hostess you are. LOL!!

Believe me, putting RSVP on the invite means jack shit to most people out there today. So much for a courtesy phone call stating “yes, we’ll be attending” or “no, we’ll not be attending”. Really, is it that hard to pick up the phone? Drop an e-mail? Hire a carrier pigeon? Make a smoke signal?

When I questioned why, I was told that it would hurt some of the kids feelings if they weren’t invited.

So effing what?!?!?

Life happens. You don’t get invited to every party. Growing up, I KNOW I didn’t get invited to every party and yes it hurt to be excluded. But so what? It taught me that I didn’t have to be included in EVERY LITTLE THING that went on in the universe and it also taught me who my real friends were.

Kids today are too coddled. Everything’s geared towards not hurting their feelings or making sure that they feel included.

In order for these kids to carve out some kind of normal life in today’s society, you need to let them feel the sting of rejection and the hurt of exclusion. Believe me, if they don’t start getting a harder shell now, it will hurt 100% worse when they’re older and feeling it for the first time. Kids at this age are so reslient and get over things far better and quicker than older kids and teens do.

I am so thankful that this new school she attends has no such policy. She can invite whomever she wishes.

And she will.


Mama Dawg

3 really cool people who give a rat's patootie:


Happy Birtday to our early birds! I can't believe that they are 8 years old. Have a good party. Ours is Saturday at the local pizza/mini golf place and he was able to invite only those he wanted to this year, but had to give the invites to the teacher to put in folders, he couldn't hand them out.

Mama Dawg

See, even that I could handle, but to put a definitive "everyone or no one" mandate is just wrong in my opinion.

Have a good party!

Jodi @ blog-o-licious

yeah, the everyone must attend rule is stupid. with avery - he has friends at school, friends in our neighbourhood and friends from hockey. so if he had to invite everyone from school, there would be no room for other friends.

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