Still?

On Sunday after church, LOML and I had lunch and then went to the park so I could get my 4 miles in and she could play on the playground.

When we arrived at the park (which is located next to the high school parking lot and a residential zone), we could see some kids on the playground.

LOML was excited. Sometimes when we get there, there's no one around and she gets sad and bored.

However, this time there were some kids there.

I parked in the parking lot that was behind the play area. We got out of the car and I got my gear together. iPod=check. Bottle of water=check. Kleenex=check.

LOML got out of the car and got her jacket on.

I went ahead and started walking while LOML got her stuff together. As I got closer to the play area, I could hear the kids loudly yelling. Since I had my earbuds in, it was mostly noise, but the closer I got to the playground, the more distinctive the words got.

And boy, were they some ugly words.

Little kids (younger than LOML who is almost 9) saying "fuck you" and "ass" and "shit".

I was shocked but, hey, they weren't my kids. Mine knows better.

I did worry a little though that she might not have as much fun as she was thinking if the kids were this "rough".

I make my way around the walking path and notice that by this time, LOML had made it to the playground.

I kept an eye on her as I walked. I saw her on the slide and the climbing structure.

As I got about halfway around the path, I hear "Mom" real loud. I turned off my iPod and turned around.

She's running up to me with tears falling down her face and gulping air.

When she reached me, she said "They told me to get out of there".

Confused, I asked her "What do you mean?"

She said, "A girl told me to get out of there.".

I asked, "Do you mean the playground"?

She said yes.

Oooohhhh boy. The mama bear in me woke the hell up.

I started to storm over there all the while LOML is yelling at me not to go over there.

She decides to go back to the car while I'm storming over in a huff.

I can see that the kids at this point have noticed me coming over but to their credit, they didn't run.

I marched right into the playground and demanded in a LOUD voice, "Who said it"?

They immediately started pointing at each other.

I asked it a couple of more times, all in the same LOUD (not yelling) voice.

I finally said, "Someone told my daughter to get out of here".

Some little girl spoke up and said, "We didn't tell her that"!

I asked if she was lying then.

They didn't say anything.

I then told them that she has as much right to be there as they do and that it wasn't right for them to tell her to leave.

I then went on to tell them that they ought to be ashamed of themselves for cussing since they're only kids and that if I heard one more cuss word out of them, I was going to track down each of their mamas and inform them of what they had been doing.

They all just stared at me and didn't speak another word.

I walked back to where I had left off in my walk and continued on. When I got back around to where the playground was, I noticed that they had all left.

I assumed that they were going to go home and tell their parents what happened.

Since I hate confrontation, I decided to leave after just a half mile of walking.

I went and got in the car and started driving around.

The more I drove, the more angry I got.

I was NOT going to be that person that gave up something like a nice safe walking path just because I didn't want to face a potentially angry parent.

So, I sucked it up and went back. I parked the car. LOML stayed inside while I started on my second lap. Halfway around, I saw this white car pull up and this HUGE woman get out.

I wanted to pee/vomit/shit so bad. I just KNEW this was going to go bad.

But, I held my ground. I took my earbuds out as she approached me.

She asked me what had gone on because her kids came home crying about some lady at the park yelling at them and calling them "black bitches".

I was STUNNED! SHOCKED! HORRIFIED! that these kids had gone home and told their mom this.

She started off by saying how she had some white folks in her family and she hates that some white people around here treat the black kids this way and that she doesn't hate white people and on and on and on.

I literally couldn't speak I was so shocked.

When she finally stopped talking for a minute, I managed to tell her exactly what happened and that I did NOT, under any circumstances, call any of the kids "black bitches".

She said that she knew that some of the other kids that were there were trouble and were known liars but that her kids generally weren't.

At that point, I asked her kids, with her standing right there, if I had actually said those words.

Their mama looked at them and told them to tell the truth.

The looked from me to her and back again. They finally said that no, I didn't say that and that it was the other kids that told my daughter to get out of the playground and that they were also the ones that lied about me calling them names.

The mama looked appeased at that point and the crises was diverted. They all got in the car and left.

My knees were shaking. I was so terrified that some sort of big issue was going to be made and that there was going to be a beat down with me as the recipient.

After I got over the now non-existent reason for fear, I started thinking about how that mama IMMEDIATELY assumed it was a racial issue because my daughter was white and the other kids were black.

And it broke my heart.

That because of how things are around here, it's STILL an issue today...in two thousand FREAKIN' nine!

Come on people. Get with the program. Get over this hatred you have of people that are different than you. Get over yourselves. Trust and believe that you are NO BETTER than anyone else on this earth. Get your head out of your ass and have some compassion.

And I'm not talking about that mama either. She just went on the offensive and I understand that.

I'm talking about all the people that live here that make it to where she has to go on the offensive and immediately assume that the problem was a racial one.

I sometimes literally get sick to my stomach at the hatred that still exists today.

I try my best to raise my daughter not to listen to the racial slurs that are spoken in mixed company around here. I tell her that it's wrong and that it's a banned word in our house.

I did learn something valuable about myself out of this, though. It was not all for naught.

I learned to take a pro-active stand for something that I wanted and to not let fear beat me down.

No matter how big she was.

Later,

Mama Dawg