Yeah, you read that right and no, it wasn't EXACTLY like that.
The boss man's wife held a Passion Party.
If you don't know what that is, google it.
So, I wasn't really looking foward to going to the party. Not because of the nature of it, but because I'm still new here (even though it's been 4 years) and I still don't know a whole lot of people. The older I get, the less I like to be in uncomfortable social situations.
However, I like the bosses's wife. She's nice. And there was nothing else to do on a Thursday night. I can always watch Big Brother on-line if I ended up missing the episode, so, you know....it's all good.
What was funny was trying to explain to Maggie without really explaining it to her, why I was going to a party that she couldn't come to. I hate giving the old standard "because it's a party just for grown-ups". I like trying to be as honest as I can with her, but that just wasn't gonna fly.
I arrived at the party just a few minutes behind and was relieved to find that I knew most of the people at the party.
In addition, the food was amazing. It was only cocktail weiners and meatballs (so appropriate for this kind of party) and chips with cheese dip, but the cheese dip was not your normal Rotel and Velveeta. It was 3 different kinds of cheeses with shredded chicken and ranch dressing. Yummy, yum, yum, yum. The meatballs were in a crock pot and were in a combination of salsa and honey barbeque sauce. Never had that before and it was to die for.
And, as my co-worker lovingly created and decorated, there was a pink penis cake. The funniest part of that (besides the obvious, ehem, icing "leakage" at the end) was the fact that her 21 year old son was giving her pointers on how to make it more "realistic" looking when she was making it!
The party started off by easing you in to it by showing you all the sprays and lotions and gels and stuff and then she got to the good stuff.
Y'all, I don't think I've ever touched that many penises (albeit fake vibrating ones) in one night like that (not even that one night at the fire department with those firefighters) EVER.
What was even funnier was that everyone (for the most part) was actually taking it so seriously. We were pointing out pros and cons of each one that was passed around.
All in all, it was a good night. I helped the hostess bring up her sales orders and came home with a full belly of good food.
How was YOUR Thursday night? Anything like mine?
Erin.....this is for you.
So, I've pulled yet another disappearing act. It's been quite a while.
Let's play catch up first and then, hopefully on to posts....again. I know, I know, I know. I'm worse than a 13 year old boy who promises he'll call after school and never does and then ignores you for the rest of the week because, well, he's a 13 year old boy.....wait...what?
Never mind.
Let's see. I last posted in May, so that's....roughly 4 months of catching up.
Not too shabby.
I've learned to sew.
I've learned to sew A LOT. I smell a new obsession! And no, not the CK kind (although I do like that scent).
I was changing out of my walking clothes in to work clothes this morning. We just put up new mirrors in the ladies bathroom (we hold proms and pageants and etc....here throughout the year) and I caught a glance at my boobs in my sports bra. Specifically my nipples when seen through a sports bra and the first thought that popped in my head was:
"My boobs, in a sports bra, look like Shannen Doherty's eyes".
For those of you who know what I mean, you'll laugh.
You are most welcome for that disturbing image this beautiful Friday morning.
Love to all,
Mama Dawg
My retired mother was sitting at home the other day and was watching one of those morning talk shows. An author came on and was talking about his book that he wrote called "The Book of Awesome" (Neil Pasricha). She was intrigued and asked my aunt down in New Orleans to swing by Barnes and Noble to pick it up for her so she could give it to my grandmother for Mother's Day.
It arrived and we flipped through it before she made me wrap it for her (aren't I a good daughter?.......and yes, that's a rhetorical question).
It got me to thinking about all sorts of little things in life that are awesome.
For instance, I had one just the other night.
Maggie (formerly known as Light or Light of My Life or LOML) had a softball game (see what all y'all have missed by me not blogging?). It's summer league so the games last either 7 innings or an hour and a half. Whatever comes first. And let me be the first to say that we've never seen 7 innings!
Anyway, at one of the practices earlier that week, a lost dog (not a stray since it had a collar but no tag) found its way to the practice field. It was a sweet, trusting dog. She was a mama dog and took a shining to me. I let her sit in my lap for most of the practice and she even fell asleep at one point. It was kind of sweet.
That's not the awesome moment.
So, when the game was over and we were packing up to leave, I saw the dog again. But, I saw some random kid using a black ribbon as a leash and the dog was refusing to go with him. She was shivering and shaking and clearly scared.
There was another lady also watching what was going on and made the comment that she didn't think the dog belonged to that boy. I told her I was pretty certain that it didn't since I had seen it earlier that week and he was no where around.
I put on my big girl panties and walked over to the boy. I asked him point blank if the dog was his and he said yes. I then asked him where he and the dog lives and he looked at me blankly. He said that he didn't know. I then asked him again if the dog was his and he finally said no. I told him that he had to take the ribbon leash off the dog immediately and that since the dog didn't belong to him and it obviously belonged to someone, it would be considered stealing if he took off with the dog. He took out a pair of scissors (who the hell carries ribbon and scissors with them....especially a kid?) and cut off the ribbon. The dog immediately came over to me and wouldn't leave my side. I went to a couple of houses in the neighborhood but none claimed her.
I drove back by later that night and saw the dog still at the ball park, so I obviously put the fear of ______ (insert your own word here...jail, God, crazy ladies, etc....) into the boy.
That was my moment of awesome.
Although.......I'm not quite sure that's what the author had in mind. I don't think "Scaring Little Kids Shitless" is one of his top 1000 awesome things.
But it should be.
Later,
Mama Dawg
I've just been reading over some of my blog posts and realized just how much I missed it.
I think bloggy land has changed a bit since I was on last, but I'm willing to jump back in.
You can thank Erin over on Facebook for my return.
Let's see if I can get this thing jump started again.
No real post for now, but I'm working on one.
How's everybody been?
Missed me any?
Anybody get married, get divorced, have babies, moved, turned into a screaming banshee, eloped with Daniel Radcliff, adopted any minority children or squished a spider?
Laters,
Mama Dawg
Light is in a 4-H sewing club and their most recent project was sewing baby blankets for St. Jude's.
A local TV station came out and did a news report on them. She didn't get interviewed, but the ittle girl that goes first, Landyn, is her best friend. However, Light is all over the newscast. She's the one in black and wearing glasses. They got a lot of close ups of her.
When you click on the web page, the video bar is on the left hand side. The description talks about a sewing club. In fact, right now, her face is the face you see when you bring up the web page and look to the left!!!!
I'm so proud!
www.wcbi.com
Yeah, I know. I spelled that wrong. On purpose, of course.
Let's see. What have you guys missed out on since I've been away.
Oh, crap. A LOT of things have gone on.
Here's the highlights:
We had a TERRIFIC time in Orlando this past June. I got to spend lots of quality time with the BFF and her fam. Got 4 free days at Disney to boot! Did a day at the beach, spent some time with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. All in all, a helluva trip!
Light had a good summer. She's still going strong in 4-H and is excelling in all activities.
Part of my job is helping to put on our county fair in July. It was soooooooooo time consuming and tiring and crazy and I had a BLAST doing it.
While during the fair, we ended up adopting a new dog named Bella AND a guinea pig named Bob. Yes, I said while during the fair. The dog was dropped off or ran off and ended up at the midway. The carny didn't claim her and she was limping and Light and her friend were doing those big teary eyes at me.....so, I have a new-ish dog. She's a full blood blue heeler and is the sweetest thing. She's had a litter or two of pups in her past so I call her my mama dog. I really need to go get her fixed. She's gone through one heat cycle since I've had her and it was a bitch to deal with. Thank goodness she didn't get knocked up. I have no clue how old she is, but I'm getting the feeling she's up in years. Her teeth are slightly ground down and she just seems older, but then again, even with the lame leg, she can run full throttle when chasing after the mail truck.
Nikki, my dog from my BFF in Florida, got hit by a car but she survived. However, the big old DRAMA QUEEN made me crawl under the house to DRAG her ass out so I could take her to the vet. She had a leg joint that was popped out of place and a bad case of road rash on her side and legs. Thank goodness it wasn't that bad of a hit. I think she just got nicked. Since then, she's not gone out in the road. Lesson learned, I suppose.
Oh, and the guinea pig. Well, my bosses wife's sister (got that?) got preggo and couldn't keep the critter, so the boss man's wife asked me in a half hearted way if we wanted a guinea pig and I said "sure" (gotta learn to teach my mouth to STAY SHUT!!!). However, he's AMAZING. Very well behaved. He came to us as Jacob, but since we had just gotten a dog named Bella, I made Light change his name. It was getting too Twilight-y for me.
At least.......not yet.
A friend of ours has such a huge heart and takes in all sorts of orphaned animals.
However, this time, I think she took in more than she could handle.
A neighbor had been having problems with an adult skunk spraying their dogs. The neighbor went out and shot the skunk not knowing it was a mama skunk and she was only spraying to protect her babies from their dogs. Once he found out that there were babies, he felt bad and wanted to find a home for the babies. So, naturally, he thought of my friend.
She invited us over the other day to come see the babies.
Oh, my, lord. Are they ever cute!!!
Light had no fear of picking them up. (yes, that is blue stuff around her mouth...think blue snowball).
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